So, exactly why did I start looking for a Chinese wife?

[shaun]

Well I am sure this topic could easily become a hate thread for western women that is not my intent even though the first story I have are about western women.  But I thought it would be interesting to see why many of us are pursuing Chinese women.

I have seen posts here and there but I am thinking lets put them into one thread.

For me, I have many reasons, The first is because I have always liked Asian women.  I dated one while I was in college.  Walking away was a big mistake.  After a 27 year marriage fizzled out I decided that I did want to marry again but when I looked at the available western women it just turned my stomach.  The things they said about men, the things they would never do again, the things the would insist a man do... I didn't want to marry into a culture like that again.  I do not necessarily blame the women as much as I do the current culture we live in.

Don't get me wrong, there are good western women.  My concern at 55 was would I be able to find one.  I don't want to have to do this a 3rd time.  Having grown up in El Paso, Texas I first though I would pursue a Mexican woman.  But my store is next door to two different Korean women and both of them beautiful.  So I began searching on the internet and a dream was born.  I decided the most beautiful was Chinese and made the decision.

I have not regretted one day my decision to pursue a Chinese wife.  I have difficult and frustrating days but no regrets. Plus I'm 55 and I don't have to explain myself to anyone.    I have been accused of wanting a wife who bow to my every command and be a sex slave.  I generally do not respond to such comments.  A single female friend said that to me plus she said, "You know I don't think you can handles an American woman."  Because she is a friend my response was, "No it is because I do not want to handle an American woman."  She actually understood what I meant.

Every now and then something happens that reconfirms why I am looking for a Chinese wife.  The following is a discussion have happened on my facebook page.  The one who is called the Bitch and one other woman are both cousins of mine.  The others I do not know.  When I read it I thought this is exactly why I do not want an American wife.  Well kind of sort of...  but is is one of the reasons.

The last names and pictures have been removed;

Jess:   Dear Promotional Items sales dude who called me a bitch and hung up when I said we didn't need any promotional items at the moment: Your boss seems very nice and was very impressed by your sales technique when I talked to him. Love, the bitch.

Jr and 10 others like this.

Laura:   You rock! There is one guy who won't have a job soon...

Jr:    LMAO! Karma! What a ride!

David:    Unbelievable!

Kelly  A-B :   Atta girl!!

James :   Can i have his number too? I'd like to impress upon this gentleman how small of a world it is.

Laura:    go girl!!!!

Jess:   Absolutely. The sales dude's name is Kevin, who works for *** Industries. His boss, Mike, can be reached at ***-***-****. Mike seemed pretty horrified. Apparently Kevin had NO idea what kind of bitch he was calling.

Doug:    Hmmm...guess he didn't figure ANY radio stations would ever need promotional items...cause you know 1, you never hear about them giving stuff away with their name on it, and 2, they never talk to anyone.


Estelle:   good for you!!!


Robert:   Don't send a guy .. Beotch!! with turrets to do your cold calling! Awww--sheot! Radio peeps are the ultimate gypsies. That ship is sunk.


Jr:   Oh you mean THIS *** Industries http://www.*************.com/ the one a local bank probably uses to rent a One Arm Bandit Money Machine from? I'll have to tell them to about Mike. LOL!


Shawnta:   I think it is funny when they call women like us 'bitch'...  Oh honey, you haven't even remotely seen a 'bitch', but don't worry, we will show you, you'll see one.



Jess:   The thing is, he's right, I AM a bitch. Which means he should know better than to mess with me. I bet he knows now.


Jr:   Mmmmm...being assertive doesn't necessarily make one a bitch and besides, the customer is always right (even when they are wrong) hence, either way, it's his bad.

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It really makes you wonder.

Shaun

[brett]

Ha ha ha! I've had a few women post comments on my other articles about Asian ladies - they still seem to think Asian women work in fields and 21 year old Thais only marry 60 year old Western men.

Korean ladies are nice - there's one I might write to. I have 20 ladies I need to sort through at the weekend  .

No Chinese woman will put up anything dumb her man does, we all know that!

[Martin]

Good idea for a thread Shaun.  For myself, I saw many of the same things you did Shaun.  After having been married once, I was doing some dating.  But to be honest, I was less than impressed with the women out there.  And quite possibly, the women might not have been impressed with me either.  Having a young daughter, it was always important to me to find someone that Allison liked, and they liked her.  The women I was dating seemed to treat Allison like she was a burden to have around.  Ironically, one of them was a single mother with two children.

I did not purposely go looking to China to meet someone.  In fact, I was not actually looking for a wife.  I was on-line, and looking for something.  I can't remember what, when I stumbled into chnlove.com.  I created a profile, so I could look at all the ladies, and because somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew there could always be a possibility of meeting someone.

Like I said, I did not go out of my way to seek an Asian lady.  Although I find them particularly beautiful, I also see much beauty in other ethnic groups as well.  But my knowledge of Chinese culture was quite limited.  I had already been writing to Zhifang, but I was also doing research into the culture.  The more I learned, the more I was fascinated, and intrigued by the huge differences between Canadian (Western) women, and Chinese (Eastern) women.  So while my journey to finding and marrying a woman from China was more accidental, it is for the same reasons as you Shaun that I could never look back. 

[Arnold]

Yes Shaun .. good Thread to start .

Here is from my Blog , with this Post I had covered the exact same question to myself at that time and many other times .. why ?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Why did I select a chinese Woman , to be my Wife ?
 I know , I am not the only one too have ask that question , in the past . Why choose a Woman that lives halfway around the World , when there are plenty in my Hometown or a lot closer ? I , to start , have alway's liked the Chinese Culture and their very old and very interesting History , that stretches over many thousand of year's . So was alway's fascinated , whatever had to do with China , as a Child and now as an Adult . I never like our own ( german ) history , except the time when all those Castle's were build and their great story's , which of course some were very bloody then , but that was my biggest interest , when all those Knight's roamed the Countryside . World War I & World War II , was a very dark period in Germany and I really did not want to be part of it or to know much about it . Anyhow , back to why I wanted to choose a chinese Woman as a Wife . Actually , it was just a Dream that I had at first , what would it be like ? To really be married to such a beautiful Woman ? By that , I mean ... they are all so beautiful in their appearance , alway's that beautiful long black Hair and of course one must mention those gorgeous and intriqueing Eyes , that can almost hypnotize you and leave you speachless . So how did this dream turn into reality ? This is where Fate / Destiny comes in , like with a big boom one day , and behold , what comes on my TV screen ? Watching PBS , which is one of the Channel's I watch the most , I see the 12 Girl's Band's concert from Shanghai , right from below the Oriental Pearl Tower . Now , not only did the night scene of Shanghai , blow me away , but the Music of those Girl's was just to much to fill my Heart . Listening to these wonderful , most beautiful Women , playing their traditional chinese instrument's , I could do no less , then get a roundtrip Ticket to Shanghai , just two weeks after that concert . Mind you , that trip was in Honor of my first Wife , that passed away from Cancer . Those Ticket's were for May 6th '08 , which would have been our 30 th Anniversary . So , at that moment , I have not heared one work about Chnlove yet . This is when Fate / Destiny took over my Life so to speak and I followed it like a little Kid following his/her Mom , wherever she goes . At this time all I could think off , was how beautiful and talented those 12Girl's ( 13 actually ) were , that left me dreaming and picking two or three that I really had a crush on , like a teenager on his first Girl . That very moment , I decided and made up my Mind , that I would want a chinese Woman as my next Wife . Little did I know , that Fate was going to bring me to Qing eventually . Realizing , after getting to know Her really well , that these Women , are not just gorgeous on the outside , but even more beautiful on the inside . As a Man , that was just month's earlier moarning the loss of a equally wonderful Woman , I could not retain myself and wanted to just go out and scream how much I love that Woman , that I have met over the Internet . I could have kissed my Computer for what it had done for me . It opened up my Heart to a new Life , with the MOST lovely , nicest , warmhearted , soft voiced , brilliantly smart ( tri langual ) , tall and now my Wife / Lao Po / Tai Tai , my Shanghai Flower .
A chinese Wife , I would not want it any other way .

" Thank you Sweetheart , for making my Dream become a reality . "^_^"
*** I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAY'S , FOR IT ***
Posted by Shanghai MiFeng

[Neil]

It was a conscious decision for me to find a wife, not look for a girlfriend that might someday become my wife.  I dated a few ladies since my divorce but none were the type I wanted to marry.  In fact, most weren't even the type I'd want to introduce to my parents.  My next decision was to define what I wanted in a wife: respect, honor, love of course, a sense of duty (both to herself, her husband and possibly her career).  I realized that I wasn't going to meet any western women through a dating site that met any of those criteria.  The only place a woman like that exists is in a church in the west and I'm not a very religious person.  The ladies on dating sites that are my age are either single for a reason (unattractive, unlovable, flawed) or are divorced with children (usually divorced for a good reason and I didn't want to raise another man's children since I'm still paying support for my own). 

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and was blown away by the beauty of the Chinese actresses.  Another I watched was Hannibal -the story of his childhood - he fell in love with his uncle's widow (a gorgeous Chinese woman).  I loved their sense of duty and honor and their grace and elegance. 

One night I saw an ad for Chnlove on Facebook with some pictures of beautiful Chinese ladies.  I was intrigued enough to click the link and the rest is history. 

[Bee964]

Good thread Shaun.

Shaun, Martin, and anybody else,

That pretty much is the same reason for me too. I was a team leader at the auto plant I worked in and I had 8 women and 4 men on my team. I would just sit and listen to everybody talking during lunches and breaks. The things the women said about their husbands and men in general sometimes,..... kept me from trying to date any western women. I did have a couple dates with 3 different women and I just did not want to get back into another relationship with a woman like my ex. Most of the available women I saw had the attitude that men owed them something. That is not a good way to start off a relationship. And yes, I said most, not all. A very good female friend of mine has this very attitude. When she found out my ex and I had separated she approached me and asked me if I had ever thought of a relationship with her. I said yes and told her that I realized it would not work and politely explained my reason. I think I told her her personality was too strong. I don't remember exactly. She understood though and dropped the subject. I did not want to risk ruining a friendship of almost 50 years.

When I started to bring pictures of the woman I was corresponding with into work, most of the women I worked with all had the same attitude, "Can't you handle a western woman?" I would just not respond. You Canadian guys know our labour relation laws and I was not going to get fired for saying something wrong. There were some women there that just lived for getting guys into trouble with labour relations. We used to have a "special personal absence" week off with pay. One woman on her spa week had implants done. When she came back to work she called the labour relations department and complained about everybody staring at her. I think she had gone up 3 cup sizes, if I remember right. It was at least 2 sizes up. She had come to work with a tight fitting top on that showed lots of cleavage.  She was not too well endowed to start with. I just thought to myself, if you did not want anybody to stare why did you get them done?

Some of the guys I worked with have asian wives. When they found out that I was looking at dating asian women they all said to go for it. I would never regret my decision. One couple even worked together at the plant. I liked their interaction when they were together.

I was doing about the same thing Martin was doing. I was surfing the net one night on my daughters laptop. The touch pad is very sensitive to the touch and it clicked on the link to chnlove. I had no intention of going there but then just before I  clicked on back, I had started to read the page and it caught my attention. I have always been fascinated by 2 cultures, ancient Egypt and China. I never dated an asian woman. I knew a little bit of what chinese women were like. I knew a little of the culture too. I saw that there was no charge to put up a profile and thought "what the heck.... lets see what happens". I had put up a profile on another free dating web site and thought that I would give it a couple days to see if I get contacted by any women. I had looked at a lot of profiles the night I put mine up and was surprised at how good the older chinese women look. Yes, I knew right away that almost all of the photos were professional. My sister was a photographer. a close friend of mine is a professional photographer, he also taught photography at the local collage here about 20 years ago. I have read enough photography books and articles on the subject that I knew that these women probably did not look as good in real life as their profile photos were. But still I was impressed at how good they looked. Well anyways, when I checked back to see if there was any women that had contacted me I was surprised to see how many had! 23 or 24 admirer letters to sort through. When I would look at their profiles and photos, I thought to myself, this is the route my life is going to take from now on.

I knew that there may be women out there that may be just looking for a "sugar daddy" or a "green card". I would just have to sort through them all and try to weed them out. The most recent one that I thought was genuine I went to meet and found that she was not as she described herself as and she had lied to me on a couple things. I had asked her if she had a computer and she said no. On our second date she pulls a laptop computer out of her purse. There is more to this but that is for another thread sometime. Not a good way to start off a relationship. She was living in Singapore and the agency she had contracted through was in Shenzhen. I had no visa to go to china so I was left with a vacation in Singapore. I did meet some nice people there.

I have recently reactivated my profile on CHN and have been getting admirer letters from women again. Most of these women are younger than I want, 32, 35... with the oldest so far at 47. I tried an experiment lastnight to see if my guess was right. I responded to a woman that is 39 years old and she is beautiful. (too young for me though) Something in her letter to me said that it was not her writing. Also the responce back did not address one crucial, very important question. I had asked her if she would be wanting to have children. She does not have children and she was married. I had the question in a separate paragraph so it would not be missed. This tells me it is a translator responding and ignoring the question. I do not think she would ignore a question about kids. I wanted to see if I had learned from my mistake before. I feel I have and I think that I am ready to try again.
 
I also have put up a profile on CLL. I had a couple weeks of chatts as well as web cam sessions with a 42 year old woman. It comfirmed what I thought of chinese women and I knew that it is my destiny now. At some time in the future, I will be married to a chinese wife. The dedication and determination this woman showed me was beyond my wildest dreams! Too bad it did not work out with her. (she wanted me to come meet her at a time that I just could not do. she got upset with me for this and we have not spoken for some time now)

I want to be married again. I want to love a woman and be loved by a woman. I know that it will be with an asian woman. I just have to find the right one. 

Dave C

[daghoi]

For me it was something that developed during the years. To be honest I have been attracted by the looks of Asian woman since years back, more elegant and feminine than their western “sister’s”. After I matured I met some trough mutual friends and started to realize how strong their family values are and hard working they were (at least most of them).  These are qualities I appreciate more and more with the years. In some way’s I probably have stronger ties to my family than most of my friends. My nephew has lived with me for the last 12 years and I have raised him alone. My old father lives a few kilometers away from me and both my nephew and I visit him regularly. These things come natural for me. When I talk to a Norwegian woman they are very “impressed” by this, but (most) of them are far from able to commit to things like that. When I meet people from Asian culture they do understand these things and many have similar experiences from their own families.  How I ended up on chnlove I do not remember

[Bee964]

This comic strip pretty well sums it up. It just so happens that it was in todays paper too.

[Willy The Londoner]

Simple Question, Simple Answer - ran out of women in Europe!! 

Willy

[seagull]

Another I watched was Hannibal -the story of his childhood - he fell in love with his uncle's widow (a gorgeous Chinese woman).  I loved their sense of duty and honor and their grace and elegance.

I think you might be referring to Gong Li. One of the most famous Chinese actresses and an absolute stunner even in her mid 40s! But I think she shows how gorgeous Oriental women can still look in this age group, something which is rare with Westerners.

[Neil]

Yep, that's her.  Stunning.

[shaun]

For fun every now and then I will go out to another dating site just to see what I am missing in my area.  Since it is free I will go outt ot POF.  SO here is the cute, shoulder length bottle blonde, and a little over weight.  I mean if I were looking I might be interested in until I read her profile:

Normal woman looking for an attractive normal guy!!

Match: sincerely interested in getting to know me, outgoing, witty, educated, likes to travel, great handy man, great kisser, 42 - 52, salt & pepper hair, blue eyes, 5'8" - 6'1", likes country music, older kids, and if I could have everything....wants to take me around the world when my kids finish school in 3 years.

Just not going to work for me: married, self centered. shallow, unemployed, no ambition, can't kiss, tootheless, thick beard, skin and bones, beached whales, lack of personality, arrogant, talks non stop about himself or his work, smoker, heavy drinker, tobacca chewer, peircings, likes to live in the country to get away from people, wears nothing but jeans, idea of a great night out is Murrays in West Columbia, child support broke, world REVOLVES around hunting, fishing, nascar, running with the boys or clubs, works night shift, works and lives 2+ hrs away.....stay tuned for more. Yes I am picky.....stay tuned for more. Yes I am pickey

Idea of first date:  Well, it's not going to be your place or mine But either coffee, lunch or dinner is fine ....... Ha...I'm a poet!

I am so tempted to write back to her.  I mean I agree with some of what she says but dang; you can't be unemployed, have no ambition, child support broke, or a hard worker by working the night shift OR far away from home.

I am thinking of sending her a text message that says; "and your profile is why Chinese women rock."  But then again why even waste my time because she wouldn't understand.

Like I said, This site isn't really about running western women down but I just loved this profile.

[Bee964]

Shaun,

I have not been to POF in what seems like forever! All the women I met through that site wanted to know when I get my Harley. That tells me what type they are and no thanks. There were some real "flakey" ones too. I stopped going to that site months ago. I wonder if I got any mail?

Dave C

[shaun]

Dave C,

 I hate to say this but I go there when I need a good laugh.  It isn't the women so much as it is the goofy stuff they say.  Plus I like to see what my single co-workers are saying.  It's funny because I we are all sitting around talking I will drop one of the lines from their post and watch for their reaction.  It is hilarious.  Would I try to go out with one of the women on POF if I didn't have Peggy?  Nope.

Shaun

[rockycoon]

Hey Segull, why did you post a picture of my girlfriend?....LOL LOL