An article enlighten-what is"love"

[chen yan]

[/size]I was reading an dialogue from Jiddu Krishnamurti (K)and his student (Q).Jiddu Krishnamurti was a unique spiritual figure from India. We has seen the torture of love, the dependence on it, the fear of it, the loneliness of not being loved and the everlasting seeking of it in all kinds of relationships, never finding it to one's complete satisfaction. This article enlighten us that only when our mind is really quiet, when the heart is no longer hope, request, demand, pursuit,dominate, possess, dependence, jealousy, fear, anxiety,  Not to self-centered, love will come. on the contrary ,If above symptoms exsit,then it is not love.So we donn't need to search it deliberately,just let it happen natruelly,becaue love is free from thought
I just feel I need to share it with brothers. I hope it also could help other people who are still on the way to search love  could aware what is block you on the way is your own heart.

k: is love the activity of thought? I love you. I really do. Isn't it strange!

Q: ...some of us do not know love.

K: How sad it is. Somebody,

And we are asking,  Is love the activity of the senses? Is love the activity of desire? Please find out, investigate in your life. When you are controlled, when your sex becomes all important, which is the activity of the senses.

Q: We have to be aware of this activity then.

K: One has to be aware sir, but first know the nature of one's mind. Through awareness you can discover this, that means you have to look at it, look at your desires, the sensory desires. Wanting food, the taste of food, the compulsive eating food of a certain kind because it tastes nice, exercising a certain capacity of the eyes, optical, seeing something always, or the sensory responses of sex. These are the dominant factors in our life and you are trying to move away from that.

And love is free from thought. Love is not the product of thought. If it is, it is still part of desire, obviously. So love is independent, is free from all the activities, and chicanery, dishonesty, desires, sensations, sex. That is not love. Where love is, the 'me' is not. Obviously. The 'me', the ego, with all its arrogance, conceits, aggressiveness, humility, pretension to humility, rather, all that is the ego. What has that got to do with love?

So love is beyond thought. Then what is the relationship between meditation and love? When one deliberately, purposefully, actively participates in the so-called meditation, that meditation leads to illusion, and that illusion has no relationship with love.

[David E]

Beautiful words ChenYan

Philosophers and Scholars have been trying to define this emotion we call "love" for Centuries...and I dont think they have really found a complete understanding even now....maybe this is a good thing...let the mystery of love continue, let the definition be lost in the mist of experience and may we never have to define love to a point where it can go in a dictionary !!!

I will give you another definition of love which I read in a Scientific Journal.........

"What possibly could tempt a Man and a Woman to bring an infant into the World, forego most of their own pleasures as a result, work harder and harder to feed, clothe and educate this child for nearly 20 years ??

If procreation was left as a Logistics exercise, the very thought of the long road ahead and the hardships we would need to endure would surely spell the end of the Human race...nobody would ever breed as a result of a cool, calculated assessment of the physical act of sex !!!!

Therefore, Mother Nature gets very cute with us.......she prepares us for parenthood with a bath of the "stay at home and breed" hormone...Oxytocin.

When a couple get together in a relationship, there is an immediate release of the Endorphin hormones which makes us feel good. Feeling good leads to intimacy and ultimately to sex....sex between a couple leads to the release of Oxytocin that overrides logic in the breeding cycle".

Humans 0...Mother Nature 1    !!!!

So there is always two sides to this question...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:....what is love ....I think I prefer your version, but then.............

David

[odysseus007]

Haha David,

You remind me of the Monty Python skit, "Logic vs Sex".

:icon_cheesygrin:

[shaun]

The problem as I see it is that there are too many variables withing the equation of love.  There are many types of love.

There are many perspectives to love.  In current thought there are a group of people that say love has boundaries while another group will say there are no boundaries.

My favorite definition comes from the Christian Bible.  I do realize this is not the religion section but please humor me.  It is a good definition.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself; is not puffed up; does not behave rudely; thinks no evil; does not rejoice in moral wrong doing, but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

There is more but it would have to be a compilation of the whole Bible.  This is a simple concise definition in one passage of the Bible.  I have changed a few words to keep from having to explain the concept.

I try to apply that to everything I think I love.  I do know that since I started speaking with Peggy that each aspect of this definition has been tested.  It will be tested almost every day especially the patient and kind part.  It is easy for me to be kind if I am getting what I want but patience is not easy for me.

I hope this adds to the discussion that Chen Yan has started.  Thank you for posting it  Your contribution is very nice.

[UK Mark]

Thoughful Thread..

To me love is a combining of two hearts , two souls .. I no longer feel as one person but half of two .. incomplete without the other .. Needing or desiring no riches or fame .. wanting only to be with my love .. happiness is just being with the one that completes you ..

'I' has gone , replaced with 'we'

In this sense Sissi is my first love ..  she is my faith , my guide , my strength and my weakness

[Arnold]

Love is patient and kind; It is easy for me to be kind if I am getting what I want but patience is not easy for me.

Patience : This is something .. before I started this Quest for a chinese Wife .. I had , well let's say a little of . Through two years of having to wait for the ' NEXT ' trip to be with my Wife on four occation's , this really not only tested my Patience .. but improofed it tremendously . As I have learned , Qing does not have  my kind of Patience .. so I do remind her that , have you forgotten what all our waiting has taught you ? So being Patient is a big step away from being selfish , which of course improof's the Love to other Person in your Life .. and I don't mean just your Wife / GF .

Kindness : Now this is something most of us have build-into our character as we grow up , but it also can be learned through other People's kindness ( especially the Parent's ) . Which of course is Love towards your fellow Man / Woman .
Kindness and Patience as mentioned together , is because they do go hand in hand .. where if your missing one .. most likely then not .. there will a lack of the other too .

So to truely Love someone , these two are of up-most importance to showcase in your character to find True Love .

Now True Love is pretty much what Mark posted above , which of course comes in different degree's . I think , I can truely say .. this is what I'm enjoying right now with my Wife . As she has turned me into a Person even better then my first Wife did .. if that was possible I thought ? Well it did and for that .. yes you guessed it .. I Love her more . Love is truely a beautiful CIRCLE ( like the Ring's one wear's from the other ) it comes around and you give it right back and it completes the Circle all over again .. better each time .

[Irishman]

Its a really interesting topic. Sunny asked me once, why do people fall deeply in love?
At the time I mumbled something about looking after kids and biological needs.

I am not sure I still really understand it, all I can say for sure is it feels really good and I hope to stay in love with her :heart::icon_cheesygrin:

[chen yan]

I glad to see the discussion here.I just feel love is not a desire,oppositely,love make you want to give. Love make you grow a better person.When you find the right one you will feel satisfied and complete.You wonn't trade it for anything. Against the spirit of love there is no law.

[victor-hills]

What love is well for me and like most have sead is the feeling of being incomplete without the other or wanting only to be with the one you love and knowing someone really well that words dont have to be sead just that look,oneday ill find that woman lol

[JimB]

I think love is  putting that person before self in all things.  That is the simplest way I can think of to put it.  My wife is first before me, my kids are first before me, my granddaughter is first before me.  If you dont do that. it is not love.  I know my wife loves me as she puts me first in all things.  She thinks of me first before doing anything.  My ex wife always put herself first.    That is sad considering we were married for 30 years.  I did not fully understand what adult true love was until I met Gina.  I did not know what it truly felt like to be loved this way.  Maybe it is a cultural thing, but I dont think so. I see my daughter do it for her husband and I see him doing it for her.  She waited until she was 30 before she found him.  When she found him, she knew in the first 10 minutes and so did he.  It is a long story but my daughter and granddaughter lived with my ex and I until she actually met Bobby.  She was there during our divorce, which was the hardest thing i have ever gone through.  My sister was angry with my daughter for leaving me during this time, but I wasnt.  I told her that if she knew he was the right one and she could be happy with him.  Dont wait just do it.   She moved 6 hours away.  Taking my granddaughter with her.  That was a triple blow at the time.  Because my granddaughter was/is  truly the light of my life.  All she had to do was ask and she received.  At five years old, she had two horses, a bicycle and a four wheeler.  Whenever my daughter wanted something, she would tell my granddaughter to go ask grandpa for this or that.  She got it.  But, my granddaughter knows what is what.  She told me she knows she is spoiled. But it is in a good way, because she knows it is out of love.  My 9 year old granddaughter is smarter and more savvy than most adults I know.  I know this is a little off track but it all pertains to love.  The other night my granddaughter came out of the blue and said she was lucky to have the best grandparents.  I asked her why she thought that.  She said a lot of grandparents would not have taken care of her and Momma because she wasnt married to her daddy.  And so Momma got to go to school and she (Kira) got to be spoiled.  We did that because of love and look what it has given me in return a beautiful happy daughter and a granddaughter second to none.  A granddaughter who knows and understands what love is.   I feel that in the later part of my life, I am getting the love I wished for my whole life.  Even with all of the problems in my life right now, I am blessed because of this.  I have a wife, a daughter, a son and a granddaughter who truly love me. What more could one ask for.

[chen yan]

I have a wife, a daughter, a son and a granddaughter who truly love me. What more could one ask for.

JimB you are a lucky man !

[chen yan]

I want to share an awakening articel from a book I was reading resently,Kinda long ...


You said you love him/her.
If he/she is angry, you donn't know what injuries he /she sufferered, what places are stung ,so as to use anger to cover up their wounds or repel each other on thier own injury.
If he/she is despereate, You donn't know how much setbacks he/she expericens,how hard he/she make efforts,how many his/her expectations dashed,
how much frustration, helplessness,powerlessness he/she accumulated.
If he/she is heart-breaking, you do not understand his/her loss,disillusion and persistent extinguished.
If he/she fears, You donn't understand the course of his life had experienced repeated injury...
Then "who" you love ?

Answers to these questions, "who" are projected by the experience of your life, you think a good, appropriate object, and then you put your dreams projected onto the screen, with such an impression to search a match with the screen image ,saying something like I hope he /she is ...he/she can... the person who is  the more consistent , the more you are attracted. In order to maintain, operate this close relationship, They both try hard to use a keen psychological whiskers to detect  each other preferences,strive to become each other's ideal love.
Of course, They will feel more and more difficult, and the relations which you promote more efforts  become more vulnerable, because the internal reality of their own to be hided further, afraid his presence would jeopardize the relationship .

If you donn't touch a person's inner world, with sincere,honest truly interactive,but just to get a good impression on each other, each transformed into a film,the novel's male and female, , rather than be yourself. So when you think that love arises,is it love?
what you love is the dream.The other in order to get your love  has become a dream character. Genuine him did not be loved by you.
You are the same,Not being loved! Your  genuine self doomed to get injuries in this so-called love.
Becaue your love donn't have the living space of real self.

If you do not want to understand each other on the back of your dissatisfaction with the bumpy background and experience, ignoring the true thought of this people , it is not called "love" ,because you only love  your own feelings.
 The so-called you deep in love, it just deep in your own feeling.
You have been longing for a friend, you have been missed him(her), or have been thinking about him (her) benefit, you get deeper with the sub-effort by your heart ,then you think you are deep in love.  This situation is the  self hypnosis ,You want to impose a dream lover on him/her.  in fact, you do not want to like the real party,you do not want to know the truth condition deep inside him/her.

This is the problem many men and women face , So pls truely show yourself, whatever you think it is positive or negative, but also encourage and invite the other truely showed himself, whatever positive or negative, Then it has the possibility of love.

The truly wise, blessings of the spouses or companions who will understand that conflict is just as real relationships open the door, let you know after the romance, fantasy, passion subsided, is the real beginning of love; prepared by live ordinary real life every day, face the daily chores, is the true taste of love

[RobertBfrom aust]

Chen Yan , very heavy , but very true , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Paul Todd]

Love is the power in the center of your soul,
that makes you feel needed and wanted and whole.
It is the force within that heals the wounds of life,
that eases your anguish and lessens your strife.
It's giving and caring and kindness and sharing,
it's trusting each other and never comparing.


Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. ~ Joan Crawford