inviting your lady to this forum revisited

[David5o]

Martin,

The decision you took in the Facebook days, about inviting the members ladies was the correct one....
It should be strongly discouraged, but as it stands now, who knows how many of the members ladies are visiting this site anonymously!!!

What we shouldn't be doing is pandering to these ladies in any shape or form, they are not anyone here's responsibility. Any ladies that do register should be in no doubt that this is a ''Men's Forum'', either by a notice as you described above, or other means....

Like you Martin, Lucy also often comes to this site. Sometimes i get her opinion and thoughts on a particular post, before i reply. Wives that know you and understand you well, and have the maturity not to be offended by others remarks about Chinese ladies or there country are fine here. But i would never ever ask that the members tone down there views and wording for her benifit, .... because she just does not need it!!!
The difference being, that yours, mine and a few others who's ladies sometimes view this Forum are our ''Wives'', and not ladies that that we have known for five minutes or a few months or so (and sometimes considerably shorter) and met ONCE or not at all!!!

I think Bros that invite there ladies to view this Forum are just asking for trouble to tap them on the shoulder, and it isn't going to do this forum as a whole, any good either, in fact i will go so far, as that it will do it a good deal of harm in many respects.....

David.....

[Bee964]

David and Martin,

I for one would never invite some lady here without really knowing her. I found this forum through a link on the CHN site. I would guess that the women there could do the same too. There is nothing stopping them from signing up here, is there? They could even sign up as a man. I thought this was a site that was developed as a support group for men, (western men), looking for an eastern wife. Any helpfull information that is put up here for the success of this venture will be accepted by me, whether it comes from a man or a woman. I stand by what I said earlier, I like having the opinion of a chinese woman on this site for this reason. It may help me to understand what is going through the mind of a chinese woman.

Dave C

[David5o]

Dave C,

That's one thing your not going to get from these anonymous ladies, that come to this Forum in the guise of Guests. If you are going to get a Chinese ladies view point posted here, it's going to come from one of the Bros wives!!.....

David......

[ttwjr32]

i think at this point and time it is a mute point to keep discussing that women can come to
this site. its going to happen and there is nothing that we can do about it. what just needs to
happen is that members here just post as honestly and as best that they can to the thread.
and not have to worry about what the reprecussions are. if you post honestly and objectively
then you need not worry about any reprecussions. and not add to the issue by TELLING the lady
your talking with about the forum. why do you need to tell everything you do?? this forum is nothing
that should get you in trouble if she finds your a member here!!!

[David5o]

Ted,

What do you advise, if a certain Bro whose ladies visits this forum needs advise about a relationship that is maybe going sour, or needs advise on the always controversial ''red envelope'' senerio ....or any other touchy subject??

The idea here is to try and persuade any more Bros from taking this route of inviting there ladies to this Forum, not just roll over and give up as a lost cause!!!

David....

[ttwjr32]

i didnt say  Give Up (roll over) if you need advice or input on your relationship then just ask is what i meant. dont
be worried about what your lady thinks!!! thats what will ruin this place   and as far as inviting them thats there choice
just think of what could happen before you do. and i personally think that its folish to tell her anyway. why on earth you
would do that if she isnt your wife is beyond me after your married thats a different story. my wife sometimes reads with
me and when she sees something really rediculous she just shakes her head and says to me what she thinks the lady is
up to but i never post those comments here as to not offend anybody.  all i was saying is that we have talked this subject
to death i think everyone knows everyones feelings who have posted and its now their decision to invite or not

[Martin]

I would guess that if the guys quit inviting their ladies, that eventually, those that are coming around will quit.  For many of them, English is not an easy language for them to understand and comprehend.  The topics here get quite in-depth, and I could see that it would be quite difficult, if not boring for them to read after awhile.  They will probably quit coming.

As far as the women reading the official forums, and coming over here, I believe is a very unlikely scenario.  From what I know, the women don't often know of the official forum, or the official site.  Since these ladies are signing up with an agency that is "independent" of chnlove.com.  At least in the case of my wife, she was looking for someone...but I don't think she expected that this person would be a lao wai.  The women don't go to that site, and would really only find this site through their respective men, or through a web search.

[ttwjr32]

another good point Martin thats two in a row tonight your on a roll.:icon_cheesygrin:

i just think we have beat this dead horse long enough and just need to get back to
basics here and quit worrying about it. dont you agree? or anyone else?

[David5o]

Martin,

Those are my thoughts exactly, though there are quite a few ladies that have enough English to understand whats being said. Pretty pointless inviting your lady to view this site if they don't have any English!! ...haha!!

Quite agree with your thoughts on the official thread, ....It is the guy's themselves, that are inviting these ladies to this Forum. Like Ted and others here, i can't quite see the thought process or the logic behind doing that. They have obviously not given it much thought before doing this...

But, ... what we don't want is for the administration to pander to these ladies that would be crazy!!!

David...

[ttwjr32]

they feel the need to tell everything to the ladies there talking with??
now do you think they tell everything? i dont think so. something this harmless
or anything else is not worth bringing up to them. its not like this is another woman
but we have to live with some people who will do this

[ttwjr32]

ok Rob i guess you started it lol!!!! banned to your room again  lol!!!!!

[Scottish_Rob]

:huh: not again.....:huh::huh: