QQ should be called one flow over the cuckoo's nest

[David5o]

Andy,

For Sure your not thinking with your head, but it's a hell of a back-up plan, if you can pull it off that is?? haha!!
I may be a lot older than you, but i have a dammed good memory lol!! One thing that strikes me about the pic's, She doesn't seem the type you'd bring home to meet Mum!! I don't know, just seems (just by looks) a little on the tarty side. But hey, i can say that now ...i'm an oldie hahaha!! Don't take me too seriously here Andy..... haha!!

David....

[feisnik]

Truly, you should not try to wean her of EMFs until after you met in person. Often, until then, her translator is more of a real friend than you are to her. She needs that protection that the agency offers until you meet in person and spend time together.

[wilsbrough]

David, i know what your saying. But i'm kinda 36 going on 26 still, and the places i go to in the evening, well the girls look a lot more 'tarty' than that. Hehe, maybe it was different in your day when the girls wore a twin set and pearls..! :icon_cheesygrin:, but she is toned down a little on the webcam chats, But i know i'm not thinking with my head here, well i am, but it's not the one on my shoulders!! :icon_cheesygrin:

Also Nik, i am just after a little more direct contact with my CL girl. i would still use the agencies for the majority of my messages. I would not want her to stop using them completely, it's just that now i have been chatting with this girl on QQ,i realise you get more of a feeling on what they are like as a person than writing an emf, waiting for it to be translated and then the same thing for her reply

Andy.

[David5o]

Nik,

What possible harm can anyone do, by corresponding outside of EMF's?? What sort of protection are you talking about here? Really.... i'm at a loss to pull your statement above together....
You could be talking about 6 mouths to a year here Nik, Who wants to be paying out for EMF's over that period of time?? Who in the meantime, is protecting us from the agencies and translators??
The whole idea, surely is to use all the tools available to get to know your lady as well as possible BEFORE you go trotting off to meet her in China. There is a thread here on the Forum that is telling everyone to do the exact opposite to what your advising Andy to do???

David.....

[Scottish_Rob]

I have been using EMF's since November, and tried to get her off them, when I asked for her email address I put into the letter a note for the translator, saying that I wanted the address BUT I would still be using the EMF's

And is has cost me a fortune and will continue to do so, Am I happy about it???, NO WAY, but I have to deal with that in my way, if Keren won't use email because of the langauge, what can I do, I have to go the EMF way
;-((

[feisnik]

David5o, I am talking about the POV of the girl. Once you have met the first time, then she will be happy to abandon the agency, but she is likely not going to be comfortable before you meet in person because of warnings of the agencies. The agency is like a security blanket, and trying to rip away that blanket too quickly can have the opposite effect than what one is going for. I am all for abandoning the agency, but this is not likely going to happen until after you meet in person first!

[David5o]

Nik,

Sorry Nik, but if i was still in the corresponding stage, and the lady wasn't prepared to make any effort in getting to know me better she would be gone. Personaly as a prelude to that, i would be writing a note to the translator at the bottom of an EMF, politly stating/asking if this lady is not prepared to take things further in the various other means of contact enabling us to come closer together, then i would have to think seriously about ending our association. If that didn't work, that's exactly what i would have done.... ended it!!
Waiting till you meet her, (and possibly it going belly-up) is just so ridiculous... words fail me!!

David....

[feisnik]

That is what the EMFs are for, getting to know one another. If her English is non-existent, she will be too shy to dare conversing via QQ or by phone.

[David E]

Andy

Sorry you got it wrong...in David50's youth, it wasn't twin sets and pearls........the women wore animal skins and his pick up line was to hit them with a big club and drag them off by the hair

DavidE

[Vince G]

Dave you asked "Who in the meantime, is protecting us from the agencies and translators??"

But meeting some girl on Chat/webcam doesn't protect you from scammers. Does it?

Andy, I understand the situation. The choice is yours, but? The same problems apply for both women. One you know what she looks like and I guess she knows english? The other you have an idea of her looks and knows very little english. So communicating may be cheaper with one but more honest with the other. There's no guarantee the chatter is loyal to you either or working up a scam? I'm not even sure if she is chinese? She looks Japanese. This type was the one nighters as we called them. You have to ask yourself what you want in the long run? And which one fulfills your want?

[David5o]

Vince,

The protecting us thing was just a bit of sarcasm, I just get so mad at times, of guy's just excepting the status quo, and not fighting back at it. Jeez you need every bit of help you can get when your at that communcation stage of things .... if you can use IM,QQ, Email.... bloody do everything you can to use it!!

David....

[Vince G]

Dave, I understood but which ever way you turn? It all helps but in the end the face to face brings the truth.

[David5o]

Vince,

Sure, but that goes for whatever way you go about things, far better to have those other means of communicating, than not have them. I reckon your gonna learn a lot more about each other with them, than without them too....

David......

[David E]

Guys

It seems now that so many threads and posts are ending up talking about the same thing....communication and how to move forward and add another level of confidence to a budding relationship.
This is obviously a key thought on everyone's mind. Plus the ever present concern about being scammed and whether or not the Agency/Translator is complicit in the scam.

On the one hand, we have loads of advice to move into alternative communication modes as quickly as we can organise it, on the other hand we are cautioned to be careful about stepping outside of EMF's because of concerns from the Women about safety/security.

I dont know how the other "prospectors" here are going to deal with this conflicting advice, but it has caused me to do a bit of head-scratching !!

On balance, what I plan to do from here on in is to allow the usual traffic of EMF's to proceed, and at a proper time.....weeks, not months.... explain to the woman how I feel the relationship should go from this point....ie, phone, email, QQ , Yahoo etc...and ask for a response to this plan.

If I get a positive...continue, if I get.."too busy", "poor English", "no computer" or all the other push-backs we know about, then I will drop that woman

DavidE

[Vince G]

I Don't Know? Am I looking at this differently? I have spent a full year communicating with my lady. We talk on the phone maybe once a week. Have not had webcam yet, or met ftf. I couldn't just throw her away because she didn't do something I asked like send new photos? We continue on because of how we connect with each other. Because of who she is and how she cares for me, and I for her. This is what I was trying to get across in the earlier post. She fits what I want and to just throw that away? So if your satisfied with the lady even though she won't webcam or has a email address? Make your choice early on. Some may misread what your posting. These are women, not accessories.