WOW.....It must be a full-moon or something...we are getting a bit testy this week
To Mr Madeinamerica I would respond by saying that it is not a crime to be lonely, I believe all of us here have struck this "wall" and we try to do something about it to the best of our ability.
As for naieve.........maybe so, because we tended to accept what Organisations like CHNLove told us, and paid good money to explore the options they presented to us...all gift wrapped up in pretty paper and basically irresistable....and largely fraudulent. But it is a learning curve (a bitter one) that we try here to make less risky with our collective experience to share around.
Thus this Forum grew out of the need to get a like-minded bunch of guys to share experiences, get back on track and avoid getting burned again.
It matters little how or where you meet a woman and want to pursue a relationship...always there is a risk. To minimise risk, you would think that we should all choose a woman from our own culture and background and steer clear of any liasons that stepped a fraction outside this apparent comfort zone..........well we most of us tried that and it is an excercise in futility and heartbreak. Thus we are prepared to accept some level of risk to try to find a Lady who more closely matches some of the "ideals" that most Men have in their psyche !!
Sure, if we can find a Chinese (or other) Lady close to home, that meets all the criteria...well and good. But that is a rare occurrence, Chinese people here in Aus tend not to mix in the general social scene...especially single, mature women and there are not many of them around anyway...maybe a more frequent occurrence of teenagers and/or second generation Chinese who are basically Australians already.
There are not many women who are eligible for Men of my age (50 plus) who are students here on Student Visas...and for us, this would be an extremely difficult proposition to convince the Aus Immigration Dept that the relationship is genuine...the vast majority of Students here from overseas have only one way of staying here when their course is complete...and that is to marry an Australian.....in that scenario there is HUGE risk that it is a mariage of convenience. Our Immig Dept would regard such an outcome with extreme suspicion.
By definition, we cannot spend masses of time with our contact Ladies in China...only brief visits as far as time and money will allow. Sure, in a perfect World it would be better to be close to your prospective partner for long periods of time, in the real world, we cant do that. So we do the best we can under these circumstances. Again, it increases the risk of ultimate failure.
If we all wanted to play it totally safe...we should stay at home, alone and lonely and take up creative Macrame or somesuch....but thats not our target is it ??
You were fortunate, you found your Chinese Lady close to home...but that (in my experience) is a rare and lucky outcome. It is not that way for the great majority of us who "do it the hard way"...with all the attendant risks.
