Author Topic: few questions (Read 6741 times)

Konig · « **on:** September 28, 2010, 09:13:16 pm »

im new on chinlove and i wana asc some questions... i read many thinks abaut scamed ect and here i wana asc abaut advices
im speaking with one lady it is nice confersation ect i gived her some photos and she gived me photos... but this photos are maked far far away it is she and big bulding behaind her so idk if it is realy she
and i wana asc
how to reconize im scamed any advices ?
like how to know im speaking with some1 who only play with me and wana me spend all coins and go buy more coins ect i know it buisnes to make money like that... but really how to know i speaking with real woman and advices ?
and also question abaut age im 20 years old... i think more adult persons like 30-40 years old have much much easy to find a woman because this is last time to make family and both have their young days away and they more think abaut family now
and how it is when some1 is really young like me ?
i can even give some1 my profile and he can see me letters with her and see if im scammed or not i really dont wana by disepoint like i spend money write with some1 and at the end everythink was one big mess

also i saw in admires i have from ladys many leeters have common thinks use worlds like "hehe" or have similar questions or introduing
so i asc here for all advices for new guy

what i shall be watch out ect how to know it is a real lady ect

i will be real pleased

Konig

Arnold · « **Reply #1 on:** September 28, 2010, 10:24:18 pm »

First of all welcome to our Forum .

Second , I see your only 20 yrs. old . Now , not that I want to throw a stone into your Search .. but do you know what your are really dealing with .
This venture is not for the ones worrying about a few dollars spend on this . As has been mentioned before , this Journey from the start to finish can
easily cost you between $10,000 to some $25,000 . Now this is very real . The Lady's ? That we are never 100% sure that they are not scaming you .
This is exactly why we are here .. to minimize this from happening to our Member's . So you did pick a great place for advice , but again .. it must be
within your means to even take it any further .

We are here to help , so ask anything .. but do take it seriously .. as we all do .

Martin · « **Reply #2 on:** September 28, 2010, 11:56:20 pm »

Are you old enough to get married in China? What is the minimum age for a guy?

maxx · « **Reply #3 on:** September 29, 2010, 12:03:09 am »

Arnold · « **Reply #4 on:** September 29, 2010, 12:30:45 am »

Quote from: Martin on September 28, 2010, 11:56:20 pm

Are you old enough to get married in China? What is the minimum age for a guy?

Well , he most likely will be at 21 when the time for that comes .. but that doesn't means " Nothing " as of yet .

Rhonald · « **Reply #5 on:** September 29, 2010, 01:07:59 am »

Well at such a young age I would question the desire to go the Chnlove.com route. The web site claims to be set up for people serious in the quest to be married. I think it does cater to an older crowd just because of the past experiences we have had dealing with relationships.

Koing I am not stating that you are not serious but I think you are a little young to tread this pathway. I suggest a better alternative, since you are young, and I can guess probably not attached yet to any financial, or career, or child rearing obligations, that you consider maybe attending school in China. There are many schools that cater to students wishing to learn Mandarin in China. You would be set up to live at a sponsors home during your stay and attend class for part of the day. Usually weekends have planned outings. The price would be equivalent to staying at a nice hotel. And for this method you will have ample chances to meet single young girls. Heck chances are your home sponsor could have candidates. If I was young and had to do it again then this is how I would have found my Chinese girl.

And even if you do not find true Love.... at least you learned how to peel an orange .... I mean speak Mandarin

and oranges are better then sour grapes.

Konig · « **Reply #6 on:** September 29, 2010, 02:41:35 am »

Maby i tell abaut my sytuation allitle bit

i live in Poland in small city near capital
i have land "700m2" with one family house i live there alone... my parents live 1 kilometer away in blocks... they buy this house when comunism fall down in europe then prices was crazy abaut everything.. and no1 live there 23 years and my parents see im becoming more adult then they decide renovate this house and i live there and learn responsobility to take care of home and land im own
and im searius to find a girl/wife for me

...im not type of adventures like disco,drugs,alcochol meet many girls in my live ect
i wana find one woman who will be suport me in me whole live... i dont search for a girl who today love me and tomorow hats me
abaut money... i have saved 3000$ and my month salary in work is 438.52 USD maby it is funny for you guys but that is real salary in my country... poland just escape from comunism and it is very hard to get well pay job like in usa on western europe
but i speak with my friend they say to me "if there is chance you will find your love there then money is not big deal... money comes and go but love, memorys and expirience stays forever"... i will take my chance and try find woman here for me if i dont find anything then i will just simple quit

and i will take precius expirience

but if i find woman who will really love me then i will be determinated to do everything

question abaut "child rearing obligations" i have two sister one have kid and husband in 17 years old other have in 20 years old and they both live very well with them own familys so question abaut "child rearing obligations" is no matter of age but a person who take care of it... personaly i know a guy who is 55+old and he second marry with a very young girl who is 30 years old they have 5 years kid and he dont have any green idea how deal with kids he is more tyran for his own kid than a father
and Ronald what you meen "There are many schools that cater to students wishing to learn Mandarin in China" you maked me curius what you say here

Konig

Jimmy · « **Reply #7 on:** September 29, 2010, 05:54:49 am »

Your friend is correct in some ways. Many of the women will not care if you are not rich. Most of us here are not rich men, But at the same time most of us here are more than twice your age. So it is the experience we will gladly share with you. But as far as Money as Arnold mentioned it is not a cheap journey.
For starters Go find out what you will pay for a round trip ticket to China, And then you will need food and lodging and naturally you will want to take the lady out enjoy time together learn about each other. $3000 you will spend that during your first trip.
Believe me when I tell you none of us here want to talk you out of this adventure. Most of us wish we had met our wives many years before we did and will wish you the best.
We are all friends and try very hard to help keep each other and new friends like you out of trouble. So if some of the advice seems harsh it is not meant to be.
Only to help you, And sometimes some very harsh things can happen.
After you find the right woman and you fall in love want to be married. you need to travel a little more, Visa's come into play many things and this is when the money part is most important. Most governments will not care if you are a nice guy. they want what they want.
Please do yourself a favor and maybe study the whole adventure start to finish before you get in to deep.
Most of these women are not a scam. But they will steal your heart.

Neil · « **Reply #8 on:** September 29, 2010, 06:59:20 am »

I'm guessing English is not your native language. Can you translate polish to Chinese without using English? Your English is so poor, you are sure to have misunderstandings.

Jan · « **Reply #9 on:** September 29, 2010, 09:16:29 am »

If you are serious like you say you are. Just keep sending messages and learning to know the girl. And ask for more pictures so you will know that she is real too.

And after some time, if you really like her. And have gotten her to understand your situation in life. And she likes it. Then you should fly to China and see her, spend a week or weeks with her. And then you will see how you two really fit together.

You should spend some/a lot of time to study the Chinese/Asian cultures if you havn't so far. There are so many unbelieveable things to know and learn. But in my opinion all those things just make it even more interesting.

Rhonald · « **Reply #10 on:** September 29, 2010, 08:05:51 pm »

http://www.mandarinhouse.cn/standard20.htm

brett · « **Reply #11 on:** September 30, 2010, 10:14:05 am »

Why not get a job in the UK and look for a Chinese lady here? There are tens of thousands of young Chinese students in the UK (and most other English speaking countries). They speak English, are well educated and much less likely to be scammers.

There are so many Chinese students where I work sometimes I think I'm back in Wuhan. I would seriously question why anyone under 30 would want to go down the chnlove route when it's easy to find Chinese women in Europe (or get a teaching job in China - also a good way to find a wife).

Hajo · « **Reply #12 on:** September 30, 2010, 12:26:54 pm »

Konig, as most of the other members tell you it is quite expensive. To be honest, your $3000 will not last long. I am originally from Germany and I know quite a bit about the situation in your country. I am not looking down on you. I am pretty sure you worked hard for your money.

But you will need to go to China twice at least. First time to meet the lady. If you guys agree to get married, you need to go again. I guess a trip from Poland to China is about the same price as from Denmark. That means, you need to calculate $900 for each trip. Then you have not paid for hotel, food or other things. You will need to pay for ticket for your future wife too. There will be a lot of other expenses too.

As some members state, we are mostly older guys with ladies above 30 years of age. I have met young Chinese girls, who are married to a western guy. I am sorry to say so, but they have married them to escape from their live in Chinese countryside. I do not say that they do not love their husbands. But it is clearly that they left China for a better way of live.

I am not saying that you can't offer them a good home, but many young Chinese girls are more and more western orientated. Many of the younger girls want a life like they have seen in TV. Many of the young girls believe Europeans and other westerners are living in wealth.

You can be lucky to find a girl that fits for you. But it might be a difficult task, nobody knows what happens tomorrow. If I were you, I would play with open cards and tell the girl how your situation is at home. There is no reason for you to spend money on expensive airline tickets and return to home with an broken heart.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I wish you good luck with your search for your life partner.

maxx · « **Reply #13 on:** September 30, 2010, 06:48:09 pm »

Konig like the other brothers posted.This is Expensive.If you still have your mind set on doing this.Look at www.chinloveagency.com.It is owned by a couple of members here.And they charge by the month not by the letter.So that will save you some money.They can find you a less expensive hotel.And make it easier to get around China.

Good luck and don't let yourself get discouraged.

Jan · « **Reply #14 on:** October 01, 2010, 05:56:02 am »

Well him going to China and studying or even leaving the country for longer perioids might be hard? If he has a job and a home there.

Money talks... Can't do much without it. And 3000 is a lot over there and even at China. But rest of the world, its not that much. And like others wrote you will need a few visits to China at least. One to see her and get to know her better. And if everything went fine. Second to get married.

But in my opinion just keep writing and getting to know the girl if she seems nice. Get a webcam, get her to get one as well. If she feels like someone special. Go ahead. Plan everything carefully. But many have written that you need to see her in 6 months latest after you have started to write. And I think that is true as well. I've been writing with my girl for ~3 months and I still have few months to go until I can see her.
But since you are young you have quite a lot of ways to do this. You don't need to use internet dating sites. Or you can maybe even find someone similar to this from local dating sites. Or go to China and study. Or go to some other country and study there.
Being a student opens up a lot of ways to continue from there.

I might try studying still as well but I'm not the study type. So its not for me.

I'm still wondering how will things go when I go to China. I get a feeling that she wants to get out of China. But also to find her love at the same time. But I still want to visit China. For her and for the country itself. I can be a tourist at least if things don't go too well.

But please keep writing your opinions and maybe we can help some more. I feel quite a lot of negativity in this thread. But I guess its all to help you realize how things will really go. And what to expect.

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