Author Topic: How to pay respect when someone die.  (Read 1446 times)

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Offline daghoi

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How to pay respect when someone die.
« on: August 09, 2010, 06:44:04 pm »
Hi !

My girlfriend’s brother has been terminal ill for a long time.  Early this morning my girlfriend brought the message that he had passed away. I did my best to comfort her from long distance. Unfortunately I have never met her brother so I did not know him in person. My girlfriend and he did grow up in different places, but became close as they became adults.
 
It is in situations like this the long distance relationship is at its most difficult.

I have told her to contact me whenever she wants or need, any time of day. She has left from Beijing to Shanghai to be with the sister in-law and other family.
 
Any suggestions on what kind of support she may want/need. Are there other tradition's that I should know about when it comes to these things.

Offline Irishman

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 08:50:08 pm »
Daghoi, you did good, you cannot do much from far away, but let her know you are there for her.
I would call her a couple of times a day just to check up with her and make sure she's doing as OK as can be expected.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline Hajo

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 12:50:14 am »
Daghoi, sorry to read this. It is always difficult if somebody passes away and you are far from there.

As Irish writes, let her know you are there for her. You have no other real options. The thought that you are there for her will give her some support which she surely will appreciate.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

ttwjr32

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2010, 04:27:56 am »
sorry to hear this sad news,  the best thing is to just be there for her over the web or phone and give
all your support to her that will be much appreciated by her im sure. best wishes to her and the family

Offline daghoi

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2010, 12:33:43 pm »

Hi !

Thanks for the answer guys.

I'll be in touch with her and make sure she is doing ok.

Offline kenny

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2010, 01:09:35 pm »
Shortly after my first visit to China Linda's parents were invloved in an accident and burned severly. I called her 3 times a day while she was in the hospital with them. Later her mother passed away and she told me not to call for, i believe 3 days during the funeral process which is much different than ours I think. I got a text message from her as soon as the funeral was over to call her. She told me that her mother and family knew I was calling and doing all I could to comfort her. They need to know we are here thinking of them and they need their time with family as well. Just call her and show her you are doing the best you can and thinking of her, it will go a long way with her and her family.

Offline daghoi

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Re: How to pay respect when someone die.
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2010, 12:23:05 pm »

Thanks, we are in contact regular.