Too fast?

[David E]

Arnold

You are very right in what you say about "inner beauty"....its a very old cliche but beauty is only skin deep and must fade in time.

Sadly, I have a bit of a problem with CHNLove attitude to this sort of thing, and that is reflected in how many of us have felt that the exposure of a totally photo shopped Lady was a show stopper. Arguably, any of these photoshopped Ladies could well have been wonderful people on the inside.

BUT....when you begin a correspondence with a lady from CHNLove, the appearance plays a large part of your decision to begin. After all, it is difficult to see that a Man would begin a correspondence (at some cost to him) with a Lady he personally found un-attractive, or downright ugly...despite her possible internal perfection 

What CHNLove have not got their head around is the sense of betrayal that most guys will feel when the real Lady eventually shows herself and is nothing like the original photos. How then is it possible to say..."OK, I know you have totally decieved me over your appearance, but I will persist with this relationship in case you are attractive on the inside "  From this point, most potential for any relationship has evaporated, because it began with a lie.

Again it illustrates that CHNLove has zero interest in relationships, just use any trick in the book to get you to part with EMF money, knowing full well that for every man that gets sucked in, spends some money, finds out the truth and bolts...there are always many more waiting in the queue for their turn at the fraud machine.

So they must be laughing like crazy at us poor fools......they cant lose !!!!

But the men and the women in this saga are the losers, because I would almost certainly suggest that most of the women go through this deception because they are advised to by CHNLove.."it is the best way for you to get a Western Husband" etc etc etc

David

[R.Ross]

Pineau and maxx - Thanks for the links.  I already signed up for the lovelinks so we'll see.  There was another girl I was talking to at chnlove who has a lot of good qualities and sent me natural pics without me asking.  I just got caught up in the fantasy of the other one.  So I'll use the credits I have left to check out this other girl... then I'm done with chnlove 

David E. - well said.

[Sylvain D]

Ryan , that is one thing we did not mention to you . Sorry it slipped all our Minds . Of course this Photoshop thing is something we all complained about to the fullest here and on the Forum before this one . Actually , we did in a way .. by asking to get " Natural " photo's of anybody's Lady as soon as possible , due to this very thing going on with most Member's here . Some were sooo bad , it almost drove the Men to become Gay .
No just kidding .
But if your Girl is beautiful inside , make that your #1 point and forget the Chnlove Photo's , this was done by them , for them and not your Lady . She most likely just been told to do this and it would be to " HER " interest , when in fact it is not .
You now make a wise decision and hope you don't regret it later . Good Luck Ryan .

I have to agree with Arnold.
Most of the women I have met in China are not like on the photos I could had get before via Chnlove... but well...  they are more beautiful, face to face, than via the photos !
Ok, lot of the photos are photoshopped... And so? the women don't chose to be like that, but they have nothing to pay for that, too... it is a service from the agencies... which "suggests" something to make them more beautiful, or "different" from what they are in real....
Anyway, a photo is a photo.... it is not a face to face. A photo doesn't say how beautiful inside is a person.
And being beautiful inside also very important.... 
From my own experience, every woman I have met in China was very beautiful.... whatever it is inside or outside.
Anyway, I don't think right now I need to change my glasses, because if so, I don't want....
As an old saying says : "love is blind"...  but do you also know "zhen ai"?

[Jimmy]

Your probably right she had them and would not send them. Well then she knew what you would think. Well I am glad you didn't just bail on her right away. And you took it all the way. It has happened to all of us. The right one will come your way.
I knew my wife was the one the moment I layed eyes on the photo-shopped picture. Something about her I just knew. And I just happened to see it while browsing the pictures of the girls, I was getting ready to break it off with the girl I had been writing anyway.
So you just never know what is next.

[Jason B]

my 2 cents on this whole saga

Ryan I feel for you brother, I can not say that I understand what you went through with feeling of being deceived etc.  but as others have said hang in there buddy, there is more fish in the middle kingdom.

Secondly I have no problem with the girls having photo shopped pictures on the website, after all who does not want to put there best face forward when on a marriage site?  I do have a problem with the company trying to use them for personal gain not for the girls gain.  Xia showed me the photos she had done and there was about 50 not just the ones that are posted on the website.  But maybe I got lucky or need to go to the optometrist cause I can tell it is her in the photos and to me she looks like that just without the makeup, but then again who hasn't seen a supermodel/actress in one of those this is what "blank" looks like without makeup on....you would chew your own arm off going by the look of some of them.

[Peter Arnold]

Hey guys and R.Ross,
I went to Beijing and had a very interesting chat with my ladies translator yesterday and I asked a few questions about how the system works. She is only 24 years old, but gave me some good advice.
She reckons the best way to do it is to find one that you like and make brief contact, then if you can, fly over to the agency and meet her so you don't spend big dollars on EMF's. She reckons the only way to do it is like one member has, and that is to meet women face to face and then make a decision without going through the process of committing to someone you don't know well enough. I know I would do it this way if I do it again. Just find an agency where there are plenty of women you like and get in contact with the agency  to arrange it. I reckon you only need 7 to 14 days maximum in China to do this. First time in China can be daunting though. I guess I have been disappointed with my ladies physique and appearance, but she is a very wonderful , gutsy and sincere woman. They certainly will look after you once they know you are sincere and trustworthy. I don't think all of the translators want to keep you on the system, as ours wants to steer us away from it.  I will make another post and give an update on my trip. 

[Jan]

A bit related to this topic:
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/chinese-girls-with-without-their-makeup.html

There are lots of pictures to compare. Girls with make up, without, with some photoshopping etc. Can see quite a lot of difference 

[David E]

Jan

The before and after photos were certainly startling !!!........but I think they are extreme examples of this "black art" !!

What was more of interest was to read the posts on this forum ....what a great pile of offensive, abusive and basically disgusting clap-trap.

For those who want a completely open place here where you can say anything.......please go and gave a look at the site and see the worst it can ever be !!

David

[Kiwi303]

Well, look at the name of the site, "ChinaSmack", if a KKK member was to start a segregationist site to belittle blacks, "NiggerSmack" would have the same effect and meaning as what was chosen for that site.

Who-ever started that site obviously doesn't like Chinese, and probably thinks of them as "slant eyed commie chinks".

So there's going to be a BIG Bias to the type of people joining there and posting. I bet you can guess what I think the bias is likely to be...

[R.Ross]

The before and after photos were certainly startling !!!........but I think they are extreme examples of this "black art" !!

Certainly extreme examples.  I think mine would compare well with many of those.  Of coarse she told me she touches up photos for a living, so I should have known she would make herself into a goddess 

[ttwjr32]

i agree way to the extreme, the person is probably not a fan of chinese ladies but this
also would hold true with all ladies from every country. But i do not think it is as prevelant
here as they are trying to lead people to believe

[Vince G]

They seem to want to lead you astray. I think most of these ladies photos aren't on marriage sites but more on Live Cam sites and such sites.   


Such type of photos goes for anyone. You will find photos like these of celebrities as well.

[Jimmy]

Not really surprising at all.  Look good at the pictures, they are all professional pictures.
Have you ever heard of Starshots, it's a studio where a regular looking woman can go and they dress her and do the hair and makeup and make her look like a movie star. Teenage girls love the place.
And Vince knowing Photoshop as well as he does. I think would agree you can use it and make a beautiful person look bad just as easy as make a bad one look good.
The reason to make someone look bad? Now you can make the after look twice as good.

[chen yan]

Ryan,
to not let things get ahead too fast, and to pace it, the expectations, the feelings, all need to be held back, until you KNOW the lady in reality
no matter which lady you decide on, get to know her on the inside, so many of these ladies are so beautiful in their attitude, personalities, and how they will treat you. Learn about her as a person, this is what matters most in a long term relationship.

Mike , very pertinent advice. above words spent me lots of tears to understand totally. I guess most of us need to experience bad experiences then we know what's the truth then we can prevent it happen again,and learn to know how to find the right way.   
Ryan, are you still live in China? If yes, I hope you could find the local girl in reality instead of spending  time online. If not,You have to open your eyes widely, remember to keep sensible . ask yourself twice at least below questions: do I know her well? Does she know me well?what she like me? A girl also need to ask herself and answer clearly below three questions before she think about getting married with someone.:1. Except married me,what he most expect? 2. Except losing me, What he is afraid of? 3. Except marriage,what's his future plan? If you even cann't answer or convince yourself then slow down your pace.I speak these to myself too.

[Neil]

Those are very wise questions Yan.  I will write those down for my own use.  Thank you.