The Red Envelope is the envelope given to the brides family from the groom. I was told by an elderly Chinese woman who lives here and has been teaching me some things about Chinese culture, that everything in china is about money. Even the language change to simplified Mandarin, while political was based partly in saving money. Terminology in the language itself has basis in money. I cannot think of anything in particular about that but that is what she has said. We as westerners love money but it is not the be all and end all for most of us. I have quit talking to and seeing two friends because they both asked straight out for things. One was a laptop and one was an MP4 player. These were not girlfriends just friends. We are all worried about being taken advantage of. But to them it is not such a big deal. They ask and if you say no it is ok. That is why the "Red Envelope" is such a big deal. In that, Money is not money it is face. The more money in it the more face the family has and the bride has. The higher the standing of the family the more money is supposed to be in it. Therefore in a family that has a decent standing for a second marriage should be about 30,000 to 40,000 RMB. She has told me that even if the bride says it is ok for a smaller amount it is something that may stick with her for her entire life. So think carefully about it. I am just passing this info on so maybe we can consider that when making decisions and not fly off the handle when talked about.
Also as has been said here many times the numbers 8 and 9 have great meaning. So instead of 30,000 it should be 29,999 or 28,888, 8 is love and 9 is longevity
Now the younger generation is not so hung up on it. Younger is under 30. But, she may have some pressure from her family and it could have an effect on your standing both with her and the family. Like I said I am just passing this info on, take it for what it is worth.
I would not say that everything about the Chinese culture is money, though we are very practical people!
In Mainland China, the written language is Simplified Chinese, the main spoken language is referred to as Putonghua (it is the same as Mandarin, and "Putonghua" means common language). In Hong Kong and Taiwan, the written language is Traditional Chinese, and the spoken language in Taiwan is Mandarin and in Hong Kong is Cantonese. The reason for simplifying the Chinese written language in the Mainland has NOTHING to do with money, the reason has to do with the low literacy rate after the Cultural Revolution, the government then decided to simplify the written language hoping to increase literacy.
As some of you have mentioned, the “Red Envelope” is mostly given during special occasions such as Chinese New Year, weddings, special gatherings, etc. During Chinese New Year, the elders and married couples give Red Envelopes as a sign of “good luck” to the younger people – you should NOT refuse Red Envelopes in general as you are refusing “good luck”; unmarried people usually do NOT give Red Envelopes, except to their parents as a sign of “thanks” if they are already adults. During weddings, guests give Red Envelopes to help the newlyweds with the bills since it is understood that they have to spend a lot of money during the course of marriage. As for the money (dowry) given to the Bride’s family, this is given as “thanks … for raising your wife (the daughter)” since traditionally the bride is no longer considered a member of her family, and is now “given” to the groom’s family; this amount can vary greatly, mainly depends on the finance of the groom's family, the more well off they are the more the amount – some really rich families have given the equivalent of 10’s of millions of US dollars to the bride’s families for this purpose and this is no joke! Also, unlike western culture, the groom’s family pays for ALL expenses for the process of marriage and the wedding.
Yes, some numbers have special meanings because it sounds similar; the number 8 sounds like ?, ?, or rich/prosperity and 9 sounds like ? or long/longevity.
As with most parts of the world, younger people are less traditional, in fact many of them may not even understand the imprecations behind the traditional practices, as such they are less likely to follow.
Hope this clarifies some of the myths behind the Chinese culture.
-W-
