Author Topic: My Tale of Two Cities  (Read 4118 times)

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Offline Rhonald

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My Tale of Two Cities
« on: November 09, 2010, 12:07:36 am »
It ended the best in time but it was almost the worst at time, it was the age of wisdom, but nearly the age of foolishness: Let me elaborate on our interview of November 2nd at the Canadian Consulate in Hong Kong.

Our appointment was for 8:30 am and because of previous trips to the consulate, we made sure to be extra early because the atrium had always being packed when we arrived around 8:00 am. We got to the consulate at 7:40 am and once out of the elevator on the 12 floor, we had about a dozen people already waiting in front of the Consulate's door. By 8:00 am when the security personnel opened the doors and prescreen the clients, only about 6 more people had shown up. So far it looked like a quiet, non typical morning. After the guard made some announcements in Chinese, such as no friends to accompany applicants, we soon moved from about 12 place to only one couple in front of us. So just after 8:05 am we were inside holding ticket stub no:2. With a precheck from the receptionest who asked if we had a translator with us, we were told to sit down and wait.

Now when I arrived in China I consulted with my wife if we needed to hire a translator as her English is not strong. We can only communicate with basic English instructions. She told me that I could be her translator and since I thought that the consulate would wish to see how we coped with day-to-day communication, I thought that this was a good plan. I also did not have much money to afford such a luxury. Warning to all those whose wife does not have a good grasp on English - Bad choice as in - "nearly the age of foolishness"  :-\

It wasn't until about 8:50 before we saw the monitor light up with our ticket number to enter the interview room. During our waiting only a few people were sporadically entering the consulate and being assisted. Most were only applying for a temporary visitor visa and one girl for a student visa. I believe we were the only ones for a spousal visa. Never did a line up materialise like on previous visits. Like I said - it was a slow day, and thus led to our later good fortune.

When we entered the small one chair room, we said hello to the Visa officer on the other side of the glass partition. I do not recall if he introduced himself with his name. I can only assume he was Mr G. Wallace since that was the name on my RCMP clearance request from June. He asked me to step outside as he would 1st question my wife separately. After only about 30 seconds I was asked to join them. He told me that he was sorry and would need to reschedule our interview. He said that he had asked my wife two simple instructions and she could not comprehend what he had asked her to do. With the glass partition even I sometimes had a hard time clearly hearing him. He said that it was clearly mentioned on the interview request letter that if she could not adequately speak English or French, that a qualified translator needed to be present. I said that I had mentioned to my wife the need for a translator and her response of me being her translator. The Visa officer said that I would not be an impartial translator since I had a stake in the outcome. He also explained, as I listened with sinking heart, that the interview slots were assigned very far in advance and the next available time would not be until February. He apologised for his decision but stated that it would be unfair to make a final decision on her visa request now without a proper interview. Great I thought, an other major delay.

Trying to salvage something from this messed up visit, I asked if at least he could share with us some concerns he had with our application. After all, he had requested an interview so if we knew some concerns he had, maybe we could have the required information or documents needed when we came back in February. I also asked - and thank God for once, my big mouth - if one concern was that on her application we had her biological parents listed but that she had been raised by foster parents. This startled him and he soon questioned me more on this and started to enter the information onto his computer terminal. Those who had not followed my previous story from last year's October trip, during our wedding ceremony my wife was requested to go to the Shenzhen Police department for an interview. They had questioned her on this specific topic and I had always thought that it was the Canadian consulate that had instigated the request. The Visa officer said that they had not even started anything on our application until this year so the directive must have come from the PRC government and not Hong Kong. He was now curious and asked us to hold on for 2 minutes. He came back and said that he had asked another personnel from the consulate if she could assist us and act as a translator. Who said that curiosity killed the cat? because or interview was now revived and so much very alive  ::)

Only because it was such a slow day in the consulate did we get this saving grace. Soon our Angel arrived and she quickly entered our discourse steering our interview back on course. We filled in the blanks about my wife's past and I was once more asked to exit the breach. I closed the door and sat solitaire outside that compact interview room at the back end of the main consulate waiting area. For a good 30 to 40 minutes they grilled her behind that door. I could hear a smattering of a few of her responses in Mandarin, and once I even heard her say Calgary. Hum good idea what the question was asked of her just then. And in all this time the main area had very few comings and goings - yes a very much slow day indeed - and the clock hand ticked painfully its plodding matching pace.

Startled out of revery, my wife told me that the Visa officer needed me back from Solitaire confinement. He told me he had a major concern before passing judgment. From our letters and from what I had previously told him, my wife had never been married and her son's father had only causally ever know her. He told me that now in the interview she had confided in him that she had in fact lived with her Son's father for 2 years. Also that the father was not already married with another woman as I had believed.  :'(

What is LOWER then a LOW BLOW? I can answer that but no words will do fair justice to this sentiment. Let us instead say that I Languished in Anguish. He said he was sorry to tell me this and asked of me to ask her why the difference in our two tales. It was also a chance for him to see how we communicated together to resolve our differences. I tried to gather more information from her because for sure, I was desperate to understand. Why this discrepancy and why NOW. I found out that she was involved with him from 1993 - 1994 and shortly after mid 94 after the birth of her son she cut of communication with him. She said that she had found out that he was involved with other women and did not want anymore to do with him. I felt the welling of tears in my eyes because with this revelation now, at this time that we would be denied. Two years of them living together would be common-law status and our application would be incorrect. One to two years before an appeal would be heard and chances are, once labled as perjury, our appeal would be denied. I heard the death knell of our marriage as I saw no other course.

He asked one final question of me and stated that in these situations they usually never question the sponsor's motives, but what guarantee could I give that once she arrived to Canada with her child, that she would simply disappear? Into the mist of tears I bravely stated that I could not give a guarantee. I mentioned that I follow a few immigration blog sites and I have read other horror stories and was well aware that it could happen. I said that from the times we spent together these 6 trips I made, her affection for me felt real. We seem to get along very well and that others have stated the same about us. I was sure that our relationship was real but that I was also not so blind that I did not think it could not happen to me.

He said that he now had enough information to make a decision, and I hung my head in shame to hear his denial only to be flabbergasted to hear the words "I approve this Visa application"!...........WHAT

I like to think I am a clever individual but I was found out to be Dumbfounded. Heck..... I would have denied our application, and yet we were approved. I do not think I have ever felt such mixed and mixed up emotions. Elation and confusion dueled with despair. Disappointment at my wife also entered the fray as I thought how close we came to not crossing the chasm.

The bus ride back to the hotel had us holding hands and me asking for more detail to understand what had just happened. If I had been less shell shocked I would have understood better and as the day passed and we were once again back in Shenzhen, I confirmed with my English speaking friend Guang Han. Be aware fellow travelers that even with a translator you can get the wrong information. The Chinese word for stay and live is the same. I should have known this because many times when we travelled to a city in China, my wife would ask in her Chinenglish "what Hotel we LIVE in". So instead of living with this man for 2 years, what she meant was because he was a travelling business man, when he had business in Shenzhen, he would stay with her. And that over a two year period she came to find out that this man had other mistresses in other cities he travelled to. She had heard that he had made other ladies pregnant and that she would have nothing more to do with him. It was only now that she felt comfortable reveling the true nature of her past.

Sorry for the long story, but if my telling can help save someone else grief, then it was a fair trade. So gents make sure that you have a translator on board and that your lady is clear on her dealings. The Visa office is the wrong place for new revelations. And from asking my wife what other questions was asked of her, she mentioned that a few times the visa officer would ask if she joined the dating website because she wished to get a visa to immigrate. Everytime it was asked of her she said NO - that she joined the website to find a husband.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2010, 12:29:39 am by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Arnold

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2010, 12:31:09 am »
Man Rhonald , this was by far the hardest thing I have had to read and my Heart just about quit beating there .. til I got to the end of this Story .

Your writting has always thrilled me , but don't do that again !

Offline Rhonald

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2010, 12:42:07 am »
Believe me Arnold - I now wish for simplicity - but I have already started this journey and I feel indebted to finish it. There are a few more quibbles left to sort out before we can see her visa, but the main hurdle of passing the interview is now over. I have told the main part but we still need to find out from the Visa officer if we need a letter from her Son's father to get permission to take the boy out of China. The last time she heard from him was 2004 when he phoned her to ask to see his son. She refused him and she told me that if the Government needs the letter, she has no idea were the father is.

The household registry shows that she has had sole custody of her son and the Visa officer needs to clairify if that is enough for the Canadian Government. I have learned to hold my breath for long periods of time. I think I could become a great pearl diver.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2010, 10:39:08 am by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Arnold

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2010, 12:59:06 am »
Really , it doesn't come easy for you .
Your Wife must know her Ex's Business Name/Company, I'm sure he owns a Car and has a License .. these are some places to start looking . The Police , I'm sure are not interested to help you with this , unless she files some kind of charges against him . But then again so much time has passed , too late for that too .
If it is in the Divorce agreement that your Wife is to take care of the Child , he is out of the Picture . In my case Qing has that right and does not need the permission of her Ex to bring her Son here to Calif. Check on that . Didn't he abandon his Son , does he still have any right's regarding this matter ? I will ask my Lawyer if I see him about this one and see what he says .

Offline David E

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2010, 01:18:23 am »
Thank goodness I can speed-read.......

I had to gallop through your post because I had everything crossed for a happy ending !!!

Same as Arnold, My heart missed many beats for your predicament.

But all's well that ends well...and as far as I know, the entry of custody on your wife's family book is as good as a Court Order.

To quote another famous few words.....

"you had a bunch of guys about to turn blue here "

David

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2010, 02:05:01 am »
Hell Rhonald , I had to go out halfway through reading your serial , and nearly arrived home with a speeding ticket , ha ha , wanting to read the next paragraphs , so well done to you both , now you are home only 2 more tickets to purchase , regards Sujuan and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
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Offline mustfocus

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2010, 02:22:26 am »
As the others have said Rhonald, good story but very dangerous to one's health.

So what's the projected timeline for when you'll have her over here?
梦醒时分 - Meng Xing Shi Fen

Offline Chong

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2010, 05:30:40 am »
Well, I knew your outcome from the start but I didn't expect to go on a roller coaster ride beforehand. Thanks for a very detailed account of your interview, you will save many future headaches for guys.

Soon, Yan & her son will be in Calgary with you. All the best.

Offline JamesM.Roberts

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2010, 10:30:18 am »
First off Rhonald - I would like to thank you for sharing your story- I know opening yourself up can  sometimes be painful, and I know first hand what it's like to suddenly be thrown for a loop, or as you put it "Languished in Anguish" (there's a country-western song title) :D
There is a lesson here for me and anyone who hasn't made it to this point yet. As I believe it was your honest reactions and your honest answers that saved the day. I am happy for you and want you to know that I will remember the lessons that you have shown us. Thanks again for sharing this. James
Anyone can pick up an apple off the ground, but the sweeter ones take a little work to get to!!

Offline Irishman

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2010, 06:28:47 pm »
Wow Rhonald, my heat was in my mouth reading that!
So glad it worked out for the best in the end.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2010, 08:12:02 pm »
Rhonald I felt stressed out just reading your story so I can imagine what you were going through! I'm really happy for you both and after all these trail and tribulations you deserve some smooth sailing for a change! The end is in site my friend not long now  ;)

Offline shaun

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2010, 09:42:12 pm »
Ron, a great story, but hard on the old ticker.  A nurse had to revive me twice.  :o  No really I hope it is smooth sailing from this point forward.

Vince G

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2010, 09:46:48 pm »
Rhonald I felt like I was reading a screenplay? I am not looking forward to days like that. But like me you opened your mouth and got things going. Bravo

Offline Rhonald

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2010, 10:41:49 pm »
Well my wife finally got a letter from the consulate after our interview. It does not have the request for a new medical with it so I am now figuring on another major delay.

Instead, because of her revelations with our interview, she has been asked to submit an official letter stating that she has never been married before. She needs to supply a notarized birth certificate for her son. And she has been asked to have her son's biological father supply a letter for no contest to taking her son out of China, as well as any court order regarding to her son's care. If neither can be provided then she has to explain why.

Her household registry shows her as sole guardian of her son. The last time she ever talked with the boy's father was in 2004 and she has no idea where he is now. She has never meet any of his family members since he was a business man from far away Nantong and only lived in Shenzhen briefly for business.

My wife has been to a lawyer to get a letter prepared to explain her problems in tracking down the father, but of course, now we will enter a new period of wondering how our case is proceeding. I am now thinking we will be facing another 4 to 6 months before finally this is resolved with the next letter asking for a new medical followed with finally a request for her passport.

At least she will miss our cold winter here this season. It got to -27C today in Calgary.
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Arnold

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Re: My Tale of Two Cities
« Reply #14 on: November 24, 2010, 01:35:09 am »
27 minus degree's ... brrrrrrh , it's cold enough to turn into a Ice Sculpture .. but Yan's Love will keep you from ever freezing up no matter how cold . I bet your Strings on the Pipa are frozen solid . haha  Oh and please wear your " Hat " .