Some more of my musings. Trying to make some sense of the culture I find myself surrounded by....I suppose it's to be expected that when we enter into any new culture especially one as seemingly incomprehensible as China's that lots of stuff can seem annoying or offensive, couple that with the language barrier and it's all to easy to become overwhelmed as some have found out. Understanding the reasons why people behave in certain ways can certainly help take the edge off those feelings.
Here's one that anyone who’s spent time here knows all about and one that I've been trying to get to the bottom of. Chinese people can be some of the most generous and accommodating hosts on the planet,so why is it that the same people who display warm, inviting, and consistent hospitality and graciousness in one situation can display unapologetic heartlessness in another? All you have to do is step outside to experience this. In most public situations be it on a bus, driving in traffic, at any train station or supermarket we see them pushing and shoving being rude, impolite, and inconsiderate on a grand scale.
From my experience of Chinese society so far, how you stand in relationship to someone else defines how you should and shouldn’t relate to them, including your degree of obligation.These different relationship categories fall roughly into family and close friends, guests, important connections, and strangers. "Zì ji ren" insider and "Wai ren" outsider are two of the most important concepts in Chinese society and they make clear distinctions between the two. A person with an insider status often enjoys privileges and special treatment beyond an outsider’s comprehension. So understanding this distinction is important for us to learn. We also need to recognize not only where we are in relation to others but also, more importantly, whether this relationship is situated in an in-group or out-group context. The notions of insiders and outsiders seems to be an integral part of the Chinese self-conception. You also have to factor in guan-xi and face, but that's for another story!
Chinese responses are usually based on the nature of a pre-existing, specific relationship. The only other principle that might guide behaviour towards strangers is the Chinese ‘Golden Rule’ of Confucius,who is attributed with a statement in the 6th Century that "One should not extend harm to others which one would not wish for one’s self". This however is in the negative and prohibits harmful acts rather than promoting helpful ones. It is quite different in its consequences from doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.
This apparent lack of compassion for the stranger is highlighted by the biting cynicism directed at any would-be "do gooder." Why, if someone does dare to help, are they automatically viewed with suspicion and often assumed guilty? Why are altruistic motives the least likely of all possibilities? Here’s the most quotable Chinese explanation I’ve come across so far....
" To Chinese, social work always looks like “meddling with other people’s business.” A man enthusiastic for social reform or in fact for any kind of public work always looks a little bit ridiculous. We discount his sincerity. We cannot understand him. What does he mean by going out of his way to do all this work? Is he courting publicity? Why is he not loyal to his family and why does he not get an official promotion and help his family first? We decide he is young, or else he is a deviation from the normal human type. There were always deviations from type, the … “chivalrous men,” but they were invariably of the bandit or vagabond class, unmarried, bachelors with good vagabond souls, willing to jump into the water to save an unknown drowning child. (Married men in China do not do that.) Or else they were married men who died penniless and made their wives and children suffer. We admire them, we love them, but we do not like to have them in the family.
It doesn’t help that playing for public sympathy is something of an art form in China, and apparent victims can incur a similar level cynicism and distrust.For example the story of a crowd of onlookers who side with an out of town driver of an expensive car rather than the poor local pedestrian who was "seemingly" run down. In the crowd’s view, the pedestrian deliberately got “hit” by an expensive car in an attempt to extort rich outsiders for compensation money, an allegedly common practice.
So where do we fit into this structure? "Laowai!" I hear it sometimes as I wander about. It's slang for "waiguoren" meaning foreigner. Waiguoren would directly translate to "outside-of-the-country-person." It's logical, and should suffice to describe foreigners. But laowai? A direct translation of this word I came across reflects the true feelings of some Chinese toward foreigners. Lao, a common word meaning old, can also be used to express "old friends." In other words, friends for a long time, or always. The second half of the word means outside. Direct translation: Always outside.
There is seemingly a schizophrenic attitude to us here on one hand Chinese companies are willing to pay high prices for fair-faced foreigners to join them as fake employees or business partners "White Guy in a Tie" events." Then there's this from the China law blog.....
"I was attending a banquet hosted by a delegation from a foreign [not for profit] organization that’s been in China for a long time, and has maintained a good relationship with the Chinese government. One of the guests at the banquet was a local academic who was helping us understand the government’s attitudes towards foreign organizations.At one point, a delegation member asked the scholar “what does the government think of us (the organization specifically). It was assumed the answer would be positive. Instead, the scholar, without hesitation said “They hate you. “But you are useful to them".
