Hi everyone and Happy New Year.
I have just spent a very eventful 2 weeks with my wife in China.
Warning: this is a long post!
On December 18th, Zhimei and I took a train to Shenzhen, then took a metro and taxi to meet my wife’s cousin, David. We had a nice meal and I ordered a laptop and a phone for her son Peng Fei, who is 12. He normally never strings two words together, but he was absolutely ecstatic at the news when we told him on the phone. He has had a rather deprived upbringing, but the computer will really help him with his schoolwork (and his interest in gaming!). David has installed some good software , checked it and sent it to him in Changning).
Next day, we took a bus to Guangzhou and a high-speed train to Changsha. I love Changsha. It is dirty, grey and the buildings are mostly cathedrals of concrete, but I can’t help loving it. It is real. There are amazing contradictions between the aggressive and ambitious building work that is going on and the almost Dickensian housing right next it. I like nothing better than to eat at one of the restaurants with the dishes laid out in bowls on large steam trays. We stayed at the Mellow Orange hotel next to the station – very nice - 169rmb.
On the 20th, we tried to get my wife a check-up at the gynaecological hospital she stayed at in October, but there was a power cut, so the doctors, sitting in candle-light, told her, they couldn’t check anything. We met her Changsha friend in her dark little home. I had a rough, but invigorating massage from the old blind guy who lived next door, for 30rmb. I was told not to speak, even when it hurt, because my wife had told the man I was from Guangdong. I don’t know what difference that would have made (maybe the price), but I’m glad he didn’t massage my face, the game would have been up! We onblyt staye3d for one meal at her friend’s – she spent most of the time screaming at her 8-year old son for not doing his homework. She is still holding on to the idea that she will get compensation for the motorbike accident she had in April – ain’t ever gonna happen, but she won’t let it go. It’s eating her up and she’s taking it out on everyone.
Next day, we did some sightseeing and walking (lots of walking). Why take a bus for 2rmb, when you can walk half of Changsha? Ha ha!
On the 22nd, we took a trip to my wife’s hometown, Changning. To get there, we took a two hour train south to Hengyang, then a 2 hour ramshackle bus ride to Changning. The ticket collector was very entertaining – she spent the whole time arguing furiously on her phone (which had a Benny Hill theme ringtone) and laughing in conversation with my wife. Changning reminds me of those one-street cities in the Mid-West. Montains of red dust covers everything and everybody. I was surprised not to see tumbleweed rolling past. There are no street lights, which was strange. And building sites were everywhere. We checked in at the nearest hotel, which had not been renovated (or even cleaned) this century. We were met by my 74 year-old father-in-law and my 8 year-old stepdaughter, Yi Ting. I shook his hand, he was quiet, but not unfriendly. Yi Ting was quite sweet and mischievous, but we had a nice time playing hand-clapping games as we walked the half-mile to the house she and her brother shared with her grandfather. They live in a large, barely-furnished 6th floor apartment. I gave the father the 2 bottles of French wine. He nodded thank you. Peng Fei arrived at around 8, back from school. We said hello, but he didn’t say a word all evening. Even with my wife, he gave one monosyllabic answer to every 5 questions she asked. He seemed very shy. We all ate a meal at a local restaurant, together with my wife’s sister-in-law and her teenage son. It was quite subdued, but OK.
On the 23rd, we moved into a rather posh new hotel, which looks very incongruous next to all the drab buildings on the main strip. The marketing manager, mistaking me for a big businessman, insisted on carrying our bags and offering us a tour of Changning. My wife went to the local police station to get her visa for Hong Kong renewed and apply for a passport. Then we took the officer dealing with her case out for a meal after she finished work for the morning. We gave her the perfume we had bought to bribe her. It seemed to do the trick. She was happy and smiling talking to my wife, and she offered to send the finished visa and passport to my wife’s cousin’s address in Shenzhen when it was ready, rather than Zhimei having to return to Changning. We went shopping for a computer table and chair and a water heater for the children, we went to the apartment again, to find Yi Ting and three of her pink-coated school friends huddled on the floor doing their homework under a table lamp. We ate duck for the evening meal. My wife decided that the children would stay with us in the hotel, much to the chagrin of her father, who called her a ‘disobedient daughter’ , I found out later. The kids loved the hotel, especially Peng Fei, who enjoyed himself playing games on the computer.
On the 24th, it was Zhimei’s father’s birthday, so we bought him a watch and ordered him a cake. I think he was in a bit of a mood from the previous day, so we didn’t stay long at the apartment. The weather was turning from mild dry weather to cold drizzle, but there wasn’t enough rain to wash the red dust from the streets. In the evening, Zhimei and I went to a coffee shop and watched the street for the children returning home from school. Strange as it may seem, but in the 18 months of knowing her, she has never spoken about her mother, and this despite a few attempts to ask her about her. But, as we sat there drinking coffee, she told me that when she was born, she was very ill. Her mother had not been able to cope, and sent her to her aunt, who brought her up for the first 5 years of her life. She said her aunt was very kind and saved her life. When she was 5, she returned to her parents. Her mother died 8 years ago. Zhimei did not see her very much towards the end. I had originally said I would like to see her birthplace, a village nearby, but now I said I did not need to go. She did not want to go back, and she said that it would not be good if her father’s relatives saw me. He has 9 brothers and sisters, many of whom still live in the village. Three of them have 5 children and they would all expect a large handout if they saw a western man with my wife. But mostly, she did not want to be reminded of an unhappy time in her life. When the kids arrived, I made a little breakthrough with Peng Fei. He wrote, ‘Play magic’ on my electronic translator and handed it to me with a shy smile. I said I didn’t do magic, but I knew some card games, and proceeded to teach him a few simple card games using my trusty pack. He and I had a great time. We spent another night in the hotel with the kids – very nice.
On Christmas Day, we had breakfast in the hotel. As we were eating, we looked out of the window, almost simultaneously. Thick flakes of snow were transforming the dirty red street with a beautiful white carpet. Magical. White Christmas in Changning. Peng Fei and I had a snowball fight in the car park. We watched a few Christmas movies in the hotel room. I helped Peng Fei with his English homework. I had a lot of fun with Yi Ting, giving her piggy-back rides and her teaching me how to write so9me Chinese words.
The next day, we took lots of ‘Moddy’s’ (motor bike taxis) into town and back.It is an experience, 3 on a bike in Chinese traffic. We helped Peng Fei set up a bank account in his name, for him to have a monthly allowance for him and his sister. We had a last meal together with her father in a restaurant. He ordered his favourite, dog. I thought it was duck, the way my wife said it, but, no, it was dog. Whoops.
On the 27th, Zhimei and I took a bus to Changsha and checked in at the Mellow Orange hotel again. The hospital still couldn’t help us. For the next few days, we just enjoyed each other’s company walking around Changsha and looking at the fascinating markets.
On New Year’s Eve, we received the news that Zhimei’s father and children were on a bus to Changsha. The children had the weekend off from school, and her father wanted to fulfil his long-cherished dream of visiting Mao’s birthplace in Shaoshan. They had a few hairy moments on the way, when her father went to the toilet and didn’t return, when Peng Fei was in the line to buy tickets at Hengyang station, but he eventually reappeared. They eventually arrived in Changsha at about 11pm, and we found a restaurant that was open late. My wife went to order the food with the kids. I was left alone with her father. He said ‘cesuo’ and I was proud to show him where the toilets were (long experience of drinking Chinese beer, which goes through me like water, has given me an intimate knowledge of the location of all the toilets in Changsha, haha.) He was suitably impressed. Then we found out that the restaurant was out of rice?!!!. When dad returned, I told him, ‘mei you fan’, and he was amazed that I could speak Chinese, and he actually understood me. He ordered some alcoholic drink which looked like wine, but tasted like meths mixed with vinegar. We shared a toast and he looked almost happy.
On New Year’s day, all five of us crammed into a taxi (the cheapest option) and took a very bumpy two-hour journey across Hunan countryside to Shaoshan. The weather was freezing, with a biting wind to match. We joined a queue to look at the farmhouse where Mao was born, his bedroom, the small dining room where many important meetings were held. Her father and I walked through the rooms, sometimes exchanging a smile. He refused to have his photo taken, but enjoyed the visit. Apparently, my wife’s brothers have been sending him money for years to make trips abroad, to Australia and the States, but they have been too busy with work to accompany him, so he has never actually gone. This time, he was able to visit somewhere he had wanted to go for a long time. We shared some stinky tofu from a street seller (apparently Mao’s favourite dish) and walked around the museum. It was all in Chinese, so I didn’t really understand much. I just looked at the pictures, including some rather Jesus-like portraits. But my wife diligently read the words to her father and he pointed at the portraits and asked who the people were. Stupid me then realized that her father was not only illiterate, but had sacrificed a lot to make sure that his daughter was well-educated. Now I knew why she had advised me not to communicate with him using the electronic translator. Later I asked her if he enjoyed the trip. She said he was happy. The trip home was fun. I think in order to avoid a 10rmb toll, the taxi driver took a country route. We stopped 4 or 5 times, either because of a road accident, or because the road was blocked with a pile of rubble, or because the road just stopped. Yi Ting was sick about 3 times, and I got a real picture of the Hunan countryside.
We had a final meal in Changsha together, and Zhimei and the kids accompanied me to the station for me to catch the 23.54 overnight train to Shenzhen.
So, here I am at home in Hong Kong, warmer than Changsha, but missing my wife and new family. Hopefully, her next 90 day visa will come on about the 10th January. Happy New Year everyone. This Chinese New Year has been the year of the tiger, my wife’s sign. This year will be the year of the rabbit, my sign. I hope it is a lucky year for everyone.
