You know you are in China when....

[Martin]

This was taken from a different thread.  Paul Todd had written this piece, and Maxx had added to it.  I think that others that have been should add to the list.  It is fun, and the guys who have never been might get some more insight into their future trip...what to expect!

Married Life? Huh

You understand that silence in response to a question means "almost certainly no"
"Maybe" means "probably no" and "Yeah..." means, "maybe."
As far as I am aware, there is no way for a Chinese women to say "yes for sure" If she
does say yes, it may simply mean that she doesn't want to argue with you, but don't be fooled because she is going to go ahead and do it the way she wanted anyway.

You're in-laws walking into your bedroom doesn't bother you (quite as much as it used to)

You check the bill carefully before you pay and challenge at least one item.

You aren't surprised when you arrive home from work to find your mother-in-law in the kitchen.

You recognize the hosts of the CCTV CNY gala show.

You take Jing Shun Lu to save 5RMB on the airport expressway.

You no longer challenge her beliefs about medicine and health..

You've stopped trying to identify the food she eats.

You don't notice people staring.

You walk out on the back porch of your motherinlaws house and see the sack of fish heads

you take your motherinlaws rice baskets and throw them at the guy across the alley taking a piss on the side of the building.

your motherinlaw slaps you for throwing her rice baskets.At the neighbors.

your neighbors pit bull is scared of your wife.

You rent a hotel room and the whole family comes over to take a shower.

you watch cctv channel 9 just to laugh at the anchor person.When they slaughter the English launguge.

If you and your wife are looking for a place, you haven't been before, you have two totally different concepts how to find that place: your wife will ask 5 people on the way and make 8 tel calls to ask for a direction. You simply look for the address.

Your wife passing gas in mid conversation doesn't shock you anymore.

Alcohol any time of day is just not the surprise it used to be.

You start being critical of the taxi driver, because he won't cross the center line of the road to pas the slower bus in front of you.

You watch the sports on CCTV 9 everyday because you need your daily fix of Yao Ming information.

You start thinking that 10 RMB for a bowl of noodles is outrageous in price.

You look forward to getting into a taxi in Changsha, because when the driver flips the meter, you look forward to the ladies voice that says "Welcome to take taxi in Changsha."

[Martin]

You know you have been in the country too long, when you start to stare at the other lao wai.

[rockycoon]

You know you've been in Viet-nam too long when you get up off your mat check for snake or bug bite's, go out in the rice paddy to squatt and find your girlfriends mother takeing a dump just a row away from you, then using her hand to wipe and wiping it off on her pajamma bottoms then goes in to make everyone breakfast.....:fi_lone_ranger:

[David E]

You blow your nose delicately on a tissue...and you could plant potatoes in the result !!!

[shaun]

OK Rocky and David I was trying to eat breakfast while reading your posts.

[David E]

Shaun

You'll have to get used to these "niceties" in China...all part of the daily pageant of life
DavidE

[David5o]

David,

Your dead right about blowing your nose, and that goes for you being anywhere near an industrial area. The trouble is, a lot of Chinese industrial areas are in the middle of towns and cities....
Not exactly too healthy, for those going to live there permanently!!

David.....

[rockycoon]

You put your dogs and cats inside and you sleep outside to guard them....LOL...LOLyou put the guard dogs inside and you sleep outside to guard them....LOL
:fi_lone_ranger:

[shaun]

....when you are walking down a street and you see Willy walking the other direction.  It is then you realize the women at home are safe.

[MLM]

You know you are in China to long when you start eating things you can't identify and don't care

[David5o]

You know your in China, when you see guy's snorting, and then gobbing (spitting) as they walk along the streets, and your trying to dodge all that gobbing.... And not a soul takes a blind bit of notice. But kiss your wife or girlfriend ...Wow!! everybody notices!! ...lol!!

David.....

[David E]

You get 6 women from different spots in a restaraunt conducting a family discussion at 274 decibels.

[David5o]

David,

Yeah,.... your bloody right there, Why they always have to shout at a restaurant i will never know. They shout even when there talking to the person next to them!!!..  And it ain't just women, ...it's all of the little buggers!! Don't know about you, but i often come out of a restaurant in China with a flaming headache.

It's funny, but these Cypriots here, are not too different either, but they shout all the time anyway, ...i think it's a Greek thing!!  hahaha!!

David....

[Vince G]

Every time I'm on the phone with my lady I can hear everything going on in the neighborhood. A woman yelling and crying the husband lost about $300.00 and she was upset. A wedding across the street, the recycling man that comes down the street yelling for old TV's and other electronics. Gezzz I complain that there is to many cars (3) coming down my street?

[David E]

It always tickled my humour to watch the wives organising everything in the restaraunt with ruthless and extremely noisy efficiency. While Dad and kids sat there quiet and eat and eat and eat....and smoke and smoke and smoke !!!!
 Any slight slacking in familial appetite brought a giant tirade from Mama...meanwhile she is busy conducting all this traffic and brutalising the poor waitresses, whilst at the same time shouting her brains out at about 8 other women in the restaraunt...who are also all shouting their brains out at 6 other women.
You are dead right....at the end of a meal, I was about exhausted and shell-shocked , with a giant headache and semi-permanent tinnitus !!!!But however much of a culture shock this is at first, over time I got to realise that this is their way of having fun, and enjoyinhg HUGELY such an occasion. And I truly think that despite the sinister overtones about Communism and Dictatorships, the average Chinese person has a ;lot more personal freedoms than we do.
Of course, there are some extreme pennalties for the "crash and burn" issues in such a society, particularly criticising Government etc. But for the general day-to-day life they are much less controlled than we are.
And when you get used to it, you gotta love their giant enthusiasm for anything social, especially involving the family...even noisy Mamas can be considered charming in this environment...I envy them sometimes !!!
IMHO
DavidE