Author Topic: Input requested  (Read 2406 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Noct

  • Guest
Input requested
« on: May 19, 2009, 12:21:24 am »
I'd love the input of the experienced members of the site on my situation.  I have been talking to this girl for just over two weeks now exclusively.  We get along famously so far, and our letters have been lengthy and very nice.  She's been pretty affectionate through the letters, which put me on my guard a bit, but there have not been any of the trappings or signs of it being a come-on or scam like I've read here.  She answers and asks lots of questions in each letter, has sent me a personal photo, and speaks the same way in each letter.  In my last letter, I asked for a personal e-mail/chat name, and we are currently on MSN chatting up a storm.  Her English is excellent, and we're having fun.  She does seem a bit persistent, however,  in asking if I'm going to come to China, and how soon.

Does it seem like its moving too quickly to an outsider, or does it seem natural?  I like her quite a bit, and am considering making the trip, but part of me is also telling me to slow down and be cautious.  Any input or opinions from you guys would be much appreciated!

Offline maxx

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,363
  • Reputation: 13
RE: Input requested
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2009, 12:39:30 am »
2 weeks is really fast.I think I would slow it down a little.And really try to get to know the women.I would try to go for the web cam chat.And see how that plays out.

Arnold

  • Guest
RE: Input requested
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2009, 01:21:02 am »
Noct , I also think Maxx is right . Two weeks is too soon . Tell her you need to save for the Trip or your Work will not allow you to go that soon . You know , hold her off in a nice way . Why the rush ? you not going anywhere , so is she . Get to know her better first , and thing's will go so much smoother , when the time comes to meet . But nothing wrong with buying ticket's in advance , to make her feel you mean it and are for real .

Offline China Shark

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 284
  • Reputation: 0
RE: Input requested
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2009, 01:32:36 am »
Great advice Arnold. When I was getting close to leave for China I purchased my ticket and took a picture of the boarding pass and sent it in one of the emfs. It gave her the reassurance that I was for real and I'de be there soon enough. Maxx and Arnold are right slow it down so both of you are sure when you are actually face to face. Also, if you are worried about your girl having to pay a large meeting fee send the pix of the ticket through private email or show it on webcam. Keep the agency in the dark otherwise they will charge you girl a small fortune just to meet you. Direct contact has great advantages in avoiding the sleazy behavior that some of the agencies partake in. It sounds good though, good luck and I hope it works out.
China Shark Mike
Living life the way it should be. Following the path less traveled!!!!!!!!!

Offline Danny

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 402
  • Reputation: 0
RE: Input requested
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2009, 06:28:44 am »
Yes I think two weeks is too soon. But I don't think it hurts to tell her about what you have in mind if things work out.

I can imagine the women on the site get a fair amount of runaround from guys who are just not serious about settling down.

I don't think it hurts to write to a woman who is serious about wanting to find a good man, and do it sooner rather than later.

I think a cold fish, who can take you or leave you, is probably something you don't really want. I sure don't.

I don't want to wait years: too slow. I don't want to wait days or weeks: too fast. Some months, is just like baby bear's porridge: just right!

Noct

  • Guest
RE: Input requested
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2009, 11:38:32 pm »
Thank you for all the excellent advise, guys.  I am definitely not planning on going there anytime soon, so no worries there.  The chatting is nice, and better than the emfs, so that's a bonus.  I will try to let her know gently that things need to move at their own pace and not to rush anything.

Offline wilsonlee71

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 14
  • Reputation: 0
RE: Input requested
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2009, 01:07:41 am »
My take on this is it all depends on her age and situation. Try to understand what her rush is … if it is legitimate and you really like her, then maybe you should go a bit sooner. Just follow your heart, if it is telling you not to go yet, then you’re simply not ready. There is nothing wrong with that, except you might lose her in the process!
One more thing, at anytime if and when you feel she is not the one, then tell her and let her go ...
-W-
« Last Edit: May 20, 2009, 01:08:26 am by wilsonlee71 »

Offline UK Mark

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 97
  • Reputation: 0
RE: Input requested
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2009, 08:47:15 am »
I have to agree with Vince here , I was once in a relationship where if the girl didn't get her way she ''took things straight to the limit'' as in flew off the handle and wanted to end it on a regular basis!!!, trust me thats a strain after a while .. In the end i saw sense and let her !!!

Long distance relationships need a hell of a lot of patience and understanding .. I think its important you both can feel the other is very understanding of the situation straight from the start.

When it feels right for BOTH OF YOU.... get there as soon as you can :)
Dreams can come true

Offline wilsonlee71

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 14
  • Reputation: 0
RE: Input requested
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2009, 10:38:15 am »
Vince, I am just trying to offer a different angle on this. Maybe she does have good a reason. Those words were not meant as scare tactics, but simply the possible outcome. We are not talking about dominance here, just a little understanding …
-W-

--------------------------
I am not saying that Noct has anything to do with/is doing anything like this example here, but … I have seen friends of mind being with a girl taking his time, while her clock is ticking away … at the end dump the girl for someone younger. Now, I think all of you would agree with me that that is not right, right?
« Last Edit: May 20, 2009, 12:45:45 pm by wilsonlee71 »