Funny things your wife/girlfriend says !

[Irishman]

My wife says she is going to Vancouver (hoover) the floor when its needs cleaning
Potatoes ALWAYS are called tomatoes and tomatoes ALWAYS are called potatoes No matter how hard I try to help her remember with things like you cook potatoes in a pot etc, she always mixes them up, at this stage she just talks about potato/tomato and I guess which she means depending on what I know is in the kitchen!

Oh, one more, she was cooking dinner the other day and said did I want concubine!  , I had a little think about that one and realised she meant cucumber and said yes I'd like some cucumber ! She then realised what she said and bust out laughing, so I added I'd have a nice concubine too if she knew a good one for me

Anyone else got some funny things your wife says that makes you smile ?

[RobertBfrom aust]

Ronan , very early on Sujuan kept asking for 2 computers , this had me thinking as she already had a laptop until she took me to buy them , yes you guessed it , she wanted 2 cucumbers .
 Tonight she has cooked up a storm for a few friends 1500mm round table laden with beautiful food when we were finished she announced that for sweets we would have black snake with sugar ha ha imagine everybody sighing with relief when what she brought to the table was a large plastic box full of blackcurrent snake sweets , regards Sujuan and Robert . Oh , and yes Chicken feet were on the menu .

[shaun]

Peggy says the day before yesterday and I will say you mean tomollow?  She says yes.  I still need to add a zero to every price she gives me.  If she says 150RMB she mean 1500RMB.

[Arnold]

Darn , I'm left out in the Cold there . My LaoPo's english is just well enough , that I'm out of Luck to hear such funny stuff .. waaaah .

Ohhh .. wait a minute ! Just remembered , after coming Home from her English Class .. she always hops on the Freeway and when she saw that big Truck next to her on the On-ramp ( no not Martin's ) .. she speeded up to 80 MPH and as luck would have it . There was a Highway Patrol right there and yes .. he pulled her over . Let me see your License/Registration , as he was looking these over .. she told him .. Sir , I just started Driving not too long ago and I'm new at this . You know what ? This Guy let her go without a Ticket , which I find amazing . But she talked her way out of one , even without showing a Leg . hahaha
As you might think , she was pretty shaken up .. as she told me at Dinner time . What got me , was that she knew she had to pull over .. when I never taught her about this part .. if ? Funny , now she ran out of Gas twice and got stopped ones . Good way to learn about Emergencies this way . What I am waiting for next , is ... what she'll do if a Ambulance or Fire Truck is behind her . This of course I've told her about beforehand , but still .. one never knows about Chinese Driver's .

[Vince G]

OK I thought you were going to say when the cop asked for the License / Registration she told him it's on the back of the car? 

[David K]

Actually, my wife says lots of things that could make me smile - or laugh. But then I realise the huge chasm that she faces in trying to learn a strange and illogical language from scratch, and also the potential 'loss of face' if I burst out laughing. So I just take it very gently, explain that there is a more accurate way of saying it, and compliment her on her excellent progress in English. Quite often she then laughs; we both do. And Tomatoes vs Potatoes is a standing joke around our kitchen 

[lfputman3]

OK I thought you were going to say when the cop asked for the License / Registration she told him it's on the back of the car? 

That would have been hilarious

[Neil]

OK I thought you were going to say when the cop asked for the License / Registration she told him it's on the back of the car? 

That would have been hilarious

And completely understandable.  The English language is horrible.

[Rhonald]

I know I have related this story before, but since my Pen Is in my hand, I will write it once again 

On my second trip with my son, my wife had bought a bag full of peanuts for us to eat. She told my son, " I like eat peanuts."
And she couldn't understand why my son would laugh at this. Later on behind closed doors when I was telling her how to say in English certain body parts  she needed me to go over the difference in sound between peanuts & a specific male body part. She cracked up laughing when she understood my son's amusement.

Needles to say she learned that peanuts does not have a silent T 

[Rhonald]

The other funny thing she would say when going out to buy vegetables is, " I go out buy Rubbish."

Luckly the vegetables never tasted like rubbish and she now prounounces it correctly, but I will miss some of the cute words she comes up with as her English improves. Choosing between Taxi or Bussie, so sweet she sounds that thinking of her right now make me miss her.

[Neil]

That is cute Rhonald.  I hope she can come soon.

My wife's sister-in-law who lives in Canada taught her that candies are "Yummy".  Now many things are yummy, even things that, to my mouth at least, are not so yummy. 

[Vince G]

I have to give homage to a chinese girl I worked with a few years back. This younger pretty woman was the one that put me on this path. I was interviewed for this local company but did not get it. A few days later I was asked to come in for another interview? The company was bought out by B&Der. I was hired temporary first as a helper in the A/P dept. They moved me into the credit manager position in one day. 

She was in imports. She was engaged at the time so I wasn't trying to steal her away and she did marry the guy after I left this job. But her booth was next to mine.  There was an older chinese women that I had to keep her (actually there were two women) daily activities accounted for. But anyway they would talk back and forth and because I was in the middle, I would put my humorous two cents in. Though her english was good she would still say things like "u so funny".

They did speak chinese many times which did not bother me but did the other lady working there who told them one eve after I left that they should not speak chinese this is America speak english. They told me of this the next morning. So of course there came a time when they were speaking english from their booths and I had to interrupt with no english speaking here chinese only. In which started the whole office in an uproarious laugh. Fun times.

[shaun]

I know I have related this story before, but since my Pen Is in my hand, I will write it once again 

On my second trip with my son, my wife had bought a bag full of peanuts for us to eat. She told my son, " I like eat peanuts."
And she couldn't understand why my son would laugh at this. Later on behind closed doors when I was telling her how to say in English certain body parts  she needed me to go over the difference in sound between peanuts & a specific male body part. She cracked up laughing when she understood my son's amusement.

Needles to say she learned that peanuts does not have a silent T 

I wasn't going to tell about this one but since Ron was bold enough I'll tell you that I have forbid Peggy to say in America "My husband likes to eat peanuts."  When I first told Peggy what she said in English she blushed but since then she will say it every now and just to get a rise out of me.  Oooo bad choice of words but I do rise to the occasion just to make her laugh.

[Mikael_Shim]

Well, my gf speaks english quite well but there are a few funny oddities popping up now and then. The latest one was when she was talking about Malilian Monlow and i asked who??? Malilian Monlow she said and looked at me like i was stupid. It took a while to realize she was talking about Marilyn Monroe. Jason Statham has also turned into some Russian sounding fellow named Jessen Steshm . Most Chinese make a lot of funny sounding pronounciations for a lot of words containing strong "R".

[Vince G]

Marilyn Monroe now that isn't so bad. She could of asked about Marilyn Manson.