It better happen this time.............

[Rhonald]

Another good result posted today. First Jimmy and now readin your good fortune Jason - atta boy 

[maxx]

Jason wow that was quick.Congratulations to you and your lovely wife.

[shaun]

Great news.  I like many others are happy and jealous all at the same time. 

[David E]

Jason

WOW !! That is really good news and so quickly !!

I must admit to being very envious 

If only Shanghai were as efficient with their processing I would be just as happy.....but we wait 

David

[David E]

Jason

I understand that tomorrow is the big day when Xia arrives in Aus

Hope all goes well and that "tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life"

Cheers...David

[Jason B]

Dave, you are correct and beat me to posting.  Currently 710pm Sydney time and she is at the airport in Hong Kong awaiting her flight. To say that tomorrow is begining of the rest of our lives is an understatement.  I can not wait for her to be here finally.  I do not know who will get the least sleep.....the one in the plane or the one on land....but I will be at the airport tomorrow

[Rhonald]

Party time Jason as your ship has finally come in 

[RobertBfrom aust]

Great that the X day has finally arrived , I am sure that we will all await photo's , when you have time that is ha ha , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[shaun]

Great.   Much joy for the both of you.

[Willy The Londoner]

Great News for for you Jason.

But in my usual pessimistic way I do warn everyone that living overseas is not the bed of roses for many Chinese woman that us men think we are giving them.

Chinese are very family orientated, and I mean very very wide family orientated. 

They will seriously miss their family when overseas.  You call you country home - they call it foreign country.

Many relationships end before getting to the altar this because the thought of moving to another country is the final nail in the coffin.

The relationship was fun in the run up but at that last minute any number of excuses will come be given except the real one and that is they are scared to leave.

I say before marrying make sure that the women has a chance to see your country, your home, your lifestyle. Make sure that she has the money available in her account should she really want to return to China. Make sure that this is there for her before she arrives.  Since being here I find that the women often to saved a dollar here saved a dollar there to scrape together the fare home. Yes the fare HOME as some never call their new country home. And in that time they had one gaol to go home. Never telling the man till they had the fare together.  One unhappy person in a relationship means it aint working.   

 My wife did not like UK at all, not many people, the Chinese food available was not real Chinese food, she was unable to cook herself.  As Chinese she likes to talk 24/7 if she could. So we had to visit Chinese Restuarants just so she could have conversations with people.   But as you all know UK is not for ME. It is not the same country that it was when I was born and which I grew up in.

The women that have returned who I have spoken to have said mainly the man was not who they first thought he would be. Once living together the mans true self came to the fore. Most of these women have had a bad marriage before and they did not need a second one so home they came.

You guys who take your women home have a lot of work to do to ensure she settles in.  And the work starts many many weeks before she arrives. 

Willy

[halfpint]

Sometimes I wish Willy would not make so much sense 

[Rhonald]

I would be willing to leave Willy the sense if I could keep the dollars, but yes he does have a good word of caution.

[David E]

Undoubtably Willy makes some sense with his words of caution.....

But...

There is another side to this coin...

What about those of us who cannot/dont want/will not consider living in China...and there are many reasons why not all of us can make this move...financially/Business wise or emotionally.

What are we to do...accept that there can never be a happy marriage with a Chinese Woman who is far from her "home"...or recognise that there will be difficulty and try to plan and anticipate accordingly

Surely, as in all marriages there is a success and a failure rate...we none of us get any guarantees when we set off down the track of finding a Chinese wife....just the same as there are no guarantees when and if we marry a local Woman (as most of us can attest).

I have been over the differences between our Countries with Ming many, many, many times and I know that she only has a vague idea of what I am getting at.

Willy seems to suggest that because of family/language/poulation density and such that we are all doomed to fail anyway.

I know of quite a few Chinese women who came to Aus and were shocked to find that their new husband was nothing like what she originally thought....in fact I know of one woman who arrived here to find her Husband had no job, lived on the dole, had a 1 room apartment and did not even own a bed...and he told her she must go out to work immediately or she would not eat....unfortunately, more fool her for jumping in so quick...and a plague on him for being a decietful slob !!!...but nevertheless, she is now stuck in Aus WITHOUT a return air fare and with a very poor prognosis for her future happiness.

Maybe therein lies a big part of the problem...go to China for one visit, meet and marry a woman, get a visa ...and disaster.

That is why we must make several visits and try earnestly to really get to know each other.....before we make the irrevocable committment.

But win, lose or draw, we can only do the best and honourable thing and try with all our heart and mind to make things as easy and uncomplex as possible, accepting that our Wives will not find integration a piece of cake as the "rose coloured glasses" might indicate.

For me...I would rather try hard and fail, than never try at all...but Ming and I dont intend to fail.

So give us a bit of encouragement Willy and at least acknowlege that it CAN work sometimes

David

[David K]

Great News for for you Jason.
But in my usual pessimistic way I do warn everyone that living overseas is not the bed of roses for many Chinese woman that us men think we are giving them.
Chinese are very family orientated, and I mean very very wide family orientated. 
Willy

Amen to that 
It is said that you can get your girl out of China,
but you will never get the China out of your girl....

My first step, with Yan, my lovely Chinese Takeaway, was
to enlist technology. We have one entirely Mandarin (winXP)
computer in our network, a webcam and endless broadband
- so she "sees" her family regularly - most evenings in fact...

Second part was to send her back to China, to visit her family
'in the flesh' as it were. She was enthusiastic about
going 'home' until she actually got there.
It was a 36 hour train trip to Harbin and she was greeted with
-30 degree temperatures. Then the pollution, the noise, the
PM10 levels, and the 1 person per sq M got to her;
within a week she was even more enthusiatic about coming back to NZ.

Third part: to be the husband she always wanted... she was unhappy with
Chinese men for gambling, infidelity and smoking and not treating their wives
with respect. I've not sucumbed to any of these (yet) 
She like flowers - so we take trips to the local rose gardens...
( Yes, it literally and figuratively  CAN be a bed of roses .....
She like the outdoors - so we pack a tent in the car and stay overnight
in some of NZs national parks (no bears, snakes and scorpions    )
This (and more) gives her the space to unfold as the wife I've always wanted..

It also helps to learn a little Mandarin ... as a mark of respect... and it gains
the respect of her friends :-)

Next up: bringing her 20 yr old son here...it will give him opportunities
that will not be available in Harbin.. and as Willy says, keeps the family
links .. see the article on Roubinis predictions for Chinas economy 

[Clayton]

I gota say, after reading Willies post i was worried, even though, like David E, I have talked about this ear ea many time with my wife and she says she is looking forward to the quiet life I still have concerns that it might be too quiet . I live in country SA, a rural setting I have 11 people that neighbour me and the local town of 1000 people is 8 kilomiters and Adelaide is 170 Ks . However after reading David E's post I felt a little more comfortable and then David K's post I felt much more confident.  I'm really at that stage now where I like to hear about how other blokes are getting on after there wives relocate.  There's no way you can prepair for everything but I go over it in my mind all the time and I am as prepaired as I can be for now, I know all women are different but I would like to hear the likes and dislikes of you blokes wives, it would give me an in site of what to look out for, and the stories are interesting too.
Cheers