Author Topic: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.  (Read 5969 times)

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Offline Lain

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2011, 03:04:48 am »
Thought I would update the scenario now that some time has passed and the situation is resolved.

The situation was not accurately told me by the family in that it was actually her father that was at fault. He was drunk , as stated and hit the other vehicle while riding a motorcycle home late at night. The legal fees were actually to defend the family from the owner of the car he hit. In the end I was able to persuade the family to settle with the other person and pay for the damages to his car over a 4 month period. The money I gave was used as a "down payment" and the family accepted a payment schedule for the balance. I was not told the whole truth by my girlfriend as she was too embarrassed and felt great shame. She did not want me to "pay" for her fathers mistake , and given the fact that he lost his life...it was very hard for her. But in the end, everything worked out.

She has been living with me since late February, and I can say that while there have been several "communication" problems mostly related to her not telling me things , the relationship is great and it looks like I have found the one? Time will tell , but so far its working very well.

I will be going back to her family home next month for the Chinese "grave sweeping holiday" to visit her family again. We will be there for a week , and upon return is her birthday. Her mother will come back with us and stay for a week to see my home and visit Xiaolan. I hope everything goes well with her visit and she approves of my home .. of course compared to how she lives, this is the best her daughter could hope for in a home and relationship.

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2011, 03:57:34 am »
Thanks for the update Lain , yes sometimes we are the last to know , but I just accept with no drama and no panic , it pays to keep the peace and get rewarded ha ha , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Offline shaun

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2011, 05:10:13 am »
Lain, I am glad to hear that it was cleared up and that all is well with your relationship.

Robert, You are a wise man and... as Peggy would say... sneaky.  ;D

Offline maxx

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2011, 07:15:15 pm »
Lain good job.And yes we are the last to know.And it doesn't change.No matter how long you are married to a Chinese woman.After a while you do learn to anticipate your ladies little suprises.So it doe;s get easier.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2011, 07:16:55 pm by maxx »

Arnold

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2011, 08:03:53 pm »
Lain good job.And yes we are the last to know.And it doesn't change.No matter how long you are married to a Chinese woman.After a while you do learn to anticipate your ladies little suprises.So it doe;s get easier.

Oh yes .. don't forget if you happen to do wrong on anything .. her Family is the " First " to know about it .

Example : I just went to my Immigration Lawyer for a Visa ( invite letter ) for Qing's brother's Wife to come and Visit us .. some time in July/August . Paid $ 150 myself and She will pay the other $ 150 when she get's the Visa . So , I come Home and have all the Papers nice and ready to be Mailed the next day for Qing to take to the Post Office . Now after she got Home from Work , she see's these and instead of a big Thank you ( which I expected ) I got a ear full of .. Did you have Copies made of all these Papers .. so you can do it myself next year when she comes again with Qing's Son . I of course have it all and was going to do it myself anyways , but this went on for a good 30 minutes ( to safe money of course and I understand the Chinese in that compartment ) til I got a little hot-headed myself and told her .. we don't need to worry about this for another year .. then we worry about . She started to see that I was getting mad ( under control though ) and she put a stop to it right there .
Now of course , talking to her Brother letting him know the Papers are on the way .. he got to hear that I was mad . Haha .. but the Brother is on my side covering me up where needed and told her I was righjt . Only now is all good and all I can say .. is oh Boy . So the point is , no matter how old their are , Family get's to hear it all if you do something that is against their thinking .
I love her to pieces anyway .. like I like to say .. I love to adjust where necessary .

Offline Rachel

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Re: What to do ? .... difficult scenario.
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2011, 11:34:00 pm »
Hello!Lain,Very happy this thing has a good treatment.In China. Handling such complex events is very difficult.I can understand your mood.I want to say: you are a good man! The girl was very lucky! ;)

Rachel.
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