my love story

[Arnold]

??

Jealousy=Poison.. ones more! This really must be bad, for you to jump out of the circle "Love" so quickly?

Sad.. sad it truely is!

[LP]

so sick of this one-sided relationship, i cant have friends, my wife is to jealous, time to give-up, ive had enough

    When you say I can't have friends John,is this women friends or men and women? Sammy is jealous too.She have this crazy idea a young woman will come and take me away from her.She said that in China some men leave their wife for a young woman.I tell her I will not do this too.It took me a long time to brake this thinking from her.It isn't one hundred % broken.But it much better now than when before.

[maxx]

You all need to slow down.Nobody told you that it was going to be a walk in the park.Tell the tale.We can probably get this worked out for you.I remind you of rule #2 Different country different customs.Live her life.Know where she is coming from and what she has had to deal with.

[Martin]

Wow, that brought back memories of my marriage. When I read the frustration in his post, all my bad memories came back.

[Willy The Londoner]

Maybe we should all back of a while until John feels he is able to explain his current predicament.

We are starting to make assumptions here without knowing the full story.

We certainly do not know what 'traits' his wife is showing CB

He may have written what he did in a moment of anxiety or frustration.  So lets see what he wants to tell us about it.

Willy

[JohnB]

"And pictures are not an absolute requirement
 here. They serve no purpose in helping people
 who are thinking of doing this. Already heard
 about the ones I did post and it was not a
 good thing!"

CB,
I think you are a bit over sensitive to a non- issue.
I think it is great that you have a slug of posts strewn out & about this forum. It does not matter if a few are nonsensical...other posts are very informative. It sort of awoke a lot of people! Brings out the passion of a lot of the members here. Doesn't it?
Well, getting to the personal side of what you wrote. I, for one, think your wife is very attractive. That's what I think. & it is apparent she must be very cerebral considering she married you. A huge plus!
Now, isn't that what this forum is all about?

[Arnold]

John thanks for the compliment on my wife. Appreciate that. She is the one who doent want pictures posted all over the net. So I will abide by that. That's all

What a good answer that was. Congratulations.

Willy

Now.. now you two. I see eyebrows raised here between you two, please take you difference's that don't belong under "Love Stories".. which I see none off.. to the PM or leave it at the WC.

[Willy The Londoner]

Its OK Arnold there will be no more comments from my side now.

My recent contact with CB off the forum has been very informative and eye opening.

I apologise to John1964 as his problem is definately more pressing than petty squabbles.

Willy

 

[john1964]

Hi guys and girls, Willy, you was correct that my last post was out of sheer anger and frustration, My wife does not like me having QQ friends as she says Chinese women can be unscrupulous and will do anything to find a foreign man weather married or not, A QQ friend of mine sent me a kiss as a joke , she is younger than me and i have no interest in her or any other woman but my wife, MinYing saw this and was furious, so all hell broke loose, anyway i have calmed down and explained to my wife that this was a joke and nothing more.
I reminded my wife that I travelled to China 7 or 8 times to be with her and her only, Never before in my life have i travelled abroad to be with a woman, she often needs reminding that she is my one and only, she is in the thinking that some younger woman will steal me away from her.
MinYing has not had a job for some months now and is bored staying at home so her mind is wondering and playing tricks on her, I leave for work around 5;30 every morning and arrive home around 4--4;30, if i wash my hands before i come home then she thinks i have been to see someone else, when she had a job she was happy and content and her mind was at ease, A few days ago she started a new job and i can see she has changed back to her old ways, very loving and affectionate,  , Well this is not the end of our relationship just another bump along the road, To those 2 guys that sent me a private email i thank you, its good to know that there are people here who have had similar problems and are willing to help, John

[Willy The Londoner]

Well I for one am very pleased that things have normalised so to speak. 

Do we all get angry and frustrated at times however much we love our wife, of course we do. We would not be human if we did not.   You should spend 10 minutes with my wife driving to see that come out in me.

The fact that she was not working at that time did play a big part in her thoughts.  Chinese ladies in particular like to feel they are playing their part in the financial aspects of marriage.   

Willy

[shaun]

I'm glad to hear that everything is back to normal whatever that is. 

[yvictor]

so sick of this one-sided relationship, i cant have friends, my wife is to jealous, time to give-up, ive had enough

I felt the same way sometimes - we've been married for three years now, and as time goes by I feel that my wife gets more and more controlling and that makes me mad on occasion.
But then I realize though that this is something I can manage, and she is controlling mostly with things that are in our best interest, and that calms me down.
Just like you, I also made her upset when I talked to ladies online too much - she told me "Imagine the opposite - if I talked a lot to guys online, how would you feel?" and I realize she is right, I would feel bad...

[john1964]

Just like you, I also made her upset when I talked to ladies online too much - she told me "Imagine the opposite - if I talked a lot to guys online, how would you feel?" and I realize she is right, I would feel bad...
[/quote]

Yvictor, my wife does talk to men on-line, here in Australia, I dont have a problem with this, but she has a problem with me talking to others 12,000 kilometres away,  , John.

[Arnold]

[quote author=john1964 link=topic=2801.msg64409#msg64409 date=1374811021

...... my wife does talk to men on-line, here in Australia, I dont have a problem with this, but she has a problem with me talking to others 12,000 kilometres away,  , John.[/quote]

John, without me getting too personal.. is your LaoPo talking to those Men for Business or other reasons?
If it's for "other" reasons, your Wife needs a good talk/scolding from her Parents (Mom) regarding what she's doing to "Her" marriage. Get in contact with them somehow and let them know this is happening. That it is pulling you two apart if not stopped soon.
If it's for Business, well then.. she has an "Excuse" in a way.. but I'm sure it's not to find somebody else and I'm also sure you know this too. Anyway, if "Mom" can't help and point this out.. then there needs to be another third party to get involved to help you two.

I've been through the jealousy grinder for many years myself, only my patience has kept me from loosing it. I did drive myself sometimes for hours away from home, just not to get too upset and make it worse. Which is funny, I'd spend a night away ( Vegas) and after I called her before I was on my way back.. my late wife's tune had changed all of a sudden and the jealousy part was forgotten for now at least.. when me spending a night "Away" should have made her actually even more jealous? It is hard to figure out some Women for sure and yes I'm more than lucky that Qing is nowhere even near my first wife. It had to do with being 12 yrs. younger and I knew it and adjusted the best I could to the situation. You need to do the same, til' it turns over to a better page and it will. Be patient, back off and not force the issue.. your Friends will wait this out with you.. if they are real friends.

[David E]

Just my 2 cents worth......!!

I DONT talk to ladies on internet...period.

If I did, my wife would be justifiably livid and also would feel let-down, hurt and above all , bewildered.

We jointly have a number of friends, male and female and talking to them is no biggie...its a joint thing.

If I found my wife talking to single Men on internet, or QQ type stuff, I would be VERY snarly.

We made a vow that we want to be together because we "have forsaken all others"

We neither of us have any need to explore other relationships, we are happy enough with the one we have together and have no wish to test it or spoil it.

It may be 2013 and all emancipated and liberal...but form way back, you cant mess with a relationship this way.

I think if a couple have a need to talk to other single people , then thay best do something to get their relationship in better shape.

I dont believe there is any such thing as a friendship with single, potential partners from within a marriage.

But then again, I'm an old fashioned grump, and that's my view, Happily, that view is shared by my wife !!!