Author Topic: That's it for me  (Read 9526 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Martin

  • Board Moderator
  • Registered User
  • ****
  • Posts: 2,228
  • Reputation: 25
That's it for me
« on: March 06, 2011, 06:23:27 pm »
Hi guys.  I was going to keep this private, for my own reasons, I will tell you what is going on with me...although I am going to keep this somewhat brief.  I am a pretty private person, so do not like to go into too much detail.  My marriage with Zhifang has ended.  She flew back to China at the beginning of January.  The entire details of what happened is pretty complicated, and I am not going to get into it.

I have been asked to stay on as the admin of the site, although I was prepared to step down when this all happened.  So for now, I am staying on this site.  I am not going to pursue any relationships in China...that's all done for me.  However, I do believe in what we are doing here on this site, and feel we are making a difference to those who are choosing to go to China to meet their significant other.

Of course, I wish everyone the best of luck in their journey.  I always enjoy reading about the trips, and look forward to reading about weddings in China.  I am always here to help out where I can, with what knowledge I have.

Martin

Offline Neil

  • happily married, working on immigration
  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 1,000
  • Reputation: 5
  • Zhangping, Fujian bound.
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2011, 06:46:22 pm »
I'm really sorry to hear that Martin.  I know how it feels, with two serious failed relationships under my belt.  I hope you will take some time and maybe one day you will change your mind.  I've been told a million times that you don't have to go to China to find a beautiful Chinese wife.  As I posted in another thread, when you stop searching, you sometimes find what you needed.  I hope you can find what you need one day soon.  Until then, keep that smile on your face, try to keep a positive attitude and remember that we are all your friends.  We're here for you, like you've been for us. 

I won't ask what happened - I don't want to pry and I know that some things are too difficult to discuss, but if you have any suggestions that some of us can use to avoid a similar situation, I hope you won't mind helping now and then. 

Neil
...as irresistible as chocolate

Offline David E

  • David and Ming
  • Board Moderator
  • Registered User
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,653
  • Reputation: 24
  • My favourite photo
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2011, 07:08:16 pm »
Martin

That is indeed a "bombshell" of news. I am so sorry to hear it, you seemed to be one of the big success stories.
Hope that you can continue to give help and advice as in the past....and maybe some day you will get back on the horse.

If there is any help and/or advice I/we can give you here...just ask

Best wishes...David

Vince G

  • Guest
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2011, 07:11:04 pm »
Sorry to hear this. I don't understand why step down as Admin.? No need for that.

Offline shaun

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 1,504
  • Reputation: 37
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2011, 07:12:38 pm »
Martin, I am really sorry to hear that but thanks for speaking up.  One day I hope you can come to the place where you can give wise council to those what are naive to all traps and pitfalls and hopefully give them ways to deal with issues.

I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

Offline mustfocus

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 739
  • Reputation: 12
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2011, 09:12:27 pm »
Hey Martin,

Sorry to hear about you and Zhi Fang.  Hope whatever comes next will be a good one for you!  You and your daughter are still welcome to get together as friends.  No reason for that to change.
梦醒时分 - Meng Xing Shi Fen

Offline Martin

  • Board Moderator
  • Registered User
  • ****
  • Posts: 2,228
  • Reputation: 25
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2011, 09:58:34 pm »
Hey guys...I am not giving up the friendships I have made here.  I hope to continue with all of them, and I want to hear all your success stories as well.

Offline Rhonald

  • Ziyan Zhou (Yan)
  • Registered User
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,550
  • Reputation: 11
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2011, 10:03:08 pm »
Success is not a destination but a story that constantly unfolds. For me you are the Muse that created this website originally born on Facebook and transversed here. I can not think of anyone more capable and understanding then you, our God Father, to be this site's Administrator. Who better then one that has tasted both the sweetness and bitterness of that harvest we try to reap.  I too am sorrowed by this new event and Cupid's miss aimed arrow.

I can remember you twice calling me on your phone, one time when I was in wayward spirits, to lend a brother your inner strength. Your revelation has come at a time that although unfortunate, gives warning and caution to us all that we can never be sure of the outcome, no matter how carefull we plan. You have knowledge and experience that can help others and I thank you for choosing to remain.

Forever in your debt,
Ron V.
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline Scottish_Robbie

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 499
  • Reputation: 4
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2011, 10:30:06 pm »
Sorry to hear the news martin..I thought I read it in a thread last week. good luck buddy
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Offline Martin

  • Board Moderator
  • Registered User
  • ****
  • Posts: 2,228
  • Reputation: 25
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2011, 10:53:07 pm »
Sorry to hear the news martin..I thought I read it in a thread last week. good luck buddy
You did read it in a thread last week, but it wasn't a thread started by me.  That's another layer to the story that I won't get in to.

Arnold

  • Guest
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2011, 10:54:43 pm »
As a Mod ( I think all the other's ) are .. like Rhonald says .. in Debt to you Martin , not just when we started to build this Union of Friendship's . Especially now and the month's ( hopefully years ) to come . Also happy you will decide to stay on , as I can NOT see " Chong " replaceing you as Administrator here . ??

Best wishes to both of you and your Daughter , may the Pain of Love subside soon from your Heart and fill it kindness you receive here from us all .

Offline sunny

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 33
  • Reputation: 14
  • 庄生晓梦迷蝴蝶
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2011, 11:34:20 pm »
Sorry to hear this. So sad. I know it's not your fault.

What is the perfect marriage,  different views from different people. Could we judge who is right? Absolutely no.

Most time,the only thing you can do is pray you will meet the person who has the same idea with you. Martin,don't give up.

马丁,不要放弃。

Offline chen yan

  • Registered User
  • ***
  • Posts: 192
  • Reputation: 4
    • http://chenyan19851010.spaces.live.com/
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2011, 01:55:16 am »
Hello Martin,

I am shock to hear the news from you. I like reading your blog before. I hope two of you could stay calm and keep positive as Neil said.  And it 's important ,donn't let the failture close your heart, everyone need time to recover from a bad experience. God bless you...

Love ,Joy ,Peace~

Louie

  • Guest
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2011, 09:12:51 pm »
this is very tragic. you guys told me to read this forum and i see this. if you don't mind me asking what happened? i want to avoid this. you have offered me things on my post and i want to know what went wrong with your relationship.
thank you,
louie

Arnold

  • Guest
Re: That's it for me
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2011, 10:39:53 pm »
Louie , I think that is a little too personal to spread all over the Forum . What we learn from this , is it's never a sure thing .. even when it looks like it . So take extra caution proceeding with your Lady . That doesn't mean this can NOT work for you . Stay positive , it's good for you and your Lady friend .