Well after 2 weeks of complaining to the internet service company, a tech arrived late yesterday to repair it...just in time for me to leave...
The issue with internet service in this city has been a drain on my mental capacity...My ex-girlfriend called 4 times to ask when it would be fixed over the past 2 weeks...the reply was "
when the service tech gets there".....I simply must get used to a simplistic manner of thinking, or try to phrase my questions better...either way there are still issues with my VOIP phone, hopefully when I move back to a modern city these issues will resolve?...I have been told that my connection is 2 megs....but several bandwidth tests suggest only about 1.3 at best....my phone needs at least 2 megs, preferably 4 for a clear line without echo or static. I had 15 megs back in the states...guess I was spoiled.
anyway....So again we spoke again for some time about everything and the more I think about it the more have concluded that I do need to make a break from her in the sense that I am giving serious consideration to that I will move to Zhongshan, which is still close enough that if she wants to be friends with me..or as suggested she will have to make an effort to come see me, or I go see her...I am still undecided, but think it best like everyone is saying... the problem is that when I was here to visit last time, I preferred Xiaolan as its a smaller city, much less traffic and noise.
On the flip side, Zhongshan will present many more chances for me to meet a real woman and has all the things I need to work and live well. Also its more likely that I will be able to locate a school or private tutor to start learning Mandarin. The school I was going to attend in Guangzhou is too far to travel from Zhongshan and Guangzhou is not where I want to live.
I know most of the members that read my posts are only reading about my complaints...that is what I have currently to cope with. But understand that while she does have several personality flaws (myself included) she is not all that bad of a person....she is simply not mature enough to understand many, if not most of the things that trouble me....especially the fear to commit to anything. She did invest over a year talking to me in letters, she is not looking for a plane ticket to leave the country, and she does have good morals....she NEVER tried to use any sexual moves to motivate me for anything.....sadly, those would have worked on me, for sure I would be bankrupt now if our relationship was physical. But actually she is conservative especially for a younger girl....she has a good heart, she is a decent lady (with issues) and I have never been one to burn bridges.
I would also like to mention that I am not without my flaws as well, and she has been very understanding. Many times I have placed my entire foot in my mouth, accused her of things that were either translation errors or actual cultural differences. I know many of the things I have said to her were rude, maybe even hurtful...but she always forgave me and rarely would ever mention it again....unlike an American woman who will FOREVER bash you for these mistakes.
I will be forced to make a choice today or tomorrow at the latest as to where I live. I have to give consideration to a larger picture and think carefully about my next few steps. Today I plan to have another conversation with her sister, she is more upfront with answering direct questions....its hard for me understand this "face" thing right now where I ask a very direct question, with explicit instructions that I want a very direct reply even if if will be rude and all I get are replies that side step the question being asked....this will require me to demonstrate much, much more patience and improve my "listening" skills. I am a direct talker, even for an American I will often times be pretty direct about how I feel and this is another reason she is not pleased with me....understandably.
Today I am packing and planning with lots of things on my mind....this was not what I wanted, and I truly believe that the choice to come to Shaoguan created so many problems, that our relationship was never truly given a chance to work before the stress of everything ripped us apart. Sadly over the past few days we have been able to talk better than at any time since I arrived, she is open to me, stays calm when I ask her to clarify things that do not translate well and she even cooked me a really nice dinner last night. She still does not want to date anymore so I do not think she is trying to work her way back into my life...I think she is now finally allowing her true nature to come out now that there is no more stress on us, and she knows that she is moving back to where she is comfortable and has a network of friends. This is why I am torn about where to live.
I told her point blank that if were friends I will date other woman if I meet somebody, and she understood but still said it will not stop us from being friends....Like I said, I hate to burn bridges....undecided
