Going to China

[mracn]

Since I am pretty new here, I better give some information about myself and the information I need to make things easier.

I met Elva Zhang from Anshan/ Liaoning just over 7 months ago. After sending several letters through her agency, Elva decided to buy a computer and continue chatting with me through Skype altough her English was limited to hello and I like. With the help of Babel Fish, we got along very well.

I am hoping to visit her and her family around late May if my health is cleared up. She has invited me to live in her family's home as she does want me to spend the money for a hotel.

I live in Quebec so I know that the paperwork is different from the rest of Canada. I will send her this week a copy of my divorce papers as well as my income statements. Now I have to know what else I need before I leave and what should I expect in China? I will be spending a month there as my business is not the traditional form and does not need me around to grow. I am 64 years young and Elva is 45.

[mustfocus]

Hi mracn,

You haven't said if you're going to get married to her this trip or just visit her.  From what it looks like, you're heading there to get married (Congrats!).  If that's the case, I would have your future wife check with the local office.  Anshan is not a small city so they would be able to tell her what documentation you and her need.

Good luck!

[Mikael_Shim]

As for what to expect when you get here. If you dont narrow it down to some specifics but wondering in plain general i believe this is highly individual and you have to experience it for yourself. I love it here, others may not. Everyones situation is abit unique and expectations may vary alot. I will give you the same advice others gave me before coming here, keep your heart and mind open. And Welcome to China 

[David E]

Hi mracn

There are very few of us here who were not totally captivated by China, we all had a few "bumps in the road" but the overal experience is highly positive.
I dont think you can begin to imagine the differences and if you get past the negatives (squat toilets, air pollution and lack of English speakers) then China is breathtaking.
You will be amazed how friendly and willing to help will be everyone you come into contact. Families and the family bonds are rock solid which is a very different and refreshing experience for a Westerner.

Health and hygeine are a focus, so dont forget travel insurance...and if you dont like Chinese food you will have some problems in finding authentic Western food other than the junk from Mac. KFC etc...and it is not the same as our version !!! There are some nasty flu like bugs around which we have no resistance to, be aware. Local health services can be primitive, even hospitals dont compare with what you are used to.

Prices for everything are very modest compared to what you are used to...but you gotta bargain hard...better let your Lady do this, because as a Westerner, you are a target for a rip-off (and they do it so nicely !!!)

I am not so sure that staying with the family on first visit is the best way to go.........could be tricky if things dont work out ??

Your lady will always be very keen to avoid you spending money...it is in their genes ! but dont let that scenario get out of hand. Hotels are not expensive and give you a home base and an escape hatch if needed. Be a bit cautious about publicising your income data until you are more sure how deep and hot the water is !!!

But all in all, you will experience something totally different on your trip to China...it is a wonderful place, and if you "click" with your Lady, then all will be perfect

Good luck

[Neil]

David E pretty much covered all the bases.  I can only add some caveats: 

Your lady will likely hold you to your word, and not necessarily what you meant, but what you said.  She will be greatly disappointed when the million RMB you promised her parents is actually a thousand. 

I found the local doctor very professional and thorough, but I would not want to visit a hospital unless it was a true emergency.  My wife caught a rash while staying with her sister in the hospital for 4 days.  David's right (as always), health insurance is almost a must.  Don't take the chance.

Squat toilets are hard to get used to, but surprisingly, once (if) you do, they seem to make for easier bowel movements. 

The differences are surprising between China and the west.  It's almost like EVERYTHING is different that can be different.  Customs, tastes, smells, sizes.  It's like they see something in the west, and deliberately do it differently.  But I'm sure it's us that are doing things wrong. 

China is beautiful and friendly.  I've never once felt unsafe.  Go with an open mind and a friendly smile, and you're sure to have a great time. 

[RobertBfrom aust]

You will enjoy , but I would take David E's advice and for the first week at least get your lady to book you into a good 4 star local hotel , should cost around the 40 dollars a night for a queen bed and maybe even breky thrown in , check on Expedia .com or even look up and google Anshan , one thing I would take with you is a good Besta English to Mandarin electronic translator , I have used several of the good ones and they are invaluable and help when you are talking 1 to 1 , and you will find not all English words do  translate , a good e/t will allow you to translate whole simple sentences very easily , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[mracn]

Thank you all for the good advice. I chat and see Elva every night on Skype and things are really moving along well. After speaking to one of Elva's friends who married a man from England and moved there eventually gave her good advice. Now, Elva practises her English every day and goes to courses.

I appreciate all the advice forwarded so far. Insurance, especially since I have crohns is a no brainer. I already spoke to her about the bathroom situation and I don't expect much compared to what I am used to. She has insisted that I spend all the time with her at her parent's home. I am very serious with her and if there are no hiccuos, we will be married while I'm there.

I will be sending her this week, copies of my divorce and income statements but not sure what else to send or what papers I will need for her to eventually live with me in Quebec. I know there are members here from my province so please help me in that area.

Thanks again,
George