Author Topic: my love story  (Read 121775 times)

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Offline halfpint

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Re: my love story
« Reply #75 on: January 22, 2011, 11:03:08 am »
In 6 days my girlfriend arrives in Canada for a 20 day visit.  I've been thinking about how great the 1st few days will be, being a tourist in Vancouver.  I love the city, Stanley Park, English Bay, Granville Island, Robson Street.  You are reminding me there will be an end.  Have to keep my enthusiasm in balance!
My qin ai de is in Shanghai, and I'm not

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Re: my love story
« Reply #76 on: January 22, 2011, 11:41:04 am »
Why do we hurt so much ? John , believe me .. many here Married or not had their share of the pain .. you're feeling now . Maybe we are all crazy , but now this is for other's to think of " us " now .. as we know that we have found the most wonderful Woman on the Planet . Curb your Pain and comfort your Wife in her pain the best you can .. firstly and be strong for her . Do what I did , hug your Pellow at night and dream it's "Her" . ::)

Offline David E

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Re: my love story
« Reply #77 on: January 22, 2011, 06:33:44 pm »
No John...we are not all crazy !!

I am sure we all had some realisation at the start of this long, difficult and torturous process that there would be many hurdles to overcome along the way.

Maybe we (me for one) did not quite realise just how difficult it would be, financially, practically...and of course, emotionally.

But having got this far, we have no choice but to live this pain for a few months (maybe more than a few months for some) and have some level of certainty that it will all pass.

Spare a thought for Rhonald who is into his second year of a dreadfully long process...and yet we see that Maxx, Martin, Irish, Scott and several others have completed this part of the "journey". Others like me, Shaun and Mike are also in the waiting stage.

For none of us is it easy.

I prefer to see it as part of the "glass half full/empty" syndrome.

I miss my Ming and when I get lonely.....my glass is half empty. But when I look forward to the years ahead when we are together...then my glass is half full !!!

So for the moment, there is not much we can do but go with the flow...at least we have a place full of like minded Guys where we can sound off about it all...that helps a lot to know we are not alone in this difficult time.

Keep smilin'...all will be well ...eventually  ;D ;D
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 06:39:17 pm by David E »

JOHN1964

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Re: my love story
« Reply #78 on: January 22, 2011, 08:39:55 pm »
Thanks guys for the support, Nice to hear from the ones that have gone through the pain, It is a little easier.
A little worried about MinYings passport now as she told me that it has not been delivered back to her as of yet, It was sent from the Beijing embassy on the 18th and still not in her possession.
Monday i will contact the Beijing office and make sure that it was sent back to my lao po,
I have already made plans to return to my bride in late April if for some reason we are not successful with the visitors visa, Even if the visa is granted i will still return with MinYing to China to apply to lodge the papers for the permanent residency visa.
Rhonald in the second year of the process ?, I feel for you, I really do, Lets all hope it can be resolved quickly and you can live your life happy every day.
Just keep my self busy and remember that in China i have my bride waiting for me and missing me also, I know that i am not the only one going through the pain of separation as MinYing tells me the same every day, Again thanks for your input guys, It means a lot and i am thankful that there is such a web site for us all to tell our stories and read about each-others travels,
This site has begun to be a daily thing for me now and i , like others do enjoy the daily read and can relate to many a stories that i have read here, Thanks again guys.
regards from MinYing and John.

Offline Rhonald

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Re: my love story
« Reply #79 on: January 23, 2011, 01:57:43 am »
Why does it hurt so much, Why do we choose to love and marry a lady from a non English speaking country?, Are we all mad?, Why do we put ourselves through the pain?     

It hurts because it is suppose to hurt. We are mad because we wish to achieve something that is so different than ordinary means. The language of the country that our soulmate resides is irrelevant because LOVE speaks its own language and translates into action by our choice. Why the choice of pain?

Well ....... for this path that we follow, it must have arisen from some desire in us to make a grand statement. Perhaps the quest was for mending a broken heart or desire to find solace, but whatever the reason, our grand desire imparts this debt that must be paid with tears. Only through the pain and sorrow can we know that it is real. So our journey will be filled with great joy as well as sad departures because all great stories are written about LOVE and LIFE indeed.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 02:04:20 am by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline Irishman

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Re: my love story
« Reply #80 on: January 23, 2011, 02:20:55 pm »
John, you are not crazy at all. I read your posts and like many others here know exactly how you are feeling, its tough and hard but we all get through it in the end. The waiting is the hardest thing we all have to do on this journey. The past 4 months have been torture without my lao po, before that it was six months between visits.
You just have to keep your eye on the eventual goal - one day she will be living with you, one day you will wake up beside her and it will be the first of many days like that :)
On Wednesday I finally fly out to China and this time my laopo is coming back with me, would I change anything?, nope!
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline Bee964

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Re: my love story
« Reply #81 on: January 23, 2011, 05:24:28 pm »
John,

I too leave for china on wednsday morning. I have had the thought of when the trip comes to an end on my mind the past week. I guess that it will be something that we will all have to face at some point in our relationship with these women.

Rhonald,

I feel for you brother. I hope that everything gets moving in the right direction very, very soon.

Dave C
Life is like a jar of Jalapenos-- What you eat today will burn your ass tomorrow!.

JOHN1964

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Re: my love story
« Reply #82 on: January 24, 2011, 08:57:15 am »
Hi guys, how pissed am i,??? please forgive the grammer tonight.
minyings visitors visa was rejected for the following reasons
marriage certificate being issued 8 days before the visitors visa
using Chnlove as a translation site,,,(unacceptable)
not knowing my personal e,mail(we only use chnlove)
not being to pronounce my children's names correctly
the applicant not being to speak or write English
the applicant not remembering my birthday,(solar or lunar calendar,?)
not living together before marriage,,,(minying is traditional lady and we never shared a bed unless we were fully clothed, until our last night together in Beijing in late September, we were totally committed to our relationship at this time.
could not supply a phone number for the place she works at,,,only been employed there for three weeks, it was on the application, she had to call her place of employment for the address,
although the person who was conducting the interview was satisfied with our relationship being genuine she still rejected it, I have a chance to appeal here in Perth and tomorrow i will go to see what i can do,
they even doubt our way to communicate,,,
for the last three months i have been taking one on one lessons to understand the Chinese language,,,my language skills have been greatly improved over the last month with no one else to speak English with.

i have 70 days to lodge a application of appeal,,,no doubt i will be doing what i can tomorrow,
HELP PLEASE GUYS AND GIRLS
MinYing is so far away and i need help
regards fron MinYing and John

Offline mustfocus

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Re: my love story
« Reply #83 on: January 24, 2011, 09:32:48 am »
Hi John,

Before you go appeal, I would suggest that you take a day or two to calm down.  Heading off to the office to do the appeal while upset could cause more issues.  It looks like there are a number of issues the visa agent took issue with.  Some of them look like nit-picking (the jobs part), but some of them could look suspicious to them.  I see the sticking points to be the personal email/using chnlove only parts.

If you have evidence to bolster your case (for example, receipts or report cards for your mandarin lessons) or the opposite (proof that she is learning english), then I think things will work out.  That and teaching her your kid's names would definitely make things easier.

Believe me, I would like to see you and Minying united, but going off half-cocked could cause you more problems in the future.
梦醒时分 - Meng Xing Shi Fen

Offline David E

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Re: my love story
« Reply #84 on: January 24, 2011, 03:33:59 pm »
John

Have you made application yet for Minying to come to Aus permanently ???

My Lawyer told me that I would likely NOT succeeed with visitor visa for my Ming unless we had made application for her permanent visa.

This has little to do with any specific relationship issues, but is part of their "unwritten" policy to not grant tourist visas to "single" women from anywhere. They feel that until you apply for permanent residence, the relationship is likely not genuine and she may disappear into the woodwork when she gets here as a tourist. What they are dead set paranoid about are the "arranged" marriages where Aussies are being paid to get into a sham marriage for the sole purpose of getting a foreign woman a PR visa. Once she arrives with PR visa, she leaves the Man, waits for Citizenship, and then brings all family and rellies over !!! With regret, there are too many pointers for them in your relationship that lead them down this false trail (in your case)

If all else fails, she is more likely to get a Tourist Visa as part of an organised Tour...which may be a way out for you.

Once you have made application for Permanent Residency, the Tourist Visa is not a problem any more.

I can see that they would have some negative vibes based on the sole communication between you being via CHNLove. They would worry that you did not get off this model and into your own "private" communication together. It is yet another reason to dump CHNLOve as soon as posible and get on to QQ etc.

Remember, they are ONLY assessing her Tourist visa AS A POTENTIAL TOURIST, and as a potential "bolter" and not as your wife. Until you make application for Permanent Residence for her, they will tend to view it that you are not not really man and wife.

Can you see their logic...if you are Man and Wife, it is very strange that your wife does not know your birthday, the names of your kids, your email address, and cannot remember the phone number or the address of her place of employment......and has almost no English, and you applied for Tourist Visa 8 days after a wedding, but did not apply for a PR visa. We here know that that is no biggie...but they dont see it that way. To them, these are BIG RED FLAGS.

I am told by my Lawyer, that if they have small concerns about the genuine nature of the Tourist Visa request, they usually ask for you to deposit a hefty Bond to ensure she will return to China. If they have big concerns, they reject the application without the option of a Bond.

My only advice is to get the Permanent Residency Visa request submitted as quickly as you can....and then get the Tourist Visa, would likely be much quicker than a 70 day appeals process...and much less stressful.

In the meantime, you must begin to do all the "conventional " things they want to see....QQ, emails etc...and please, do yourselves a favour....teach her to speak in English for some of these important things that a wife must know about her husband....then you can satisfy the beaurocracy !!! Because , my friend, THEY will want to see it done their way, you have no choice in the matter. It will be very important to demonstrate the reality of your relationship when you apply for PR. They dont care about love or emotions...only about realistic evidence of the relationship.

As a matter of interest, Ming and I had 1100 pages of QQ transcripts over a period of 14 months and I took a screen shot of her face every time we were on QQ together, a total of 320 screen shots...and I sent them ALL with our PR application...(data overload  ;D ;D). We also had 106 emails between us to and from our private email addresses.

Good luck...but stay cool with them, dont cruel your future chances by getting aggressive.

Cheers...David

ps...I f you want to discuss further, PM me, or phone me if you need to.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2011, 05:21:50 pm by David E »

Offline Irishman

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Re: my love story
« Reply #85 on: January 24, 2011, 07:43:05 pm »
John I think you need to speak to an immigration lawyer. I don't know about Australia but in Ireland if a visa rejection is appealed and the appeal fails its pretty much the end of the road barring some serious heavyweight help behind you.
You need to try and keep calm and do it right, I think a specialist immigration lawyer would be money well spent at this juncture.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline auburnkp

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Re: my love story
« Reply #86 on: January 24, 2011, 09:00:47 pm »
John,
I read your love story and it is beautiful. I am very sorry that your tourist visa did not come through. The US government, ever since 9/11 has made it much harder for a person to bring a love one over. I went through the fiancee' visa route and it went quickly. I was lucky enough to go back and see my fiancee' three time before she eventually arrived in the US. When we when for our interview, I was a bit nervous, but it all turned out okay. The only thing that the immigration officer initially was worried about was that I got married in Las Vegas. Luckily I told him why we did it that way (cheap and fun) and showed him pictures of friends and family there. That eased his suspicions that my wife is just marrying me for a green card. Keep your head high and your wife will eventually be by your side forever. I know it is tough, but stay positive, I am praying for you!

Keith
AuburnKP

Arnold

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Re: my love story
« Reply #87 on: January 24, 2011, 11:33:11 pm »
John , as other's .. very sad to hear about your Lady's Visa . You received some great advice here , as I myself would add .. like Irish , do it through a Lawyer ( one with a good reputation with China/Australia Immigration background .
I see , that the ones that do it by themselves .. either think it's ( easy ) or to save some dough . Either way , after investing $$$$ already finding the Right One .. why not go on and do it Professionally with the Paperwork .. instead of having it go sour and see all the spend money go to the wayside .. even if it's only temporary .
I certainly wish you two better Luck on the second attempt .

Offline halfpint

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Re: my love story
« Reply #88 on: January 26, 2011, 12:08:08 am »
John
 
My girlfriend was able to get a tourist visa for Canada.  Obviously our systems and circumstances are different.  Nevertheless I thought itth\ help if I told you why I think she got the visa.  We supplied all the information they asked for and then added lots more.  We gave pictures of ourselves together, copies of our email chats.  We were meticulous with the details, ensuring everything was correct, to the finest detail.  We each wrote a letter, explaining our lives and our relationship.  We were completely honest in every way.  This was a chosen approach, we knew the odds were against us but it worked.  I don't know if that helps, its my two bits worth.

Alan
My qin ai de is in Shanghai, and I'm not

JOHN1964

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Re: my love story
« Reply #89 on: January 28, 2011, 07:12:41 pm »
Thanks for the advice guys, I am going to employ a lawyer for the process of spouse visa instead of the visitors visa,
The lawyer agrees the reasons for rejection were a bit lame but they also said that i should not have listened to the immigration about the visitors visa and just applied for the spouse visa straight away, I only wanted my wife here for the three months to be close and then apply for the spouse visa as soon as she was here, A victim of wrong advice.
MinYing is disappointed as i am but she told me she will be patient and practice the pronunciation of my families names and she wants me to return to her as soon as i can.
As for getting rid of chnlove, Cant do as her English is poor and she has no computer and there are no Internet cafes in her city, I know as i asked many people and searched high and low, My Mandarin improved ten fold in the month i was there and my tutor here in Perth is totally impressed with my knowledge of the language, The lawyer tells me that this will go a long way towards the spouse visa as anything to prove our love for these women and to show that we are also trying to break the communication barrier goes a long way.
Well it is bloody hot here in Perth right now, Nothing like the minus ten or so in Handan but i would gladly give up the warmer weather to be with my lao po any-time,.
Good luck to every one here with their own visa process and for the ones in China now or are about to depart soon , I AM JEALOUS.
Regards from MinYing and John.