my love story

[maxx]

John you really need to get away from Chnlove.You and the wife are headed for a big wreck.If you keep using Chnlove services.Your wife agency is getting ready to stick it to your wife.And demand all kinds of stupid money.I know this because.I and the other members have seen it happen on numerous occasions.

Either send your wife a laptop.Or the next time you are over thiere buy her a laptop.And get internet hooked up where she is living.If you buy it in China.They will show your wife how to use it.They will show her how to use different translation programs.John this is really something that needs to be dealt with.I know the agency is acting like your friend.But they really arn't.They only do this.So that they can collect thiere money.And they don't care how they collect the money that they think they are owed.

[JOHN1964]

Ok guys, MinYing has qq that she can access on her phone, I too have opened account and have just successfully sent her two messages,
What else can we do on this qq site?
       Signed dumb and confused, I mean i am dumb and confused, Not my wife, Please dont tell her i said that ,

[David E]

John

Good one !!, now she has QQ on her phone, you can both get used to sending simple messages at regular intervals. The real bonus comes when you have QQ on a computer, you can sit and talk live, with sound, video and typing for as long as you want at no cost. Ming and I have at least an hour a day on this. Because our clock times are the same for China we dont have the same problems that Bros in USA/Canada have with weird different times.

Minying can also have a Chinese/English Translator programme open while you communicate on QQ, she can instantly translate your typing into Chinese...you can do the same with her Chinese into English.

QQ has an archive facility so every conversation you have is saved "for the record" and you can even take screen shot photos of her for more proof of relationship. Using QQ in this way is also a good way to get her English up and running, in fact, that is what Ming and I do all the time. I ask her to find and memorise 5 words each day, then we discuss meaning and pronunciation.

I dont know if "mobile QQ" has this archive facility.

Like I said, over the course of our relationship, we have over 1000 pages of QQ transcripts as evidence and over 300 screen shots...bit hard for them to argue that we dont have a relationship !!!!

After you apply for spouse visa,,,you can get a tourist visa for 3 months with no trouble.

If you have not chosen a Lawyer yet, you might want to contact Charles Wu at Australian Immigration Services.....I know him well and he has done my Spouse Visa....I can send contact details if you need them

Good luck...David

[Neil]

My girlfriend sends and receives most of our messages via her mobile phone.  she's quick and thorough.  we have intensive conversations, not just simple messages.  I've become quick at copy/paste/translate - reply/translate/copy/paste - repeat.  She writes in Chinese since it's easier for me to translate.  We rarely have troubles communicating.

Apparently there's a way to do a video chat and choose a local video file that you both can watch at the same time - tried that once with Ed, but was never successful with my girlfriend.  I'm sure it would require both to be using a computer with a broadband connection. 

I just checked - 543 pages of qq messages.  I'm half the man David is. 

[David E]

Hahaha Neil....that's not true...it's just that I talk too much...been told that before !!!!!

I also tried to get in synch with QQ to enable us to watch shared stuff...but I crashed also...could't work it out !!! We are able to each have our own video...ie, I can watch her in another window, whilst she can see me on her computer...but if, for instance, we want to watch a U-tube video of Perth together, there is a way, but I cant find it !!

[Rhonald]

I'm half the man David is.

Well David was only half the man that Goliath was and look where he got to .... So I say Rock On Neil.... and wish all the best on this trip.

John I wish the best outcome for you.... I know how easy it is to lose your marbles when immigration slings it to you.

[JOHN1964]

My love story,,What can i say?, About April the 20th 2010 i found a web site called Chnlove,,Never had a problem with this site but a lot of you have,,,guess i have been lucky,,,Many admiration letters but no one that i clicked with,,,Hmmmm,,, MinYing came along and everything changed,,,The truth is i was only looking for a holiday to China with no strings attached,,,  She seemed so sweet and we got to talking ,
before we knew it we was exchanging information every day, We got to know each-other very well,  We first met in September of 2010 and we hit it off pretty well, She told me that i was"very lovable".
I am here now, Some Three weeks after we parted company and i feel so terrible,  My mind wonders to think that she is with someone else when i am not with her but at the same time i trust her without condition,,,My ex-partner did the dirty on me so i have trust issues,
Not fair on MinYing i know,,,But so far apart.
Why do we choose to love a woman from so far away and to want to adjust to their way of life?
My MinYing was so upset that she could not come here to Australia for the "visitors visa" that she cried all night and all morning before i left to come home, I too wept with my wife with the feeling of separation and if the truth is to be known,,,,i would never joined the chnlove site.
The pain of separation is overwhelming, I asked myself "why did i not find myself some one here in Australia?,
Was not meant to be but it just happened, 
Love has no boundaries and will strike when ever and where ever, BE AWARE,
I would not trade one minute with my MinYing, Take as many photos and videos as you can, It helps so much with the separation,
I am planning my next trip to see my wife at the end of April or in May as we both feel the pain,,,,

Thanks for the shoulder to  cry on , MinYing and John

[David E]

Why do we choose to love a woman from so far away and to want to adjust to their way of life?
 "why did i not find myself some one here in Australia?,

Probably because she would be 25 kilos overweight, would have her hand permanently fixed into your wallet and would be working out how long it would take to get half your assets !!!
And if you were real "lucky" you might get sex once a month !!!

Yes John...we all have some pain to get through....but it does end eventually...and what a prize you get at the end of it. That's what keeps me sane just now.

I dont know about your "trust" issues, but if you are going to spend the next 8 months or so agonising if MinYing is faithful to you, then you are in danger of cracking up...and also in danger of such feelings affecting her. Better you deal with it as soon as possible...for both your sakes

[Jason B]

totally agree with you David, get this out in the open if you have not told her already.  It will eat away like a cancer and it is probably over nothing but thoughts of ALL women being like the ex, yours sounds like mine and if I am to be honest I would still be married to her if she had not cheated.

You will just have to plug away trust each other, believe that there is an end in sight and that one day you will be together forever.

It is going to be hard, I am trying to prepare myself for this eventuality but I guess nothing ever will.

[Bee964]

What else can we do on this qq site?

John,

I think you can send videos to each other as an mpeg or other type of video file. My lady, Ling Ling, has sent me pictures and music files through QQ, One music file was 80 or 90 minutes of yoga music so the file was quite large. It did take several tries to get the full file but it did come through. You just use the send a file icon at the top of the window, I think it it the 3rd one from the left and select the file to send her. She will need broadband and a computer. I don't think this will work on a cell phone. I have not tried to send a video file yet but I do not see why this would be any different to send and receive compared to pictures or music. Sometimes you have to resend the file a couple times to get the whole thing but the download picks up where you have left off. I hope this helps you out.

I too have trust issues due to my ex wife so I know how you feel brother. I work hard to keep my trust issues in check. It is not easy. When you have found the right woman she does deserve trust from you.

Dave C

By the way, I have well over 1500 pages of QQ messages with my Ling Ling. Printing them will be a nightmare.

Dave C

[shaun]

While I agree with David and Jason, John, each time I came back it took several weeks of adjustment for me to settle.  I struggled with jealousy and trust but perseverance and honesty prevailed.  I talked with Peggy about it.  Even now whenever I do not talk with Peggy for 2 or 3 days I struggle.

I keep a mental list of pluses and minuses when it comes to this.  On the minus list is the times she has called me by another man's name.  She really only  knows two Western men.  Me and the other is her brother in law.  I get called by his name occasionally.  Then there are the times she does not show up, usually with valad reason after the fact and when she is gone for a couple of days and I can count that on one hand.

On the plus side is that we have talked at least 2 hours almost every night since October 2009.  Dang that is a long time.  When I am off from work we talk twice daily.  (Added 2/7)  I look to Peggy's complete devotion to learning the English language on her own.  She buy's Cd's and books to read.  She keeps a notebook on what she is learning.  We work on pronunciation almost everyday.  She is learning my habits and she adjusts to them.  Funny thing.  She will take a trip on a bus to see family.  She will tell me to call her on her cell phone once she gets on the bus.  I ask her how should I know when she is on the bus?  So she will call me to tell me she is on the bus and ask me to call her now.  It absolutely cracks me up.

Bottom line the plus list much much longer that the negative list.

The problem we have is the distance. We can't see what they do or where they are at so we think the worst.  But you can break that cycle by realizing the reality of what is going on.  YOu can do it.

[David E]

Shaun

I never felt that you were into the insecurity "thing" or had any doubts in the area of fidelity with your Peggy ??

Until this subject popped up on the Forum, I had never given one single thought to whether or not Ming is "two-timing"...I guess it is incomprehensible to me that she could even think about it.

Maybe that is naieve...or "fat , dumb and happy"...I dont know.

But I sure do know that the green eyed monster of insecurity and jealousy will kill a relationship stone dead if you allow it.

We also speak every night on QQ and on the rare occasions she cant make it, I always get a text on my mobile or an email...before the event....and if I ever get stuck in ameeting or similar, I would always do the same for her. So we have no friction or misunderstandings. I sure dont want to proceed into this relationship on the basis of the previous ones...this one is special and does not play by those rules !!!

David

[JOHN1964]

Thanks for the comments guys, you are always a great help to me, Thinking about the trust issues all night long and i really think i am over reacting, This woman and i have been communicating for nearly ten months now, My first trip to meet her was cut short by her fathers dissapointment for her meeting a western man,,She persisted with the family and won the battle, We are now husband and wife, If she was to "two time" me then why would she persisted with convincing the family i was the one for her,, My problem is the distance apart, Most of you know how i feel,, MinYing also writes me that she is feeling the pain of the loneliness especially at night time, when she is in her apartment with her room mate.
The qq is a daily thing now, I use translation software all the time both ways and it is never 100% accurate and we have a few laughs at the out come.
I called her on Friday just to hear her voice and she also wanted to repeat my children's names to me to see how she is going with the pronunciation,  WOW was i surprised, almost perfect, very understandable now, she is such a quick learner, Even Mama said hello to me on the phone and the last few letters i got from MinYing she has wrote that her family feel regretful that they could not care for me when i had pneumonia, They are wonderful people, MinYing has written that when i return we are to spend a few days at the family home to be better acquainted, Father always worried me but after the family dinner i think that mama calls the shots and dad is really a gentle man. 
Sean, you are right about the plus list being longer than the minus list, Without fail she writes me every day, She sends messages to my phone, She always picks up the phone when i call and i can hear in her voice that she is thrilled to hear my voice again,
I just have to cope with the loneliness for now and keep smiling every time i get a message or letter and remember there is a beautiful woman many miles away that has me in her thoughts every day.
The Chinese lessons are making more sense now, Still a very complicated language with one word having multiple meanings but MinYing and myself had a conversation lasting 15 minutes ,, New record, Practice new sentences most nights and listen to the EAR WORMS cd,s that i brought from dymocks book stores in May last year,,I think these cd,s are great, I would suggest them to anyone that wants to learn basic Mandarin, Really helpful and well worth the $50 i paid for them, I can count to 1000 and tell the time and even order drinks and a meal, They also keep my mind occupied and i can hold a basic conversation with my wife, She tells me that she is proud of me and this keeps me wanting to learn more each day.
This web site is also a great way to pass the time and vent my feelings, Love following the posts too and see where every one else is and i have spent many an hour here reading with a smile on my face and also writing my own contributions here, This is a great site to be a part of , Lets hope that all our dreams come true and we live happy long lives with our Wonderful, Beautiful, Loving, Caring Chinese wife's.
Regards from MinYing and John.   

[maxx]

John and Shaun I think David E is on the right track.And he has offered some good advice.The only thing I can offer.Is what my wife would tell me.The past is the past.You cannot change it.so why worry about it.Forget it  and move on.

One of the main reasons i decided to marry my wife.Was she came with no emotional baggage.Yes she had a couple of bad boy friends.And a abusive father.But she never expected me to treat her like her other boyfriends did or like her father treated her mother..And I never have.So maybe the secrete to the trust issue.Is to forget how bad the ex wives and the ex girlfriends have treated us.And trust in are wives and girlfriends.Until they have proven themselves unfit for that trust.Kind of like a new day.With a new beginning.

[JOHN1964]

thanks Max and everyone else for the comments, Like i said, I am over reacting, I do trust this beautiful soul and she has given me no reason to doubt her, I had a bad experience before and will not let it ruin my relationship with MinYing, I know she has 100% trust in me.