OK, so been a long time since I posted here...and I think that is a major mistake, because now I need to get some advice...QUICKLY!
Short story, met a beautiful lady over a year ago on chnlove. Things were working out great, had some issues (to be expected) and after about 10 months I finally went to China to meet her. Overall it was a good impression, she is young (25) and this had me concerned but she did not think this was an issue..I am 39. So after 4 more months of chatting together and having some serious conversations, I asked her how she felt about me moving to China so that we could continue our relationship. It took some time to work out the details, but she agreed and I packed up my life, sold off everything else since I was planning on moving to China to stay (even of things did not work out with her) and as of October 1st...I left the US.
So about a week before I was to leave she decides that she wants us to move from her town (Xiaolan) to where her sister lives (Shaoguan) so that her older sister can live with us because she felt it would be safer (understandably) and because her sister could help us with problems when we needed...and I must say her sister has been a huge help with helping me to get all sorts of things done...including getting the apartment, and much MUCH more...she is a really good person and I am thankful she is here with us.
HOWEVER....the lady I came to China to live with and develop a relationship has turned out to be a nightmare!!! I am actually thinking she has a MAJOR case of Bi-Polar disorder. Her moods go from happy as a kid in a candy store one day, to an absolute bitch the next for reasons that I simply cannot explain
Since my arrival all she argues with me about is money related issues. I have paid for
EVERYTHING to get us into the apartment, deposit, first months rent, cable, internet, ...etc! In the beginning I told her that I would not pay for her sisters share of the rent, but after the first couple of weeks of her doing virtually everything like cooking, shopping, and cleaning I told her sister that she did not have to pay me anything....besides that its a trivial amount of money to me, but her help has been worth twice the cost of her share of the rent.
She got mad at me because I was not giving her enough for "girlfriend allowances" which I was giving her 1200 RMB per month (200 more than what her sister said I should give) she wants me to give her 2000 RMB because that is supposedly what her last boyfriend gave her? She is constantly saying that it my responsibility to pay all the bills, plus pay for when we go out with her sisters friends to dinner...which many times I do, but often times they refuse mu offers....which she gets mad at me for when we come home. I have purchased many new gifts for her and have taken her out to some really nice places....even went to a high end club with her sister and friends ...ran up a 1300 RMB bill for the night!!!
Yet still, she thinks I am stingy and that I am disrespectful to her and her sister because many times I have to ask what things cost...I cannot understand Chinese yet, and often times prices are not on items...what else am I to do but ask? She thinks I should just know these things I guess.
She sleeps until 2pm, does not have a job, rarely ever cooks or cleans, watches TV or plays on the internet for most of the day...and IF I am lucky, she will pay attention to me for a few hours. There is hardly ANY affection and she often times says...I am her boyfriend but she is quick to tell me that until we get to know each other better....I should consider her as "just a friend"......she is a total one way street!
So after I end up going off the deep end and writing her a letter that more or less explains my MAJOR frustration that she
expects ME to pay for and do virtually everything in our relationship I said to her that I also have some expectations of my own, for starters I expect her out of bed and ready to have lunch with me (I often eat alone while she sleeps) and that I really need her help understanding the Chinese culture when it comes to what is proper for me when we are out with friends or other similar issues....at first she is open the helping me, but after a few days she stops. When I ask her why , she says point blank..."its not my job, you dont pay me, I am not your teacher"...
So after two really intense says in the same apartment where we have barely spoken a word she now tells me that I am stingy with my money, that is unhappy with me because I am rude and that I have no right to "Expect" anything from her just because I pay for everything....then she says she wants to break up with me.
Ok, so I am now in shock at this time, I give her some time to cool down and make an attempt to get some explanations as to her attitude and asked her if she truly wants to break up and move out of the apartment. She says that it depends on my "attitude" and my reply to her letter. (we still use the chnlove services for important letters) ....Now her is the kicker. She has no money, she has no job and no savings to move out. Her sister WAS the manager of a beauty salon and hired her sister, who I guess pissed off the owner of the business and fired BOTH of them!!
So now I am living with 2 ladies who are not employed, her sister has some savings and her boyfriend gives her some money...but in the end, she is basically stuck with me and just tonight told me that so long as I am in China that she is now MY RESPONSIBILITY to take care of!!..WOW
At this point I am freaking out. I do not even know what to think, or do right now?? She actually thinks that she can break up with me, still live with me and expect me to continue to pay all the bills AND she still thinks that I should giver her a monthly allowance as if she was still my girlfriend. I have no clue what to do? I can't just toss her out, but if she is really going to break up with me...I feel no obligation to pay all her bills AND an allowance as well. I would like to think that we can overcome our problems, but after what she just said to me...I am not sure that I want too?
So, now what? Do I just say, ok you have another month I will pay the bills but by the first of December move out? I mean I paid for the apartment, I have all the receipts and I am registered with the PSB as a resident here. The cost is really not a problem, but I am not sure I want her here anymore. Her sister is also fed up with her, and she supports my view for the most part and is also stuck in a hard place as well. She might move in with her boyfriend but she does not want too.
Some ideas my brothers....I am lost. REALLY need some advice.