Do you agree with Chinabounder on this?

[Crystal Tao]

One time I already tried to ask this question, but somehow the discussion very quickly switched to personality.
That is, I found a curious statement in Chinabounder's "Sex and Shanghai" blog and wanted to get feedback on the statement, but people more commented on Chinabounder himself.

Okay... here it goes. In between the stories of how he seduces Chinese girls, Chinabounder likes to philosophize a bit about this and a bit about that.
IN the post called "White Woman and Chinese Woman" he tries to explain why some Western men prefer Chinese women over Western women.

Here I will quote Chinabounder himself (since no matter what I think about his writings contents, his writing style is worth to envy):

It’s not just the fact Chinese woman is slender, slinky and easy, though all that is powerful. It’s not the fact that as Chinese woman grows older she still looks good (though nonetheless we will, if not too tightly married, still change her for a younger model), whereas white woman’s hips spread, tits sag, and skin sinks: it is not just that.
And it is not at all (for me, at least) to do with subservience, pliancy. I hear it said that many white guys want a woman who will cook and clean for them. Not me: I find that attitude rather offensive. That is not something I look for in a woman.
It is -- perhaps most importantly – the fact that Chinese woman is not from our culture and does not, in general, understand all the nuances and subtleties of our language and our behavior.
Now, sure, true love, two hearts beating as one, perfect understanding, total communication and all that stuff. Fu... that; that is not what guys want. This is pure horror to us; we most emphatically do not want a woman sharing every aspect of our lives, seeing into us, knowing us.
Dating someone from another culture gives us a safety zone, a barrier, so that we can keep our lives, our sense of self, our secrecies. Chinese woman will never be able to read us like white woman, and that is why we want her.

Is there truth in his words? Are men indeed horrified to live with a woman who understands them and knows them (including all their weaknesses)?
I would appreciate an honest answer...

[Neil]

This guy is creepy and a slime.  He definitely does not represent an average western male. 

Misunderstandings between cross culture relationships are a hurdle to overcome, not a benefit - in my opinion.  That said, having many things to learn about each other can be a real bonding exercise and it could help keep the relationship fresh for longer.  Mystery is a good thing.  Secrets and deception are not.

Slender, slinky and easy?!?  Not words I would use.  Slim and petite, sure.  I don't think many of us want an easy woman either.  This is probably the most difficult path to finding a lover there is. 

[shaun]

No Crystal that is not true.  Looking at this forum I think you find something much different than what Chinabounder is talking about.  Our reasons for looking for a Chinese wife differs from man to man.  Yes we are looking for a lot of similar qualities but there are differences.

I think one or two of the reasons western men look after being married to a western woman is that we think Chinese women are more  accepting of who we are as we are.  Secondly I think most of would agree that Chinese women are team players, most western women are into the marriage for themselves and not the team.

Gee Neil, do you have an opinion on this guy?

[Chong]

That guy's an idiot; he thinks he's too macho. IMHO, he's very arrogrant. He's only after a 'roll in the hay'. Actually, a strong Chinese woman would set him straight. He would run away. He wants to be the dominating person in his relationship. By his comments, he has no consideration for his partner. I want my wife to understand me completely and myself with her.

BTW, his writing style is not that great. His grammar needs improvement also.

[Philip]

I can't give you an honest answer about the reasons why all Western men are attracted to Chinese women. There are as many answers as there are men and women. The whole article is dishonest, provocative and meaningless, and I'm sure totally unrepresentative of even the author's opinion, ignoring the part where he seems to want to speak for all men. "Hey guys, it's not about the sex, it's about man's need for their own space." That's probably a line he uses when he wants to dump his latest conquest. "Babe, it's not you, it's me. You're beautiful, sexy, and subservient, but I need some alone time right now, so zaijian."
He can't co-opt me into his specious, juvenile theorising. Speaking for myself (and I can only do that), my wife understands me like no-one else. It's impossible and pointless for me to escape intimacy with her, emotionally and physically, and why would I? I am exactly where I want to be. It's rather a strange action, don't you think,  to travel across the the world to be with someone and then refuse to be close and refuse to share our lives. It's like travelling to the moon, and then saying, "actually, I don't really want to make that step onto the surface." I hope that my wife and I understand each other more, not less, share more, not less.
I suggest that the author has serious intimacy and commitment issues. Perhaps we should leave him alone with his self-justifying  fantasies. I think the rest of us are busy learning Chinese, careful to avoid misunderstandings, trying every avenue to communicate with our wives, via webcam, email, EMF, phone,  translator and face-toface meetings, so that we can be closer, not farther apart from the women we are not afraid to say that we love.

[Vince G]

As for myself, there is no truth to it. For me western women have become Unfeminine. That's my main reason for looking elsewhere. As for understanding, communication, sharing our lives, knowing us, yes I do want this no matter what the culture.

[Scottish_Rob]

For myself.  I was marries for 26 years, but lived with her for 30 years, and had 4 children together.
After this length of time you would think you would know someone pretty well.  Same sad story as many western men, wife played away, so ended up getting divorced.

I have been speaking to my lady since February 15th of this year, and I feel more relaxed (than I was) and feel we KNOW more about each other, wants, needs, desires, than I ever knew about my ex wife, or what she knew about me.

I found my lady although sincere and a little bit aprehensive in the beginning of our relationship, however, as we grew closer, BOTH of us have opened up to each other more.  I find it fascinating when speaking with her learning everything about her, her family, her values, and customs.  She to me is a true soul mate

although I have not read that guy's Blog, I think he is a jerk...

[Chet Sams]

I would assume the poster child that said this is a younger generation. I am sure the older generations know by now the needs and wants each other would want.

I personally would not mind a lady to know my strengths and weaknesses. As so would i like to know of hers. And build off that to make a better relationship. The post just seems either like the person just wants to make a bad image for people. Or this person just overall had a bad experience and wishes to keep it that way.
But i am sure all of us enjoy a equal relationship and to enjoy life with another of the same craziness, feelings, thoughts. Just makes life easier to deal with. IMO

OH one last thing. Chinabounder = Brett hehehe.

[ttwjr32]

i dont think you can generalize why a man looks elsewere for a lady to marry. many men look to other countries such as
Mexico,South America,Japan,Philipines so i wouldnt say we just look in China.

it would be interesting as you can see by all the dating sites and marriage sites on the internet that they are from all parts of the
world and what are the percentages of members in each site that are from the western counrtries and which sites have the most
members and most active members.

to generalize this like he did with no basis of fact is ludicrous and unfounded and rediculous

Crystal you seem to like to pull surveys and gather information that i guess you are going to use someday whether in an article
or blog here is an interesting project that you might want to embark on and report the statistics on these web sites now that would
be an interesting read.

but to generalize as he did that the chinese lady is far better than all other races of women is a pretty broad statement to make and
based on what?? as we are all aware of there are the good with the bad in all races of women and for those of us who have chinese
wives or girlfreinds we chose to do this based on unsuccessful attempts at home to find a lady and decided to see what is on the other
side.

its all about finding happiness and success   not trying to find a servant or because of some of the reasons he wrote  hell there are still
millions of people looking for this in each of their respective countries with people from their countries

i would be interested in knowing were his blog is as i would like to read it and try to see were he is from and see what kind of information
he is trying to sell on his blog

as far as IS A MAN AFRAID TO LIVE WITH A WOMAN WHO UNDERSTANDS THEM AND KNOWS THEM -----

well isnt the biggest part of being in a relationship about COMMUNICATION,SHARING, COMMITMENT ?? these enable you to know the person
and understand the persons hopes,dreams,fears,desires,likes,dislikes 

would you really want a relationship like a lot have here in China were the man works pays for everything and keeps the rest then goes out and about doing whatever he wants to do and the woman does what she wants thats not a relationship to me that is two people were one has an assistant and the other has a security blanket. i dont know what the percentages are for this type here but i would venture to say
that it probably leans more to the extreme than the other way.

just my thoughts on what he is trying to say and the reasons for why we are here

[Josh Markley]

No what this guy said is pure crap.  He is giving his own male chauvinistic view of what him and his dumb *ss friends think.  This is why so many good chinese girls are hesitant to date another forieghner.  These guys ruin it for the good western men out there.  For me I want my wife to know everything about me, and I want to know everything about her. 

[Jason B]

For me I want my wife to know everything about me, and I want to know everything about her. 

I totally agree, every relationship is a two way street.  You have to meet on somethings half way sure, no matter what you will never agree on everything 100% of the time.  If I wanted someone like that I guess I would have to clone myself.

If you do not have anything to hide what CAN you be afraid of.  If the truth is not good enough then what is?

The guy who wrote this is trying to cover is short comings IMHO.

[Crystal Tao]

The interesting conclusion that I make for myself is that mature online communities tend to attract similarly minded people. And this forum seems to be a community of nice gentlemen (which, however, is far from being representative  ).