I do find this post to be somewhat ignorant of the facts. Yes she is young (so am I), yes she is very beautiful...but no I am not only interested in her for her looks...and to infer that I am is way off base. If I were so shallow than I would not waste my time here asking about Chinese gold-diggers now would I ?
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Sorry of you think I am overboard on my reply, but seriously if your going to act like an ass, jump to wild conclusions and insult me expect to get it back. If you can address the question in a respectable manner and offer some words of advice than I greatly appreciate your time and efforts.
I apologise if you feel that I insulted you.
Firstly, I did not say your lady was childish nor a child, but "somewhat childlike" and my reference was to a particular part of her behaviour that you were disturbed about, that is, pushing your boundaries to see what you would tolerate. I did not mean to imply that she had a childish personality overall. I had used a common example of children pushing boundaries to explain her behaviour at the time. It just meant that as you have also concluded, that in certain areas, she has maturity issues. I certainly did not imply that you were childish in any way.
I also said that in the end, I think you will get what you expect. Your expectations do not seem that high. After 7 months of letters, then finally seeing her, only just over a week ago, you wrote "As for marriage....well, that's still the big question and while that is the ultimate goal, I am still not so sure that she is the one ~ but I do hope." You also asked about divorce settlements at this stage. I understand your legal concerns, but what I said was part of a few comments, not just that one. What your expectations are is entirely up to you.
Also, I did not say nor imply that you were shallow. 99.99% of men look at physical beauty first and personality second. I specifically used the word "we" here. It is just what we are. This does not mean that we ignore personality. People have multifold motivations for most things. No one is interested in anything for "just one reason", Psych 101. But heck man, she is drop dead gorgeous. I don't believe you haven't noticed that. As men, we tend to give much more leaway to a beautiful woman than others. This is not a disparagement on you, just biology at work.
I also said: "There is someone there better suited to you and maybe you should not be so single minded over this one." You yourself have threatened your lady with this yourself. "Last week I also let her know that if she does not take me serious and reply to my letters with direct answers to my question that I will start talking to other ladies BEFORE I move there." I should have however preceded my statement with "I believe" and I apologise for not doing so.
I stated my opinion that in the long run I do not feel you will be happy with her. That is still my opinion based upon what you have said. I also said that you would continue to persue her. You have indicated a tenacity and persistence in your personality, so I was just stating the obvious here. Again, no insult whatsoever. You yourself agree that persisting is a positive trait. As for my arrogance, well that is so. But it comes after years of accurate predictions about relationships even when only a tiny amount of information is available. You can be the proof of my error. I will be happy with that.
No one likes to see others unhappy unless they are sadistic.
I wish you only the best.