THE RED ENVELOPE

[Willy The Londoner]

We had to go to Changsha  as well as no facility in Henyang but will differ on one point.  I rank is as not being one of my favourite cities.  Not much lower than Shenzhen and Guangzhou. 

And my wife thought we may buy a home in HuNan Province.   ROFL  and still laughing - one contest I won hands down.  I want to stay in Zhonghan.

Willy

 

[ttwjr32]

and again whats wrong with guangzhou??

[Bee964]

Ahhh yes, China, loud shirts, .... must be Guangzhou! And there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that!! One can be quite stylish wearing loud shirts in Guangzhou! 

Dave C

[ttwjr32]

well you should be back in china now and be getting married soon. just wanted to say congratulations
and just sit back and follow your wifes lead on all the planning. by the way the candy bag gifts are a really
nice touch as everyone really appreciates them.

[mickw]

You will need to make some plans for your daughters involvement. If she is to be bridesmaid it will  be very difficult at the marriage office.  It is not like a ceremony as  in a UK registrars office.

You get the  paperwork filled out and just sit back whilst they enter the details.  You read from a declaraition page and so does the lady. You sit back again and they give you a little red book and your married.

One thing that you should check on right away is can the office in the ladies home town actually marry you!  My wife's home city in Hengyang but they cannot marry foreigners as they did not have foreigners  facilities and we had to go to Changsha. 

Make sure that they can do it and plan accordingly.

Willy


Thanks for the advice Willy my old china,but things do and did differ in Fuzhou today when we tied the knot  yesterday.

Firstly after i had got my cert of no impeciment in the UK i emailed Lin Fang with both sides of the cert ,which is the side we get from the Registry office,and on the back is attached the legalisation stamp from the home office and the authentication from the Chinese embassy in London .Fang took this copy to the Marriage office and checked it was what they required ,they comfirmed  this was all in order and all they needed.

So we caught the train late on Sunday night into Fuzhou ,and the following morning went to the original marriage office only to  find it had moved in the last month ,so another taxi jaunt to the new office .We filled out a form and got some copies ot the relevant pages of out passports,paid 200 RMB and were told to get 3 pictures together for the records,one for each red book and the other they keep on record and come back tomorrow .

They were not interested in mine or Lin Fangs decrees of divorce or indeed my self penned single cert i had done .

Off we went in the afternoon to a digital process shop ,and jesus these guys using adobe are amazing ,made me look almost human .30RMB was the cost of the passport sized pictures of us both.

This morning we were off at 9.30 to the office ,the girl checked the pics were us ,made out the red marriage book for both of us ,we both signed another form ,cost 9 RMB for this mornings offerings and bingo we were married.


Actually Willy as you say, my daughter had no part in the actual visits to do the formalities part of the marriage as above ,her part i guess will be on the 9 th when we have the Bun Fight in Xiapu.


So up and coming brothers on the road to getting hitched in china,whichever country your from ,make sure you ,as other brotheres have stated before ,that you check out the relevant requirements,rules and regulations, as obviously things do differ between provinces.

And now we start the difficult part .............the Visa application,the Uk guys be aware the beaurocratic t..ts have re jigged  forms round ,and made it a right minefield ,it took me all night checking the various forms before i got the right one (assuming i have )  im using VAF4A SETTLEMENT

Update on the Bun Fight on the 9 th will maybe after im back,unless i can find time before i return ,along with some pics hopefully

Cheers

Mick

[ttwjr32]

better to be over prepared than to get there and need something you dont have
just a thought

[Arnold]

To bring back the " Red Envelpoe " , Qing and I were discussing when we are going back for a Visit . This is when the Hammer came down on that thought .
The way she explained it to me , it could come out much more expensive then I had in Mind . First , going back " from America " to a big City like Shanghai ..and let's say .. she has a lot of Aunt's and Uncle's / Brother's and Sister's ( if she's older of course 40 +) . This would mean , bringing a Red Envelope with us for .. first the Parent's .. then all the other's I have mentioned in the Top Rank's of the Family living in this City your going back to . So now we discuss , how much are we talking about here ? Qing's answer is from 1000 to 3000 yuan ( RMB's ) for each , with the Parent's of course at the higher end . Any less of a Thousand would lose Face not only for Qing and myself  , but Aunt's and Uncle's as well . This is not where it will end though . If more Member's in other City's , they will be told of this and more Face is lost . Qing said , you put a couple (2)100's into an Envelope .. they will actually throw this away and be insulted .. especially coming from America . Yes I know , the elder's still think we swim in Money here . But try to change their Mind ! Good Luck !
So it's not over after the Wedding only , this Red Envelope thing . Now there are expection to any Rule , but be careful with those Chinese Custom's and safe your own Face along with you Lady's ect. ect. .

[shaun]

Dang Arnold.    What can I say but dang.   Where does this all end?   At some point the people over there need to understand that all American are not rich and that we are not a vast resource of money for them.  What about them adopting a few American customs since their daughters married an American man?

Gee I wish it were April 1!

[RobertBfrom aust]

Gee Shaun , it's easy for you guys in America , just ring OooooBanana and ask him for some of those dollars he is printing , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Arnold]

I know it sounds evel , but my LaoPo also advised " Us " not to go that often . That was some kind of relief . 

[David E]

I was talking to Ming about the Red Envelope stuff as portrayed in your post Arnold.

I asked her what will we need to do when we go back to China for holidays, after she comes here to live.

her answer "NO, I never heard of such a thing, my family and friends would not expect gifts of money from us. It would be nice if we take them all out to dinner, but no red envelopes"

I guess it is an individual thing, and each family must work it out for themselves.

I told Ming that I am not a Bank Account for her friends and family....she agreed, completely.

[JamesM.Roberts]

Dear Mickw.
The red envelopes are both given to the bride and groom and by the groom. It is a very cool and fun tradition in some parts of China. The ones given out by the groom are the fun ones in my opinion. I guess it will depend on how well you know her friends and family, but the ones given by the groom are "ransom" paid to receive your bride. The brides friends and family will require "tests" to get past them to get your prize. One can perform the "tests" or just give out the "ransom" .
I have included a link from you tube that shows the game. There are a bunch of videos there if you are interested.funny crazy games in chinese wedding
Best of luck to the both of you and remember HAVE FUN!!!!

[Neil]

This is exactly why I decided to avoid looking for a Shanghai woman.  No offense Arnold, but the vast majority of Shanghai people have the reputation of being very money hungry.   It's a shame that many bad apples have spoiled the reputation for the few good ones. 

[David E]

Shaun.....dont say "dang"...just say NO !!!!!

Cheers..David

[Paul Todd]

James, I don't know if you have read Rhonald's thread about his big wedding day, but he had some real fun and games with the red envelopes.

Reading this stuff got me to thinking how the whole red envelopes thing started so while I'm sat at my computer waiting for some school books to download I thought I'd find out.So here it is.......

The legend of  red envelopes

In China, during the time of the Sung Dynasty, a legend arose that the village people of Chang-Chieu were living in fear of an evil presence among them. No one could rid the town of this evil, dragon-like creature, not even the greatest noblemen or strongest warriors. The villagers lived in constant fear. Then, one day, a brave, young man, whose ancestors bequeathed to him a magical sword, called a Ma Dao, waited for the dragon to appear. Unflinching, the young man, wielding his magical sword, defeated the evil presence of the dragon and it was no more. The villagers were so relieved and thankful that they had the elders present, to the brave, young man, ang pow, a red packet filled with money. The villagers believed that by giving this red packet to the heroic, young man that they, the young man and their village would be blessed. And so, from that happy day in the village of Chang-Chieu, and throughout the centuries, the story has become a Chinese tradition, in giving a red envelope as a blessing.