Author Topic: Communication breakdown  (Read 2119 times)

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Offline Peter Arnold

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Communication breakdown
« on: September 29, 2010, 11:37:46 pm »
Hi guys,
Just need a bit of help with staying connected with my lady Renjie. I have gotten lost twice so far in trying to meet her after work. The first time I didn't pay attention to where she worked when we walked from the bus stop. So I ended up at a service station and the woman there helped me phone her up and tell her where I was . She told me to 'wait slightly'. So I did. We were safely re united.
The next time, I was sure we agreed for me to meet her after work at 5 pm. But she assumed that we agreed she would meet me at the Hotel after work. Apparently she had to meet some people associated with her work in the afternoon. So I was very proud that I was at the pharmacy where she worked well before 5 pm. So I waited and waited across the road because she has been very shy about her work associates knowing of our 'affair'. So I eventually ring her mobile and hand the phone to a young women to sort it for me. I am told to 'wait slightly'. She has since learned to say ' wait a little while'. So she shows up looking quite bewildered and frustrated. Honest to God I thought we agreed to meet at her work.
  Anyway, after telling her I need to buy a mobile phone, she has given me an old mobile she has so she can ring me. My question is, how do I organise to get credit on the mobile phone. Can I just use my credit card and get Renjie to sign me up with one months credit? How do the plans work over here. And also, what sort of shop would sell a BESTA translator as I want to buy one for Renjie so we can speed up the translation process as my BBK AM103 is copping a workout.
  Unfortunately, Renjies Agency translator is in Beijing, and we have to call her up to try and sort things. I have asked Renjie if we can visit Beijing so we can spend time with her translator. Unfortunately, their National China holiday is coming up and Beijing will be too crowded to go until after October 7th.
  This language barrier is a force to be reckoned with. Even her translator has trouble understanding some of my questions.
  Anyway, I guess this has just been a place to vent my frustrations about trying to make headway with a lady I want to get to know better and spend quality time with. We are getting on very well and I think we both want to make it work. There is a lot that I admire about her.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline maxx

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2010, 01:09:49 am »
Peter it works just like Mike said.You cant go wrong with a besta translator.For the cell phone just give your lady a hundred rmb.And ask her to put time on the phone.When yo are talking to your lady or the translator.Use small words.And small sentences.Speak slowly and clearly.Thiere is a good chance your lady knows a little English.You just have to speak it slowly so she can understand

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2010, 01:13:56 am »
You should never get lost!  Have your lady write in Chinese the various places you want to go to alone.  Such as home, hotel, meeting places.

Write alongside it in English.

Just show the one you want to Taxi driver and you will not go wrong.

Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2010, 01:22:49 am »
Thanks mpompo47,
I'll get her to buy me some credit. Thanks for all the input. Glad to know I am not alone in this huge challenge. I have a map of Shenyang city and the Ti xie area which has been helpful. I like meeting her after work so she doesn't feel like she is doing all of the work. Yesterday afternoon at the pharmacy, she took me in and introduced me to her boss, so I am glad she is coming out of the closet with our 'affair'. :)
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 02:47:47 am »
Peter , Lost in a big city , you are having a good time , I noticed that you said that even the translator has trouble at times understanding you at times , but some words do not translate to Mandarin which you will find once you use a Besta it will translate most , but all of a sudden an English word will pop up . As Maxx said use the kis method [ keep it simple ] continuing good fortune , Sujuan and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
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Offline shaun

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2010, 04:58:54 am »
The two most used words Peggy used other than handsome man  :D was slow down when I talked with her.  ::)

Offline Chong

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2010, 07:38:32 am »
A quick solution is an English/Chinese - Chinese/English dictionary at the local bookstore. I brought a BESTA 9200 Mini in Hong Kong. It has Chinese instructions for approx 1,400 HK dollars / $ 200 US. Perhaps hire an university student studying English to act as a translator. You'll find that you two will develop your own signals/body language/"Chinglish" as your relationship furthers.

Offline Hajo

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2010, 12:47:43 pm »
Peter, for the communication. With the Besta, you might be good on your way (I don't know, never used one). My wife didn't speak English too. She had a little translation machine. But the most important part is "Patience" in the communication process. You can be sure of that Ren Jie would like to talk to you and understood by you as much as you want.

As I went to Urumchi, my wife did not let me go outside myself. I choose to believe she was afraid another woman would kidnap me.

My wife and me have been living together for a year now and there are still misunderstandings. I know that the situation is frustrating for my wife too. I just wanted to point out for you that it is a slow process to established a good communication. Believe me, many of us know what you are going through.

I wish you the best of luck!
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Offline maxx

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2010, 06:40:39 pm »
Chong on my first visit to China.I went the book route.My mother in law and my wife.Still laugh about the book I bought. 5 years latter.So I wouldn't suggest the book route.I think the  besta translator.And Peter slowing down his speech pattern.And you mentioned learning Chinglish.And hireing the university student.I think that is the best route to go.

Offline Jimmy

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Re: Communication breakdown
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2010, 11:10:36 pm »
Well you obviously have a computer. And she has a phone. This worked for me. In fact it still does now and then.
I use  http://www.talk2china.com/english/  Very cheap to use.
You can use one of the online translators. Write your message then copy and paste it into the text box send it to her.
She can reply then you copy and paste her reply back into the translator and read it.  It is super simple.
During my very first visit to china, My wife and I actually went to the internet cafe a few times and sat there a couple hours and sent messages to each other and we were sitting right next to each other.
And now we still do the same thing but we use QQ instead of her phone since we both have computers and our desks are right next to each other.

Just a little warning. Be sure and explain to your girl that the translators sometimes make very bad mistakes. And for her to please remember that, because you would never say anything to insult her or hurt her feelings.  This will save you some possible misunderstanding. Sometimes the translators are right on and other times they really suck.
Here is a list of the 3 translators I use most of the time.

http://imtranslator.com/default.asp

http://www.systranet.com/

http://qq.bur.st/qqtranslator.php

All 3 of them have different features. And all 3 of them have a little different translation.
When her and I are talking very serious I will have all 3 of them open in 3 separate tabs.  Sometimes what she writes will just not look right. So I put it in a different one and it will make more sense.
I do suggest you at least bookmark all of them, and try them all, and very quickly you will figure out which is your favorite.

As far as buying one the Systran is the only one I recommend. It works very well and it is the only one that I was able to find that continued to work with no internet connection.
In fact I have recently bought a Netbook and carry it instead of the besta.  It is very handy the net book with 10.1" screen is about twice the size of the Besta. But it is a full working computer and I have found many areas in town with free wiFi.

All this might be more than you need but it has certainly made my life in China much easier. I do not regret any of it.
Jimmy Henson