End of the road

[joeswuhandream]

Excellent post Max
you hit the hammer on the nail as we English  would say
complete, honest ,truth.
 Would be excellent for the newbie's to read ,  before embarking on their  journey to find their  love in china
 well  scripted max well done   

[Pineau]

Chong, Thank you. Well put.  There are some scumbag guys on the loose in China. I do not consider myself one of them.

I did not take any of the comments here a personal attack. There are obviously some strong feelings of protection for Chinese ladies in this group of guys. I feel the same way.

But just for the record...
I don’t know how to say enough that I am sorry without sounding less sincere. But I do deeply regret that feelings have been hurt and people have been disappointed. I will accept the responsibility and try to make up for it moving forward.  I had a chat with two ladies yesterday and they have told me that are now corresponding with American men and are delighted with the possibility of them coming to visit China.  So it sounds like they have rebounded nicely. If I could do something for the woman in Dalian I would feel somewhat redeemed.  So if anyone here has been unlucky in finding someone special, I know a marvelous 46 year old woman in Dalian. I am hoping for a happy ending for her.

I have not lied to anyone or abuse anyone other than to conceal the entire details of my visit. I have always told them that my intention for visiting China was two fold. Look into teaching positions and I AM LOOKING FOR A WIFE.  Both are true. NO I do not consider China a meat market. I have been married to a Chinese woman before and I do respect them.  .

When I mentioned the “interview” I did not mean that I was interviewing them,THEY WERE INTERVIEWING ME. Two of the women showed up to our meeting with a check sheet of questions for me to answer so obviously they had multiple candidates to choose from other than me.   One brought some friends and a translator (human). 

Regardless of whether it is OK to have plan A, B and C, someone got hurt and I don’t like it. If I had followed my own rules of not getting to close this would not have happened. So I choose not to do it any more and I don’t recommend it to others.

China is a wonderful place to find a good wife .  It is also full of women that just want to meet you and get to be your friend.  I met  two young ladies in Beijing who just wanted to hang out with a westerner for a few days. Nothing wrong with that.  I have not asked any of these ladies for sex or to “sleep with me” That is not why I am here. But I wouldn’t refuse if asked. I am getting old but I am not dead.

Pineau

[Pineau]

Now the good side of this.
When I decided to meet this woman in Guangzhou it was because she and I have been corresponding off and on for several months and I sort of promised her I would come say hello and take her and her daughter out for dinner. My first impression of her when we met online was that she looked like a frumpy old school mom from her real photos. And her “good” photos seemed to be “enhanced”  And when we talked on QQ she seemed somewhat immature.   She is nothing like that at all. She is younger that me but having experienced some cruel men (one was an American)  and raising her daughter alone, she is very mature.  And she is far from a frumpy old school teacher. She looks very nice in a pair of jeans.

She is also not stupid. When I told her I was going to leave on Monday , she looked at me and said Gerry don’t  go but if you do go please don’t see any more women on your trip,  and please return to Guangzhou when you are finished.  I was surprised that she had figured it out and knew all along.  She knew already before I arrived what I was up to. She tracked me through our correspondence as I was moving around China. She didn’t know my schedule but she figured out my agenda. After I arrived she did all she could to keep me busy and close to her from morning until evening.  She is a clever lady and I am enjoying getting to know her.  She is lovely and funny and giggles most of the time.  She has taught herself English be watching American TV shows and her broken English makes her that more cute.  She has won me over.  I am going to stay here another week and try to figure out what to do next.

Pineau

[Vince G]

Pineau, sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe you found the reason?

[Chong]

Don't worry about breaking someone's heart. If a woman really cared about you, she would want you to find your true love. There's the old saying ... "If you love him/her, set him/her free, if he/her comes back, it was meant to be". The woman in Dalian is 46 years old, she's had her heart broken before and lived through it. She's only upset because her meal ticket out of China wants to meet another woman. Harsh But the truth.

Maxx, it doesn't matter if a woman spends two/three/six month's salary to be listed with Chnlove. If a guy comes over and there's no physical attraction, it ain't going to matter. I experienced this firsthand. When I went to Shenyang, I knew that the lady's father forked over money to the agency. We just didn't click.

Finding a woman in China is like 'speed dating'. You have a chance encounter on the street with a lady [ as you described form your experiences ] ... well, you have just one minute to like her or not ... because then she's gone forever if you don't make your move.

The bottom line ... what works for one guy may not work for another. As others noted above, nobody's right or wrong ... just opinions.

Pineau ... take your time in GZ, you don't know when you'll be back soon. Good wishes.

[Scottish_Rob]

........"If you love him/her, set him/her free, if he/her comes back, it was meant to be".

NOW I UNDERSTAND.....

[ttwjr32]

Well it looks like some good might come of this good luck!!

[ttwjr32]

Well its good to know it worked out well for you. Is this the lady from Guangzhou or Dalian?

[RobertBfrom aust]

Thanks Ted , that was going to be my question to , regards Robert .

[Pineau]

This is the lady in Guangzhou and her daughter. I have photos of the Dalian lady I will post later today.

[Pineau]

The lady in Dalian goes by the name Vivian. We first met on CLM so if you want to contact her then search for a vivian in dalian.
She is 46 years old. She is divorced. She has a 22 year old daughter away at the university. Her english is not good but we had no trouble using my laptop when we would meet. She also sometimes used her daughter on the phone. She is charming with a welcoming smile.  Her are some photos of her.

Honestly she has been my first choice since i first met her on CLM. If not for the promise to come to Guangzhou to meet this woman here I would still be in Dalian.
Pineau

[Arnold]

You two look like a wonderful Couple there and she does come across as a very Honest and the Smile on the Photo shows a Happy Lady inside . Hope this will only go to upwards for you now .
May the Smile on your Face match her's .

[Pineau]

Back home now in the USA. I slept about 48 hour trip counting layovers and lost bags. I took another sleeping pill ans d soon be sound asleep dreaming about my trip. I went all out on the trip and ran my plan right up to Guangzhou where the lady made me stop. I am glad she did. It took about  15000 miles and $12000 , headaches. dysentery and a major ear infection. My calves are hard as a rock and my ankles are twice their size as before. But I was on a mission. I did not want to do this more than once. I was convinced and determined to meet the ladies in person and get through the fake players and come up with the best choices for me. I had planned to meet 14 women between Beijing and Gillion and points getween. I only got to 8 of the 14 then the lady in Guangzhou stooped me in my tracks. Mission accomplished. With her, we were communication on all levels. while we are apart we can fill in the blanks and I can settle up things with King and sell the house.  I am planning my next trip over to see her. By then we should have all of the issues solved. I am almost certain we are going to get married during the New Years holiday.

[David E]

I think you have properly explored your various oiptions and so happy that you got a wonderful result............well done !!

One thing you mentioned that leads me to comment....your rock hard calves and swollen ankles.

For those of us "mature" travellers, whose circulation is probably less than 100 % nowadays, it is always a good idea to invest in a good pair of pressure socks for long distance flights.
They are not expensive and prevent this pooling of blood in the legs and feet which is a major risk factor for Deep Vein Thrombosis.

The incidence of this problem is quite high for people who fly for more than 8 hours non-stop and is caused by the pressure altitude in the aircraft cabin being at about 8 to 9000 feet.

DVT can be fatal if any blood clot formed breaks loose and travels internally.

Cheap insurance against a major risk

David

[Martin]

[quote author=David E link=topic=2747.msg47048#msg47048 date=1288336067
One thing you mentioned that leads me to comment....your rock hard calves and swollen ankles.

For those of us "mature" travellers, whose circulation is probably less than 100 % nowadays, it is always a good idea to invest in a good pair of pressure socks for long distance flights.
They are not expensive and prevent this pooling of blood in the legs and feet which is a major risk factor for Deep Vein Thrombosis.

The incidence of this problem is quite high for people who fly for more than 8 hours non-stop and is caused by the pressure altitude in the aircraft cabin being at about 8 to 9000 feet.

DVT can be fatal if any blood clot formed breaks loose and travels internally.

Cheap insurance against a major risk

David
[/quote]

You are not the first person I have heard mention this.  When I was in China the first time, Peter was there, and he also mentioned the same thing to me.  I am glad you brought this up, because it is excellent advice!!!