All About China > Understanding Chinese Women
Not sure what to make of this...
Zhuzhu:
Sometimes people think differently, but there IS such a way of thinking in relationship. She is very rational and her mind is kinda avant-garde.
We have to confess that physical relationship is as important as emotional relationship in a relationship. When in long distance relationships, all seems so weak. I think she is not so confident in this relationship. From your words, I guess she is still in school, so she will also have a lot of people to choose in the future. She also has to concentrate on her study. While you will also have many chances as you are in your country, not in China. She does not know what you are thinking about when you are not close to her. Many things could happen.
I do not think it is about a kind of loyalty, she is just not confident in this relationship or she is not well prepared for this international long distance relationship. She has many things to worry about.
Axiom:
Hmmm, a lot of conflicting views here... well maybe this will help... I spoke to her again asking her what she meant.. and telling her I was very sad since only monday she sent me a nice card saying I was the true love in her life....
This is what she replied...
My heart really ache for making you feel so bad. You can totally trust my loyalty. I never thought I will have a second marriage ,so I'm pretty prudent to seek my soul mate and I do not fall in love easily when I said you can find another women ,you really think I'd like to let you go ? No, I said that because I'm afriad wait for me will make you miss the chance of meeting other women . I said that just in case you miss a great woman, if I love you ,I wish you can be happy . Since I don't know what my future will be ,let alone OUR future.
Yes,you are right ,if you want to make it happen ,you can make it happen .But can I just leave my parents and other family alone and fly to U.S. ? There are many practical things that I will take into consideration,such as your career and my career . I'm still struggling ,and I don't want to bother you by this and hurt you once more .
And sometimes I DO wonder if I'm the right woman for you , because we have never met and there are many sides you don't know about me .You see my kind side ,but don't see my ambitious side(besides that ,I'm stubborn sometimes),I don't know weather I can be a good wife if I'm so ambitious in career .I was thinking of join the army,you may think I'm insane ,but that is really what I'm thinking about . I want to strengthen my will by millitary training.I'm not sure if you can tolerate such a woman in your house. I want to assure this when we really meet .If we freeze this relationship for a while, then if you don't think I'm the right one for you when we meet , we won't feel so sad.
Dave,I don't mean I will give up on us,seriously I will try after I graduate when I have a chance to talk with you face to face. And I will not fall in love with any other man in this year ,because all of my concerntration is on postgraduate exams. But like I said ,I still don't want you to miss the chance to date a great woman .
Children's Day is 1st,June .I hope we can talk at that time .
Take care of yourself !
I already told her I would gladly move to China (Unfortunately I cant go right now since I just left work to go back to school myself, ironically to try and build a better life for us) since there seems to be a lot more work there for Flash/Web designers there then there is in the states... but i am guessing like Willy is the closest on what her intentions are (i think, I am a computer nerd so reading peoples intentions are sometimes difficult).
EDIT: I think maybe what throws me so much is the fact she wants me to look for another woman instead of waiting, (which I said I was willing to do) In western culture I would totally see this as a "Dear John" letter... but then she does a 180 and says she will look for me after a year... but with no contact? Very conflicting statements....
rockycoon:
Go visit my man, get a plane ticket and go visit and do it soon (very soon) or you will loose this lady. She loves you
but is confused at this time. Go visit and streathen this relationship and then let her have her studies. Heck, she is even
talking military service now. That would be insult to injury or pouring salt on the wound. So go visit and show her that
you are the man of her dreams, then support her studies.
odysseus007:
I would go, if I were you, even if I have to put on a gangly tall blue Avatar with a cute tail :icon_cheesygrin:
Axiom:
really? I am not sure how I will put the money together... or if I even tell her I want to come if she will reply... but what the hey! I never met anyone like her before... anyone have an extra thousand dollars lying around? Its for a good cause! :icon_cheesygrin:
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