I really never thought about dating a woman from another culture, race, nationality...., untill 18 months ago. I was a member of another dating website. I was not very happy with the type of woman that was available there either. I was always getting the question, "What does your bike look like?, What kind of bike do you have?" When I would reply that it was a purple 18 speed mountain bike they would come back with, "I am talking about a motorcycle not a bicycle." I do not have a motorcycle. I don't think I will get one either. Too many aggressive idiots on the road for me to ride a motorcycle. Anyways, so you get the idea of the type of woman that would write to me. The ex-biker chick type. I don't have anything against that type of woman either, it is just not the type I was looking for. There were other "interesting" women too but there are on any other site as well. Interesting meaning strange. There were perfectly normal women too but they would not write back. Kinda made me think it might be me that is the strange one.
One night in june of 2009 as I was trying to check out the new women on the site I accidently clicked on the chnlove website. My first thought was to get out of the site and go back, but as I read the information I thought why not put up a profile. It was free and then I could check out the women there. I had always been fascinated by the eastern women anyways but I never really thought about having a relationship with one. Anyways, I thought about it and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea about having a relationship with a chinese woman.
After several days I decided to check out the website again. I was a little shocked to see that I had a bunch of admiration letters sent to me. It was around a dozen or so. On the other site I would get maybe 1 or 2 every 10 days. And I would almost never get a responce to the letters I sent. Well I read the letters and also checked out a lot of profiles. I picked out a couple to send notes to to see if they wanted to write and also answered one of the admiration leters. I ended up narrowing it down to one woman and it was one of the admiration letters. After several months I told her that I was getting things ready for coming over to meet her. I had even been aproved for a leave of absence and I had filled out the chinese visa aplication and made arrangements to bring it to the consulate in Toronto. I almost got everything ready when out of the blue I get a letter from her and while reading it I got a different feeling from it. I had to read it several times before I turned to my daughter and said to her," I think I just got a Dear John letter." She read it over and said that it was not very clear but it kinda sounds like you have. After a couple days it was clear that it was over. Within a day or so her profile was removed and she was gone for good. (I have only just found out in the past couple weeks that I think it was a translator trying to generate revenue for the agency she worked at. I found the woman on another website. I got it in an email sent to me as new matches for me to look at. I may put up more about this later.)
I was hurt but I was still in the game. I took a couple months off the search and then jumped back in. It was about this time that I found this forum. I read everything I could to try to find out if I had said or done something wrong to this woman. So armed with a lot more information and advise I decided to reactivate my profile and start over again.
I started writing to a chinese woman that had moved recently to Singapore. We wrote EMF letters for several months, talked on the phone, texted to each other... pretty well everything I thought that I should do. I decided that it was time to meet her and booked my trip. She showed up to our meeting quite late, but I thought that this may be due to nerves on her part. We decided to meet again the next day and spend the day together. We had breakfast together and then she wanted to show me around Singapore. What she really wanted was to take me shopping and for me to buy her expensive gifts. I flatly told her no. We did see eachother a couple times after that but I knew there was not going to be anything come of it. I did have a great time there though.
Well, I returned home and thought that another break from the search was in order. After taking about 6 weeks off the search I started looking again. I was contacted by several women. One woman was one that I had writen to almost a year before. After a couple letters I got the feeling it was not her talking to me but it may be a translator trying to make a little extra cash so I quit writing to her. Meanwhile I had been contacted by another woman.
YanLing had writen to me an admiration letter and I, at first, was not going to answer it at all. Every time I went to the website for the next several days I would take a look at the letter she sent to me. (More on this later) Sitting on the bed one night after a couple drinks I thought, what the heck, write her back. I would always look at the letter and reread it. There must be something that has caught my attention, so I responded to her letter. It was several days before I got a reply from her but she sounded sincere and she had given me her email address and QQ number in the letter. (I had asked about these things and others as well for more direct communication) My first reaction to seeing the QQ number was,...this is different. Her second letter she is giving me her QQ number, but she did say that she would be a couple weeks before we could talk on QQ.
From that time on I would start up QQ and then leave it running and just watch to see if she signed on. We exchanged a couple more EMF letters and then one night I saw her on QQ. I knew she was at work. The message board pops up with the words "Hello. This is YanLing." My heart skipped a beat and I kinda froze up a little. I didn't know what to say. Finally my fingers got around to moving and typed back, "Hello, this is Dave. How are you?"
My second thought was, her profile. She had her english ability as fair. Ok, what exactly does fair mean? I think I asked Arnold this question too. As we started to chat with each other it was apparent to me that her english was pretty good. She will tell you her english is poor but we have been chatting twice a day now ever since and we have only had a couple times when we could not understand eachother.
We only exchanged a couple EMF letters. The last one was back in the middle of june. We chat twice a day almost every day on QQ. We text message to each other. This stopped recently. I did not notice it though. One chat session she was very preoccupied with something and would not look at the screen much. I asked her what she was doing and she said that she had dropped her phone in the bethroom and it got wet. It does not work anymore. Her friend lent her a phone that she had until hers was fixed. She could not figure out how to text in english. This is what she was fiddling with. That is when I noticed she had not answered my text from a day or 2 before.
This woman has been nothing short of amazing to me. She goes out of her way to try to connect directly with me. If I am going to be someplace for a couple days she asks for the phone number and calls me. I do my share of calling too but it is the effort she puts into making a relationship work or into trying to find a way to stay in touch that is refreshing to me. All this effort and we have not met face to face.
I now have my ticket to china to meet her. I tried to book the flight the other day but I kinda forgot to call the credit card company and tell them I would be out of the country for a couple weeks. (I am in florida right now. I was asked to drive my mothers car down here. I am leaving it here and flying back home.) Well they put a block on the card and I had to get it removed. She just told me tonight that the hotel room is booked too so all I need is a visa and I'm good to go. I will be there from the 27th of january to february 15th. I am really looking forward to this trip and meeting this amazing woman.
That is my story so far. I may need to edit this later. I had most of it written and then this pc decided to crash and I had to rewrite it. Sorry about the length.
Dave C
