Long distance meeting between man and woman

[Philip]

Thanks Maxx,
As far as I know, Quan joined Chnlove on Feb 25th, I contacted her when I joined a week later and she hasn't refreshed her profile since. The letters have got steadily more serious on both sides since then. So far so good, I thought.
I know it was only the first meeting, but her body language was not encouraging. I know I should expect her to be quite reserved, but her letters were all about hugs and kisses and holding hands when we met. So I am more than curious to find out from her translator how much is Quan and how much is the translator.
I am using the hotel computer - the keyboard has the word SHARK written on it with the picture of a shark next to it. I feel the brotherhood is looking out for me even here. Ha ha.

[maxx]

Alex no worries.My wife acted like she didn't even like me for the first 3 days.It took her a while to get over her shyness.And I found out latter that all the lovey dovey words were from the translater.



Just be yourself and you will do ok.SHow her your smile.Don't push the girl just let it take it's own course.

[Peter]

I am maybe a very lucky man because our translator did a very good job and didn't put in a lot of her own stuff in our letters. When I meet my Lady there was no problems at all with her or mine feelings for each other. We started to hold hand on the first nights 2 hours after we meet and our first kiss came after 4 hours.. We both knew each other very well and our feelings was true from the start...

[Philip]

Hi guys,
an update on the agency. I have just visited it with the translator. It is in the same building as the Southern Pearl International hotel where I am staying, on the 5th floor at the back. I took photos. Quite plush with about 20 translators there with up to about 40 terminals. Arlene the translator says most of them are quite new. She has been there a year and I suspect has better English than the rest. I met the owner who founded the agency in 1996. A bit oily, but didn't say much, except that if it doesn't work out between me and Quan that they have stacks of other possible stand-ins (my words, obviously). I said politely that I wasn't thinking that way at all.
I asked Arlene if Quan had said certain words in her letters, quoting copious uses of phrases about love, may we never be apart, you are the best gift in my life, etc. She flat out denied those were anything other than the words that ushered directly from Quan's lips. Not paraphrases, the actual words. I wasn't convinced, but smiled politely.
Then came the piece of paper to sign, a supposedly innocuous listing of helpful hints, which it was COMPULSORY to sign. I read the helpful hint about not sending the lady expensive gifts. OK, I've read and understood. Don't have to sign for that. Then there was a paragraph about the translator's fee and whether she had provided a good service. Well, firstly, I don't know yet, she hasn't finished providing it, but I added sweetly that it should be good based on my experience with her so far, so, there, I've said it and I can tell Chnlove if you want. Don't need to sign anything for that, surely. Lastly, hidden somewhere in the middle was the money shot, me signing to say I had met Quan. Arlene had earlier declined to tell me about money that Quan paid when I arrived, so I acted all innocent when she said her bosses needed to know that we had met. OK then, I will talk to your bosses and confirm. They can take a picture of us if they like, adding, I don't like to sign things if I don't understand the reasons. There followed frantic running about for 15 minutes and Arlene conceded I didn't have to sign. It was fine. So it wasn't compulsory then. Right. They'll find some other way of getting the money from her.
So, that was my fun afternoon, and I hope that when I meet Quan this evening, we can communicate a little better.
Watch this space

[Philip]

Yes, it's me again.
Just had dinner with Quan, her sister and her sister's boyfriend plus Arlene the translator and her manager, the ice queen (who seemed to have thawed somewhat)
It was better than yesterday, less tense, partly because her sister was there and was a bit of a laugh and her boyfriend was nice and tried to speak English. Quan sat next to me, didn't really look at me, but managed a smile when I paid her a compliment. The best bit was when I said to her sister's boyfriend that Quan's sister was beautiful, but that Quan was very very beautiful. Her sister's boyfriend disagreed with me, we both laughed and the two sisters were very curious to know what we were talking about and laughed when they found out.
It turns out Quan's sister found her (Chinese) boyfriend in the Chinese part of the same agency. Maybe their parents were looking for a two for one offer or a buy one, get one free knowing my luck. Haha.
I gave the sisters presents which they seemed to like and I ate some stinky tofu, which is not as bad as it sounds, quite nice actually.
Give her credit, Arlene was helpful, though I'm still no wiser about the letters. Could it be shyness? I made no attempt to touch Quan in any way tonight, except for a hand on the shoulder, which I suppose was the right thing to do. She didn't want any photos of the four of us as she says she doesn't like seeing herself in photos. If only you guys could see her!
Onwards and upwards. Tomorrow I'm sightseeing on my own, then hopefully seeing a film with Quan in the evening
good night.
Neither happy nor unhappy now!

[Vince G]

Alex, good for you. People don't realize or know, including my own family members, that you don't have to sign a contract (which that basically is) and if there is something you don't like in it. Cross it out and initial it and hand it back for them to initial before signing. I hope there are others here to back me up on this.

I do accounting and at times work from agencies. When "signing up" for one agency they gave me a load of pages to sign. Read/sign. One of the sheets had said, If I left the position during a week for any reason not fulfilling the required hours (40) The amount of hourly wage would drop to minimum wage? WTF? I didn't sign that page. Besides it is against the labor law. I waited for them to ask, why I didn't? or see if they attempted to enforce it later? But they said nothing and did nothing. To me it was a stupid move on there part. Part of doing accounting is knowing the laws such as this.

With anything you sign, you are to receive a copy of, always. In this case it must be in english (or your basic language) readable to you.

[Peter]

Quite funny.. When I visited the agency and meet the owner there wasn't any talk about signing anything... He never asked me or told me that I had to.. Is this something new that the agency's have come up with to tie the ladies to their contract ??
Is the hotel a suggestion from you lady ??  Sometimes the agency book a hotel for you so the have a little bit of control over the situation and you said that the hotel and the agency was in the same building..

[Vince G]

The agency's have come up with to tie the ladies to their contract ??

Most definitely. It's proof that there was a meeting of the two of you. Giving them the go ahead to collect a fee for the meet.

[Philip]

Words from the front
For those of you with a delicate constitution, you might want to skip the following long polite rant and stick to the short version, which is:
DON"T USE THE CHANGSHA BRIDGE LOVE AGENCY
And the rant:
Chnlove don't need to get free advice from us, when it's much simpler for us to pay to go to China and do our own detective work. I have found this to be the purpose of my visit. *a wry smile plays on my lips*
I got a call from Arlene a couple of hours ago, saying she would like me to come to the agency, speaking in an artificially chirpy voice, which makes me think a close relative or pet has just died and she wants to break the bad news. She informs me that instead of arranging with Quan for us to see a film tonight, Quan has decided after careful reflection that, after our meeting with her sister, that we have no chemistry (Me and Quan, not me and her sister, ha ha). Arlene asks if there is anything I would like to say. I assume a dignified silence for about ten minutes, which allows her to visibly squirm.
Then the grim reaper arrives AKA Mr Boss man. He is here to give me the spiel about pulling another bunch of lovely ladies from his hat to assuage my disappointment, with the added benefit that I can actually meet them first, have the chemistry,  and then mortgage my house with EMFs later.
I then embark upon a charm offensive, intended to give him enough rope to hang himself. We have a reasoned discussion about how the letters were so full of love, but as soon as she saw me she was so repulsed that she forgot to give me a hug, or hold my hand, or kiss me, like she had said she would about a million times. Funny thing, this chemistry lark. I didn't state the obvious, which is that Quan wasn't writing the letters, but merely posited the idea that there might be two Quans (a la Anthony Perkins in Psycho). After much pointless digressions on the inability of the CLB agency to read the minds of their ladies and the importance of family approval in Chinese marriages (er, DUH!), I finally wormed out some stuff that amused me, even in my present state. One of the reasons why her sister didn't approve of the match was her discovery last night that I am follicly-challenged (bald). At this point I really got into fifth gear, ladies and gentlemen of the jury:
1. Let us presume that the defendant, Quan, knows the value of family approval, including her sister
2. Let us further presume that from about the 2nd EMF letter (of 51) between us, the fifty or so photos of me would have alerted Quan to the dangerous lack of hair on my head
3. Let us also assume that she, knowing of her sister's hair issues, she might have put two and two together and realized after the first letter, that our relationship was ultimately doomed, even though I was hot stuff in every other department.
At this point, the boss man starts looking for a trap door, and is feeling sad that the quietly-spoken gentleman in front of him is beyond his grasp in the scammable stakes. He asks what I think of my experience with the agency; he reads nothing into my poker face. And I have to say that his final attempt to offer some more ladies to me was half-hearted, to say the least. Poor guy. He's only trying to make a dishonest living. He leaves the scene.
Which leaves me and Arlene. She really lost herself in translation (Get it!) during our exchanges with the boss and found it hard to hold her feelings in. Guilt does that to you.
At this point I burst into tears, firstly because my heart is broken, secondly because I want Arlene to feel bad.
Anyway, chin up, I say. I have some serious solitary sightseeing to do for the rest of the week.
If you can excuse my sarcasm (it's just my broken heart talking), I really am a solid dependable all-round nice guy and if you know of any ladies in the 25 to 35 age bracket who are real and real attractive, I would be happy to hear from you and be tempted to get back on the horse, so to speak.
Thanks for reading
Alex

[Chong]

Alex, sorry to hear about the situation.

If you have your computer make the best of your trip. Contact other ladies ASAP. Here's your opportunity to meet them face-to-face. I would do a search on ChnLove and Changsha specifically ( since you're there ) and sent out cupid notes and 1st EMFs to 5 ladies at least. Then arrange some lunch/dinner dates.

[Scottish_Rob]

Alex so sorry to hear that mate...............

[Paul Todd]

Mike said it all, try to make the best of the situation my friend. a lot can happen in the next few days. Stay positive!

[RobertBfrom aust]

Alex, sorry to hear the news , but been there done that in Changsha , and now have my own Princess who has moved towns .
 I would say firstly check out P218 ladies and if you can find someone in the hotel who speaks very good English have them find and phone the agency for you , from memory Mr Tang is the owner .
 And if you want have one of their translators pick you up and take you to their offices .
 Whilst remembering no fraternizing with hotel staff [ instant dismissal ] the ladies who speak good English may know someone , this worked for me in a roundabout way , no chnlove or agency involved .
 You should not need a human translator for more than a day at the most if you have a good electronic translator like a Besta with a stylus pen , then you are in direct contact with the lady and can chat all the time with English to Chinese translation and the reverse .This can be fun with no one looking over your shoulder .
 So pick yourself up and get cracking even to checking out and going up to the Huatian Hotel , 300 East Jie Fang Road , Changsha ph : 731 4442888 , with an email of resv@huatian-hotel.com , good luck , regards Robert .

[Irishman]

Alex so sorry to hear what happened to you. I know exactly how it feels when it doesn't work out and you meet an ice queen over there. I knew something was up when I first met Hui and it was an electric bolt went through her when I tried to hold her hand on the first day.
I did meet someone else on that trip and it was one I will remember with fondness for the rest of my life. I know it feels rough right now but you are there, you have a few days left to salvage it, go try and meet another girl, at least if you meet them there, it will be all upfront and genuine and real without misunderstandings.

You have our 100% backup here, keep you head held high and try and make the best of the situation hard as that probably seems to do right now, believe me it is FANTASTIC when you meet another girl that responds there so soon after something like this, and it is possible, very possible if you have faith in yourself.

[maxx]

Alex I'm sorry to hear that.Like Chong and Ronan and everybody else  said.Contact the other agency get the ball rolling you can still have a real good time in China.