Here I go again...

[Willy The Londoner]

David,

That is a great gesture. 

Not sure if anyone has said how to do it yet.   Go to elong.com   that is the China version of expedia.  You can look up the prices etc as anywhere else. The prices are good especially the one that goes via Moscow to London.   Telephone them and speak to English speaking chinese to make booking and you may well find it even cheaper than on line as I  did.

Then to pay if you do not want to give the details of your debit card then they will give you a Bank Account details and you get 24 hours to pay cash into a bank. I think the bank will charge 50 rmb extra.

That is how I did our last trip to UK.

Willy

[ttw]

I agree with Martin there is no place for this here on the forum. This journey must be well prepared and
even the most well planned ones dont work out but you must always have a plan and money to go home
when you start it. sorry ruff but true

[Chong]

“I could not even have the 'GUTS' to ask for his help.  Do you really know how embarressing for me this is?
Do you really know, how it feels, to have to ask anyone for financial help like this?”

I can understand, but when you face to "emergency",there is not"embarressing" to feel about.
One of my friends have a hardest time in his life these days because of his father was in hospital need 400.000RMB or so , he use up all his money ,and borrow from his family and best friends, but still lack of  money to pay the hospital. he has no choice to ask girls for help. What I feel is I am shameless that I only can gather Fortieth to help but I have try my best.  This make me think if one day it happens to me, what I can do ?

I don't know the particulars of that hospital situation but that's why people have hospital insurance [ even in China ]. If the excuse is that one can't afford insurance, well you can't afford not to have it, even if just a small amount. then you don't have to burden your friends/family. If someone asks for help, family & friends feel an obligation to help out. Simply by telling your story and situation, people will come forward and help ... without you asking for help. That's the moral and logical way of asking indirectly.

Chen ... this situation with Rob isn't an emergency, it was self-inflicted.

[Jimmy]

 I used to see posts in the chnlove forums often, from men who are on fixed incomes asking (usually whining) about not being able to meet the minimum income requirement for spousal visas. 

What guys on a fixed income can't afford it? Well that's BS if I ever heard it. I am on a fixed income and qualify just fine. Maybe if they are on social security and never really ever worked. It's not a lot but a Minimum of 20K even on Social Security is pretty typical.

[ron]

Rob went there and Sopie was aware that if he couldnt nail work he would have to return .He did try to explain to her that since he hadnt gotten any work that he was going to leave and break this off He saw how sad she was and tried to prove to her that he was in love with her so he tore the ticket up .As far as ripping her heart out that was not his intention and she was aware of all this he didnt lead her on.Rob wears his heart on his sleeve and what he should have done was discuss it with her that he would seek work from his home for next year in the meantime they would wait until he had some confirmation.I am not going to cheer him on or give him a pep talk he is aware of his mistakes but please dont make it look like he did this without concsience .                                   Ron

[Jimmy]

Rob went there and Sopie was aware that if he couldnt nail work he would have to return .He did try to explain to her that since he hadnt gotten any work that he was going to leave and break this off He saw how sad she was and tried to prove to her that he was in love with her so he tore the ticket up .As far as ripping her heart out that was not his intention and she was aware of all this he didn't lead her on.Rob wears his heart on his sleeve and what he should have done was discuss it with her that he would seek work from his home for next year in the meantime they would wait until he had some confirmation.I am not going to cheer him on or give him a pep talk he is aware of his mistakes but please don't make it look like he did this without conscience .                                   Ron

Why would he have to break it off? most guys when they are first married can't stay with the wife in the beginning gotta go home and work, or Plan for the next trip.
" Honey I am sorry but I gotta go home for awhile, I love you and will be back real soon" They always cry and get scared, But that goes away as soon as you call them from home. Hey I have done it twice and it's not easy. But then sometimes being a husband and a father is not easy either. You have to make some very unpopular decisions sometimes. And these women expect their man to do this he is the head of the house. They may not like it, but until you show you are not making the decision in the best interest of her and the family, they will support you in it.
My wife cried all day a few days ago when she thought her visa was dead, and I was going back to the US to take care of the kids and some other business. But now she understands why I would go and what I would be doing. And now she tells me to hurry up and go so I can hurry up and get back.  She knows I am coming back.

[ron]

From what I had read  in his previous posts and I dont know why he didnt just explain he will have to re organise and set up another trip he was telling her he was leaving and he tore up his ticket to prove he loved her.And that put him in a bigger fix.I dont know if anyone had tried to pm him and maybe given him advice.The biggest thing here is he reacted on emotions instead of thinking it through.   Ron

[Scottish_Rob]

Guys, please no more arguments about this...

Each and everyone who has expressed their feelings are 'right'........ to some extent.

I should have had my ticket 'Open Ended'
Yes, I should have made sure I had more money than I did.
Yes I should have secured work
Yes I should have prepared better than I did..(In hindsight, I thought I did)
I explained about having to return to the UK after we get married
I explained that I would need to get work at home for a return trip

These points are all down to me.  Martin and the mods are RIGHT, I should not have tried to 'Burden' my friends on here, for that gentlemen and ladies I really do APOLOGISE

As I said, once I am home, I will give the full story.  Willy did have a real go at me through PM, rightly so (In his eyes), but as I did say, they are 2 sides to each story.  There were factors at work, that I will not go into at this moment.

I have always said this is my fault, most of it is!! But not all and this will become apparent, I will not attack the chinese women on here because of one person, but neither will I REALLY defend my decision to say what I will be saying (Later) or to ask for help.

So I ask again, PLEASE  NO MORE ARGUEMENTS ABOUT THIS

[Willy The Londoner]

From what I had read  in his previous posts and I dont know why he didnt just explain he will have to re organise and set up another trip he was telling her he was leaving and he tore up his ticket to prove he loved her.And that put him in a bigger fix.I dont know if anyone had tried to pm him and maybe given him advice.The biggest thing here is he reacted on emotions instead of thinking it through.   Ron

Ron,  are you the Max Clifford for fallen Scotsmen?  ( Maybe only the Brits will understand that but he does all the PR for fallen hero's in UK.) How long have you been on here. Was you  here a year earlier when he went to China, met a nice lady and he came back telling us all that she was the best thing sliced bread!!!   Then a couple of weeks later she was replaced by a women he met on the internet.   He is not unexperienced in China.  He new that due to certain things he was unlikely to get work here. He tried it before and he failed so why did he think of doing it again.   

He was given plenty of advice from many people.  Robbie is in contact by PM and em and qq  and telephone with probably more members on this forum than anyone else.   He has received a lot of advice.  When I realised he was in Beijing and going to the embassy I made enquiries concerning repatriation and then found that I could not contact him by telephone or text.   12 hours later I was still trying to contact him and put things on the shout box asking if anyone had heard from him.

I was afraid that maybe he would end up being repatriated in a box.   Of course he was getting mixed advice. That was because everyone was getting different stories on the same day.   

All he should do is to get himself back here on the first available flight.  Not wait to play out his visa until the 26th or whatever day it is.  Then forget about China - it is not going to be available to him for another 11 years then he will be able to live here on his pension.

Oh Happy Birthday Rob - well that is what Skype told me today.  Hope they have been given the right information!!!!

Willy

[Scottish_Rob]

Oh Happy Birthday Rob - well that is what Skype told me today.  Hope they have been given the right information!!!!

Willy

The finest British sarcasm

Yes ron was here the last time

[ron]

There isnt an argument from me to anyone on here.I see this as a very embarrassing situation .I may not know all the info such as private messages.I do know what I have read.Yes I am very familiar with Robs last trip I read everything on it as it happened.His approach and mine are 2 different things .There is nothing to be gained by being critical of what he has done .Only that he has learned from this and hopefully steps back and look at it.Hopefully at the end of the day we have all learned something from all this. Happy Birthday Rob
       Ron

[Scottish_Rob]

I made enquiries concerning repatriation and then found that I could not contact him by telephone or text.   12 hours later I was still trying to contact him and put things on the shout box asking if anyone had heard from him.

I was afraid that maybe he would end up being repatriated in a box.   

Willy after we spoke in Beijing, my credit ran out, and there was no way for me to get any...Sorry

[Sylvain D]

Wow..
feels more like a bad "side" of your trip in China, Rob.
I hope you're safe and that you can be fine, by now.
Oh, Happy Birthday !!!
I hope you can go back home the best way you can, and that everything can go fine with Sophie.
By the way... I can only agree most of the brotherdhood's comments, but well..
Sometimes, we must "anticipate" many things... because everything can happen, anytime.

Just take care, and don't let your head downside, Rob.

[shaun]

Happy Birthday Rob.

[Scottish_Rob]

Where do I start !!!

Firstly, thanks for all the help, support and lamblasting that I recieved.  I am NOT saying this to be facetious, I am saying this because I really do want to say thanks.  I know the blasting I recieved was 'earned' by me, so I take it the way it is giving.  I was 'told' many times BUT I did not listen.

I have been told through Pm that there is a suggestion going around, that I only got a 'ONE WAY TICKET HERE' AND USED THE REST OF THE MONEY.  Well I will tell everyone on this forum, if anyone wants to contact me through my Yahoo ex_jock52@yahoo.com, and see the ticket through web cam THEY ARE MORE THAN WELCOME.   In fact I hope someone does, AND they can TELL the rest of you THEY saw the ripped ticket.

Maxx has said this many times, 'This' journey is not for everyone...

This is my second trip here, and I should have 'learned' from the first one.  After Qingdao I decided to go back to the UK to 'learn' to speak 'slower' so I could be understood if I wanted work.  now after a few months there, I 'felt' AND was told privetly that I do speak slower and better, and I can now be understood, so I made the journey back to try again.  Everyone has a dream, I am no different...

'Lliving' in China is more than likely NOT for me, HOWEVER, that does not mean that having a Chinese woman as a wife is also not for me.  Because of MY inability to read what was a 'loving act' as that, I have lost everything.  When I say everything, I am not just talking about the 'lady' I loved, I am also talking about losing friends, respectability, and any good reputation that I may or may not have had.  Now I am not here to say, please feel sorry for me, because, I'm not....THIS was my own fault.

THE NIGHT I RIPPED MY TICKET
Sophie had 'Talked' me out of returning, but later that night, she got 'apprehensive' and 'worried', so to show her, it was her I wanted, I ripped the ticket up.  I won't go into details, I know now how stupid it was, and as Willy quite rightly pointed out, I should have left then.

THE DAY I WENT TO BEIJING
The morning there was an incident while she was feeding me with the chopsticks, I (again) as Willy pointed out to me)) totally misconstrued this to be an act of violence, because it was not the first time this had happened.  So I let rip and shouted, she returned it in kind, I went to the room, let her go to work and I left.  While on the bus to Qingdao I texted her and told her I was gone.  NOW before ANYONE says anything, I KNOW HOW WRONG THIS WAS, and this is also eating me up.  This 'incident' as Willy told me, if I say it, I will be 'the laughing stock of the forum' BUT whats new, I am that anyway at the moment...right?

All the time on the bus, in Qingdao airport and when I arrived in Beijing, all the emotions were going through me, 'Am I doing the right thing?'  After I landed in Beijing, I read the texts she had sent me, 'She was sorry', 'please come back'.  I called Willy up and told him how I felt, that I had made the biggest MISTAKE OF MY LIFE BY LEAVING.  I then contacted Sophie, and told her I would come back to Zhucheng vie Weifang, if that is what she wanted.  She agreed.

At that time I had a total of 144 rmb on me with a further 45 rmb in the bank.  I got the bus (in Beijing airport) into the train station where I purchased the ticket back.  By litrally 10 seconds, after been told what platformm to get the train on, I missed the train.  I had to wait until 22.48pm the next night, as there are only one train a day goes there.  So I had to stay in the station all night, the next day I went to the Brittish Embassy.  Now if they would have said YES to repatriation, I probably would have went...

At the moment, I am still at Sophies home, and we are talking.  Can it be salvaged, .. possibly, possibly not?  We will just have to wait and see
She went out from work yesterday and bought me a present and BIG birthday cake...

What we both know is, that if we do manage to fix it, then She knows I will have to go back for work etc...I did tell her this through other mediums before I came here. BUT the guys with wifes and girlfriends will tell you, they listen but don't hear...