Too fast?

[R.Ross]

A farm Girl. She can probably do everything you say. And you have spent a few bucks on EMFs. Well we can start with the sincerity via money. Until you have spent at least $1000 bucks she is still ahead of you. These woman pay a fortune just for you to see who they are. And then if you go visit her, she has to pay some more, and if you marry her she has to pay more again. And most of these agencies convince these girls of well I will just say many wrong things. Up until about the time you show up in China and meet this woman, most likely her cash investment is much larger than yours.
Now so she goes to the internet bar. She gives them a couple bucks to talk to you, They show her where she can sit. Now what? She probably doesn't have a clue what to do and at the same time she is scared stiff and a little embarrassed because she doesn't know what to do. And if she had one of those typical Chinese husbands, she is expecting to be told how stupid she is. 
When my wife finally got the nerve to do what you are asking of this girl. We were very lucky she has a son that is a total gamer so he knew exactly what to do so she had him take her.  They are very scared and nervous gals they want everything to be perfect especially the initial meeting. and will tell you NO or put you off until they have the confidence to do it.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, and a lot of sharks too.  So naturally you do what you are comfortable with and what is best for you. I would relax and give it a little more time.
Her talking about marriage very early on, this happens all the time. And she will keep doing it until it happens. Be it to you or someone else. She wants a husband this is well established. So let her talk about it.  This is one of the best pieces of advice I can give anyone. Have Patience, if you don't you may as well give up now. Nothing will happen fast.
Any of these guys will tell you that, I got Married the first half of last January. Still waiting to take my bride home. So take your time enjoy the ride, stop and smell the roses. Don't have so many doubts, keep your eyes open but things aren't always as they appear.

Consider this anyone that has all of the technology and a bunch of pictures just waiting to send you, they already knew what you were going to want.  WHY?
Because there's a good chance they have been through it several times already, because they are some hairy legged translator sitting in an Agency waiting to milk you for more cash.

I appreciate your advice Jimmy, you make a lot of good points.  This girl told me she works for a photography studio, doing photo touch-ups, and the fact that she's young makes it hard to believe she would be tech-illiterate.

I agree that things aren't always what they appear, that's why I want to see what's real and what's not before going further.  I told her in the softest way I could, so we'll see how she responds.  If she can't accept what I want her to do, then I guess we're just not a match. 

Ryan

[R.Ross]

Ok so I totally made an ass of myself  .  She emailed me with her QQ address and  of coarse I hadn't downloaded QQ yet, which somehow takes an hour.  So I called her and stumbled through some terrible Mandarin arrrg... so now I'm going to continue and see where this goes, I need a Chinese tutor 

P.S.  What's the best online translator?  Is it Google?

P.S.S. Can anyone give pointers on how to get to know the translator?  Just add a note at the end or something?

[Philip]

I'm sure she appreciated your efforts. Leave a note at the end of a letter - 'Note to translator.' Say thank you for her/his translations and ask her/his name. It will probably be a her. Maybe ask her a simple question only she can answer.
I asked how can I send a birthday present. But it could be anything, just to establish a relationship.
I don't think anyone else uses it here, but I translate all my messages with 'Linguatec' It is ptretty good. Just google Linguatec, the main page says 'test for free', so I do, all the time. No need to buy the software.

[Jimmy]

Yes just add a note to the beginning or end of one of your letters. If they are worth a damn they will do all they can to help you. ours even gave us his personal cell number. He was very helpful several times.

Translators
I Like   http://imtranslator.com/default.asp  it will translate back so you can see if it is what you wanted to say.

Also  http://qq.bur.st/qqtranslator.php   I like this one it will write the Chinese Pinyin if you want to try and learn to say the words.

And naturally  http://www.systranet.com/  I like this one it seems to be most accurate from what I have seen. It is free online, but if you buy it, it installs on your computer and still works when you don't have an internet connection. Also it works with MS Word and will translate entire web pages. It is suppose to work with IE or Firefox but I have not had any luck with Firefox. The best part was when I decided to pay the $59 and went to buy it and when I got to the checkout part of the order they sold it to me for $25.
There are several others but these are the 3 I use they are all a little different just figure out which one you like best.

[Neil]

Damn Jimmy, you've been holding out.  Why is this the first time I'm hearing about these translation websites?  I love the qqtranslator website.  Bloody slick. 

[Jimmy]

Damn Jimmy, you've been holding out.  Why is this the first time I'm hearing about these translation websites?  I love the qqtranslator website.  Bloody slick. 

Sorry Neil I have only mentioned these 5 or 6 times. But I am glad you see it this time. I like the systran when talking to my wife. I don't need an internet connection. I don't know about other areas of China but it fails here pretty regular. So it is real handy for me.
I was actually thinking of getting a Cheap netbook and installing it. Carry it like a large pocket translator. And still have a full computer.

[R.Ross]

Thanks a lot guys!  All those translators are awesome!  And I love the online dictionary.  Very helpful.

So she has to work all day on Sunday    For those of you guys in China, is everyone working this weekend since the National holiday was last week? 

Then she's going to get on QQ at 10pm her time for a webcam chat.  She said she also had doubts about the agency, but one of her friends found love on the site so she gave it a try. 

Anyway I'm glad we cleared the air and we can move forward without any BS.  I would much rather buy her a cheap computer than spend a crap ton on EMF's though.  So we'll see how it goes...

Ryan

[R.Ross]

Dang it, I should have known better. 

We talked through QQ, she said she didn't have a webcam at work, ok.  We are talking and getting to know each other for a few hours, it's going fine.  Then at the end she finally gives me some natural pics.  She prefaces it by saying If I was looking for beauty, she's not for me.  I'm like what??? Your pictures are smoking hot. 

So she sends me the pics... and I gotta tell ya it's like a totally different person.  You really have to strain to see the same person in the different photos.  I even know photoshop, I should know better.

I don't think I'm a superficial person, but it feels a little deceptive when someone presents themselves one way and strings you along when all along they could have been honest and shown the pro shots with the natural ones from the beginning.  I can't help but feel disappointed.  Not because I only care about physical beauty-- it's just that my whole image of her is changed.  It's like now I finally see the real person and everything before was an act, a semi-expensive fantasy that I was more the willing to take.  It's not like she's totally un-dateable or something, but we're not talking about a date, we're talking about thousands of dollars and a huge commitment.  I feel bad for her too, I can't help but change my mood to her, but I didn't want to call her out on it either.  She's a nice girl and all, but damn.... I'm behind on my work because of this little fantasy ride,  I'm rambling,  Thanks for reading.  SIGH

Ryan

[R.Ross]

I don't want people to think that love can't happen from this site and that there aren't real, forthcoming people on it, I'm sure there are.  But I hope others can learn something from my little fantasy ride train-wreck documented in this thread.  I know I did.

[Arnold]

Ryan , that is one thing we did not mention to you . Sorry it slipped all our Minds . Of course this Photoshop thing is something we all complained about to the fullest here and on the Forum before this one . Actually , we did in a way .. by asking to get " Natural " photo's of anybody's Lady as soon as possible , due to this very thing going on with most Member's here . Some were sooo bad , it almost drove the Men to become Gay .
No just kidding .

But if your Girl is beautiful inside , make that your #1 point and forget the Chnlove Photo's , this was done by them , for them and not your Lady . She most likely just been told to do this and it would be to " HER " interest , when in fact it is not .
You now make a wise decision and hope you don't regret it later . Good Luck Ryan .

[R.Ross]

Ryan,
we all know what you went through, there have been many discussions on here about the photo's on the site verses the lady in reality, and how enhanced, improved, and how photo-shopped they are. That is why we encourage guys to get natural photo's as soon as they can .... also to adjust their thinking to the idea that the lady is an "unknown", because of the translator in the middle problem.
So you can continue with this lady, now that you know who she is better, or you can move on. As always pointed out on here, there are many other fish out there.
Now you know for next time, to not let things get ahead too fast, and to pace it, the expectations, the feelings, all need to be held back, until you KNOW the lady in reality, and you are not just flirting with some fantasy in your head, caused by pictures that are too good to be true, and a translator feeding you a lot of romantic fluff designed to hook you in. As I recall you started talking to this lady about 2 weeks ago, that is really a very short time.

Mike O.

Yup, all true.  Even knowing these things beforehand it's easy to get caught up in the fantasy on the first time.  Being somewhat of a romantic myself made it even easier.  You know the saying, fool me once....

Comparing the pictures, and knowing some photoshop myself... these pictures here can almost qualify as paintings instead of photos.  I'm even sure she's wearing a wig 

I know not all the girls are this faked.  I think a lot of them are only slightly enhanced, like any professional photographer would do with good lighting an equipment.  I got some natural photos from a different girl that weren't that far off.  I've seen plenty of these kind of photos in China before, so I should have known better before getting emotionally involved.  I thought many times it seems too good to be true, but there's always that part of you that really wants it to be true.

To be honest, I was mostly attracted to this girl for her (fake) beauty.  She's a nice girl and we had nice conversations but it wasn't like we had a huge personal connection yet.  I really don't think I can continue with her.  Like you said it's only been less than 2 weeks so not a huge deal really.  Again thanks everyone on here for helping me out, or I'm sure it would have been much worse.  And I still have some credits left    hahah will I really ever learn?   

Ryan

[Jimmy]

As I mentioned before these girls pay a lot just for us to see them. And the Agencies do the photoshopping of them. It is their job to make them as attractive as they can so guys will write to them call them all that. I really don't think the girls want to deceive anyone. But the agencies don't care.  As I said before these agencies are privately owned, and it very unfortunate and a bad way to put it probably, but they run them like a whorehouse. Some of them are very good and will work for both sides, others are out to make some money and that's it.  I won't say all but most cases of the picture doesn't match is not the fault of the girl.

Guys start writing to these girls and get all hot and bothered and keep spending the cash. But a real big percentage never make it to the webcam stage, and a bigger percentage still never make it to China. I do have a couple good examples of this. But I do not dare to tell them until my wife and I are home safe and sound in the US.
And I promise I will because it will hit the fan as never before. But that's enough for now.

Keep trying buddy she is out there and you will find her.  Then the real challenge begins.

[R.Ross]

Haha thanks Jimmy.  Like I said I think the major discrepancy in the photos for this girl is a lot more extreme than most.  This was too far toward deception, and the fact that she had natural photos the whole time, lied about it and refused to send them makes it worse.  I think she is more of an exception than the rule.  Looking back now, everything was a little too perfect.

[Pineau]

Darn .
I wish we were all wrong but it just sounded to similar to other stories on this forum. The exact thing happened to me and a lady (Fengwen). She was not all that good looking either but still acceptable. My problem was the unforgivable deception. Actually I met with her a couple of days ago and we shared a few laughs about it. But in the end I told her that after such a horrible deception we could never be more than good friends. She accepted that but she went home very sad.  After a few similar experiences I gave up completely with chnlove. if you still want to continue with your quest try Ted and willy's  or http://www.chineselovelinks.com/  or http://www.chinalovematch.net or http://blossoms.com/.   I joined all three and couldn't be happier. But still beware of fake photos and ladies with an agenda.

[maxx]

Ryan instead of trying the same thing again.And ending up with the same results.Why don't you try www.chinloveagency.com This is Ted's and willy's site.Ted and Willy are both members here.We have direct contact with them and their site.If thiere is a problem Ted ore Willy can fix it.With a simple phone call.

According to Ted he has met almost every woman.And has interviewed them.And he is the one taking the pictures.So thiere isn't allot of photo shopping going on.If I was looking for another Chinese wife.Ted and Willy's site would be the first place I would look.They are more then willing to take.Allot of the guess work out of this for you.So why do this the hard way? when thiere is a much easier way to do this.For allot less money.