Careful, frugal...or obsessive

[odysseus007]

David,

Knowing her security complex, perhaps demonstrating blatantly your frugality in some things will reassure her, while spending more freely on things that matter to you other times, you demonstrate to her with actions that you are not a profligate spendthrift, but are discerning as to what you get for the amount paid, not merely the cheapest price per se.

Example - haggling fiercely at the bazaar, but buying a better quality notebook, or ordering something at the restaurant that is not the cheapest, or taking a taxi instead of a bus or walk. After all show her that what you buy is for both of you, and quality matters. Ask her if she prefers to spend on a taxicab or save & walk? You will make your point.

Larry

[David E]

Larry
The point I was making about the apparent "obsessive" fear of spending money that is shown by my wife (and I suspect, many others) was to demonstrate one of the "culture" differences that was getting a bit tedious for me.......just needed a place to moan about it and get some altenative feedback from the Bros.

I thank you for your input, and all is cool now.

I am not a frivolous teenager, splurging money irresponsibly, I am a mature adult and I have managed my finances with skill and prudence all my life. I have not the need, patience or inclination to take 2 hours haggling over $1 !!!!....life is too short. At the same time, I have used my money to enhance the quality of my life. Hoarding it in a Bank whilst living the life of a deprived peasant dont float my boat !! But having enough to be secure and comfortable for the future has always been my plan....thats what I work hard for.

I am not inclined to go through some meaningless dance to demonstrate to my wife that I am responsible...she accepts my way of doing things...or she doesn't....it is her choice.

I have come to an agreement with her that she can have her own money and she can be as frugal as she wishes, I will be happy whatever she decides...but dont expect me to do the same. But all the bills will be paid on time, we will always have enough money to do what we want, and life will be good 

Thats as far as I am wanting to compromise in this area

David

[odysseus007]

I see David, btw, whereabouts do you live nowadays? Which city? Was gonna drop by Dongguan if things go right.

My Mom skimps a lot on everything, and I sometimes overspend a bit on books & fossils but am balanced on other stuff. My ex used to have a bad habit of impulse buys on unnecessary items, but it's probably just like my buying books. I'm fine with it as long as it's her money that she earns herself. I'm okay to split expenses on necessities, and discretionary income can be spent at discretion by the earner, that gives each of us leeway without any interference by the other.

Good to hear you're doing great over there (wherever there is).