I asked Xia last night during our nightly QQ session if she was frugal and after explaining what it means she did say yes. OK so she does not like to waste money most people do not, but we ALL have our little excesses that we love to have, in your case cherries in my case making models, in someone else's case it maybe beer or whatever. What ever it happens to be it is seen as a waste of money by other person. I do not see this as a waste of money because the way I see it I am not blowing it on gambling or some other vice so what harm is there? It makes my life a little bit more enjoyable and makes me happy so why should I give that up? But the other person DOES see it as a waste of money, so how can I get around this so it not something that hangs around like the big elephant in the room that everyone walks around but no one ever mentions and how can I meet her halfway?
My solution and I have talked with Xia about this and she is more than accommodating, is that I have shown her my monthly budget for everything in our life when she comes here, as I have told her that she does not have to work ever again if she does not want to. IE. mortgage payment, food and bills, insurance, savings for future and savings for holidays. There is room in our budget to allow us each to have about $100 each to spend on whatever we want and are not be accountable to the other for what the money is spent on. I do not mean to hide or be deceitful but I can spend the money as I want. That means if I blow it all on booze, gambling or buying my models that is my business and what she spends her "allowance" on is her business, but I did mention that things like presents for each other, you know those little "I just saw this and thought of you" moments would come out of this money and not savings or food money. But I can see her saving more of this money than me, but that is her prerogative.
Xia understood this concept and thought that it is a wonderful idea. I believe her biggest fear and concern and I will admit that I do agree with her, was that the house, food, bills and savings come first and if there was no money left in the budget after that how can I buy something for myself only, which would have been seen as being greedy and not caring when the money should go towards the household somehow.
Might be some food for thought here and a way to settle this issue and a win win for everyone. Of course everyone's situation will be different as there will be different budgets and priorities. But I would give up the models in a heart beat if I knew that it may compromise my relationship with Xia, but we all have our own little things we love to do that makes life enjoyable, so if a reasonable solution can be found why should it not be explored?