Might sound Stupid

[temur72]

I have a question

I have been writing one lady for over a month, then on Tuesday, she writes saying her mother and father (she is 27 living with them) had a big fight and he didnt come home. In the letter she states that she will write when things get better.

Is this a blow off (assuming she is real, non proffessional pictures were sent by her and physically they match the proffessional ones
 
Or does she actually have family issues

If so, should I write back, asking if she is ok? I dont want to annoy her, as she is a nice girl (again assuming most of the communication was real. If it was fake and done by the agency I would expect they would string it along further

Thanks

[temur72]

I have a question

I have been writing one lady for over a month, then on Tuesday, she writes saying her mother and father (she is 27 living with them) had a big fight and he didnt come home. In the letter she states that she will write when things get better.

Is this a blow off (assuming she is real, non proffessional pictures were sent by her and physically they match the proffessional ones
 
Or does she actually have family issues

If so, should I write back, asking if she is ok? I dont want to annoy her, as she is a nice girl (again assuming most of the communication was real. If it was fake and done by the agency I would expect they would string it along further

Thanks

In general it is best to give the lady the benefit of any doubts. Do not think it is something else, and then react to this "idea", which may be completely wrong and you end up looking like a jerk. And causing a HUGE problem for yourself, and the relationship.

Take it on face value ... she is having issues in her family, she needs to focus on this "crisis" ... whatever it is .... she needs you to be understanding and supportive, and if you are not ... then maybe you aren't the guy she thought you were.

could it be a story and a test ? to see how you react
who knows, or will ever know .... but you have to act the correct way, and be understanding, caring, and supportive ...

my opinion and advice on this   :-/

Mike O.

If it is a test should I wait untill she resonds back like it sounded like she wanted in the letter or  should I ask how she is doing and how things are going? I dont want to annoy her but I dont want to ignore her either.

thanks for the advice

[Willy The Londoner]

All you can do is sit back on this one.  The problem is that you are so far away there is no way of finding out what the problem is.  There is a need for someone in China to be ready to assist others in cases like this at this time.  

It could be that MaMa and BaBa have argued over their daughter having a relationship with a foreigner.  I don't know.  Or the parents may be going through a bad time themselves.

We all must remember that having a daughter who is involved with a foreigner can cause problems in some families.

In the 1960s when the imigrants from the West Indies were coming into the UK I can remember the way people looked down on anyone who had a daughter who went out with one of the immigrants.  It is the same for us today in many places in China.  Remember many think of us as the foreigners who are only after ruining a few good Chinese women and then going back to our own countries leaving the mess behind.

Go out with a foreigner and the neighbours will spread the message and not many Chinese men will take up with her whether she was still a virgin or not same thing happened 50 years ago in London.

So I think we can only advise to wait this one out and hope that she can provide you with more information very soon.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

i dont think its a blow off, something happened and she is focused on that.
 give her a little space and write back later that you were thinking of her and
 wanted to know how things were going with her and her family. hoping all things
are well with everyone. unless of course she writes back and tells you what
happened before you do