Hmmm, a lot of conflicting views here... well maybe this will help... I spoke to her again asking her what she meant.. and telling her I was very sad since only monday she sent me a nice card saying I was the true love in her life....
This is what she replied...
My heart really ache for making you feel so bad. You can totally trust my loyalty. I never thought I will have a second marriage ,so I'm pretty prudent to seek my soul mate and I do not fall in love easily when I said you can find another women ,you really think I'd like to let you go ? No, I said that because I'm afriad wait for me will make you miss the chance of meeting other women . I said that just in case you miss a great woman, if I love you ,I wish you can be happy . Since I don't know what my future will be ,let alone OUR future.
Yes,you are right ,if you want to make it happen ,you can make it happen .But can I just leave my parents and other family alone and fly to U.S. ? There are many practical things that I will take into consideration,such as your career and my career . I'm still struggling ,and I don't want to bother you by this and hurt you once more .
And sometimes I DO wonder if I'm the right woman for you , because we have never met and there are many sides you don't know about me .You see my kind side ,but don't see my ambitious side(besides that ,I'm stubborn sometimes),I don't know weather I can be a good wife if I'm so ambitious in career .I was thinking of join the army,you may think I'm insane ,but that is really what I'm thinking about . I want to strengthen my will by millitary training.I'm not sure if you can tolerate such a woman in your house. I want to assure this when we really meet .If we freeze this relationship for a while, then if you don't think I'm the right one for you when we meet , we won't feel so sad.
Dave,I don't mean I will give up on us,seriously I will try after I graduate when I have a chance to talk with you face to face. And I will not fall in love with any other man in this year ,because all of my concerntration is on postgraduate exams. But like I said ,I still don't want you to miss the chance to date a great woman .
Children's Day is 1st,June .I hope we can talk at that time .
Take care of yourself !
I already told her I would gladly move to China (Unfortunately I cant go right now since I just left work to go back to school myself, ironically to try and build a better life for us) since there seems to be a lot more work there for Flash/Web designers there then there is in the states... but i am guessing like Willy is the closest on what her intentions are (i think, I am a computer nerd so reading peoples intentions are sometimes difficult).
EDIT: I think maybe what throws me so much is the fact she wants me to look for another woman instead of waiting, (which I said I was willing to do) In western culture I would totally see this as a "Dear John" letter... but then she does a 180 and says she will look for me after a year... but with no contact? Very conflicting statements....