Author Topic: Ladies who visit you first.  (Read 4951 times)

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Offline Iceland

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Ladies who visit you first.
« on: June 04, 2011, 06:15:34 pm »
Hi all ... it's Saturday night ... wondering time.

I was thinking ...

What would happen if I put in my profile at Chnlove I was specifically looking for a lady who would be willing to come visit me instead of me visiting her in China? I would of course pay all her expenses and give her information with 100% proof that I am who I say I am ... would it work? I mean ... do you think I would actually find someone who would be willing to take a chance like that?

What do you think ... or has it maybe been tested and tried?
« Last Edit: June 05, 2011, 06:31:04 am by Iceland »

Offline shaun

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2011, 06:26:47 pm »
I think someone mentioned it before but I don't remember if they tried it or the results.  But two thoughts come to mind.   1. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  2. My first impression is that most Chinese women wouldn't do it because of the potential risk.  You know, you go there on their turf so the feel comfortable.

Offline maxx

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2011, 07:45:19 pm »
Iceland like everybody is telling you it is real hard.For a single Chinese woman to travel abroad.Your best chance of success is for you to make the trip to China.

Offline Iceland

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2011, 08:06:18 pm »
It may make a difference what country you are from, and since you don't list that, I can only comment on if you lived in the U.S.A.

I am an Icelander in Iceland.

Anyway ... I just went ahead and changed my profile according to what I was thinking and refreshed it.

Will someone reply to my new profile? Let's see.

Offline David K

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2011, 11:34:52 pm »
My lady - now wife ;-) was quite willing to visit me first in NZ after a few months WebCam, and we had even booked the tickets. However, then a problem: Immigration. Seems the world over, there are Red Flags for single girls from asia without large sums of money in their bank wanting to visit single guys in Western countries. I had a battle ( which I won) but had to pay a bond to guarantee her return to China. We were married in NZ before she returned ( briefly ), to Harbin. Was it worth all the trouble? Absolutely!  :-)
Nothing Real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists

Offline Iceland

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2011, 01:44:59 am »
That is nice to know. Maybe I can pull it off also.

I already received two "admire" letters to my newly freshed up profile. Both say as usual they are very interested in me after reading my profile, but it is obvious neither of them has and I doubt either of them even knows I have received "their" letter. If someone is still wondering if those "admire" letters are fake, there you have it.

But I think I will go ahead with this "experiment".

Offline halfpint

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2011, 01:51:00 am »
My girlfriend in Shanghai came to visit me in Canada, but only after I'd visited her in Shanghai.  I doubt she would have come here 1st.  It was very fortunate she got a tourist visa, its not easy.  I think your best option is going to China 1st, but hey, give it a try.
My qin ai de is in Shanghai, and I'm not

Offline David K

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2011, 02:18:20 am »
I should also mention the great "I work for a travel agency" heist. A fellow kiwi met a girl from the phillipines on the net - a stunning looker. After the preliminary skirmishing it came down to: "I want to visit you to ensure you are single, have no hidden girlfriends and are free to marry". He sent the fare and was sent back a scan of her ticket: time date, flight no. the whole works... Excitement.... There can't have been enough blood left to service his brain... Out to the airport.. no show..several repeats.. finally it dawned on him. The pix were of a well known phillipino film star..   Caveat Emptor
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Offline Clayton

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2011, 02:39:18 am »
This is a tricky subject, when i first approached the immigration agent in Adelaide for visa help he said that if i wanted a tourist or visitors visa he could not help.  But i have learned since there are other ways of going about it , for instance, a single person can come to Australia on a student visa so long as they actually study, English for example, and they have 10000 Yuan in the bank.. I actually got that info from a young Chinese student  And i think if i had approached the immigration department personally and put up some sort of guarantee i could have got my now wife here on a 3 month visa, they are actually approachable like that, not everything is set in concrete, so i think it's worth a try bloke.
Cheers
Leeroy
This is the way to go

Offline David K

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2011, 04:46:52 am »
This is a tricky subject..... A single person can come to Australia on a student visa so long as they actually study, English for example, and they have 10000 Yuan in the bank..  i could have got my now wife here on a 3 month visa, they are actually approachable like that....
Leeroy
Actually, by the time us flatnoses cotton on, the holes in the system are so well used they are blocked by the time we get there. As always, it comes down to money. Quite common in NZ is for a chinese student to enroll in a 3 year course, pay for the first year, arrive, and then transfer to a 3 month chefs course. Soon after that something like "Georgeous Chinese student seeking a new life would like to meet kiwi bloke; object: marriage"  appears on the local dating site. Marriage + 12 months together= PR (permanent residency). Uni courses are $15K-$25K pa. A small price for some parents to pay to get their kids out of China. Naturally Immigration are now checking attendance records - some years to late :-)

Nice work if you can get it  ;D
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Offline Paul

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2011, 08:38:47 pm »
My lady - now wife ;-) was quite willing to visit me first in NZ after a few months WebCam, and we had even booked the tickets. However, then a problem: Immigration. Seems the world over, there are Red Flags for single girls from asia without large sums of money in their bank wanting to visit single guys in Western countries. I had a battle ( which I won) but had to pay a bond to guarantee her return to China. We were married in NZ before she returned ( briefly ), to Harbin. Was it worth all the trouble? Absolutely!  :-)

David, if you don't  mind me asking, how long did the whole process take in New Zealand for you? It's early days for me but I guess there is no harm in being one step ahead from the outset. Presumably it was the Immigration Department in Wellington you were dealing with?

Offline David K

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2011, 11:51:49 pm »
Quote
David, if you don't  mind me asking, how long did the whole process take in New Zealand for you? It's early days for me but I guess there is no harm in being one step ahead from the outset. Presumably it was the Immigration Department in Wellington you were dealing with?
Hi Paul...That little flag on your profile looks like an NZ one, so I guess you are a kiwi...

FWIW, here's my take: I've dealt with Immigration NZ in New Zealand and found them very professional and actually quite helpful. However my dealings with INZ's overseas branches have been an absolute nightmare. Depending on where your lady is, you will be dealing with the Beijing office or the HK one. Both are staffed with frontline people who are not native English speakers and who's main purpose in life seems to be to say NO, regardless. You will find a lot of the detail in my earlier posts.

First off, I would visit your lady in China. There are now 4 airlines flying to PRC, the cheapest of these being Royal Brunei @ $880 return. This is partly to satisfy Immigration later that the relationship is 'serious' but mostly to protect you. You are about to make a major investment of time, money and heartstrings, and, as the brothers here will tell you, there are many dragons about that will ensnare the unwary..

Second, either find an Immigration Adviser ( they must now be registered and cost $$) or take the time to read through the INZ operations manual, available on the INZ website.  I took the later option.

Thirdly, talk to other kiwis that have been through the mill.There is a kind of collective wisdom available.

Fourthly, take the time, ahead of time to wise up on Chinese culture, dating customs and whatever else you can find.. Candle in the Wind has some good info, the brothers here can advise on other sites. The Chinese mind does not work as the Western mind - just look at the respective written scripts for proof :-)

Fifthly, check your own inventory of skills. Do you have patience, perseverance and trust?? Are you prepared to become a parent all over again, teaching the equivalent of a baby a new language, an new culture; to be a wise father figure in dealing with the myriad of uncertainties that the Chinese experience, but suppress beneath the 'inscrutable'; to be vigilant not to cause 'loss of face' in any public situation??

So to actually answer your question, it took 18 months and well over a 2 feet pile of paperwork from me visiting China, to her visiting NZ.
Since visiting NZ, we have been granted a work Visa and have an application for PR (Permanent Residency) in the pipeline, which I expect will be granted.

Its been a long haul. Was it worth it?? Absolutely!! We are very happy together  ;)

Good Luck!!
David K
PS: The above is NOT immigration advice, is not systematic or for a fee!!!
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 11:57:32 pm by David K »
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Offline Clayton

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2011, 02:36:05 am »
Well said David
This is the way to go

Offline Paul

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2011, 03:37:50 am »
Thanks David K,

That is an incredibly helpful post. I can't believe I have been doing this mostly on my own for so long when there has been a wealth of information out there.

I already actually have my flights booked and am taking the new flight from Auckland to Guangzhou direct in 4 weeks time, followed by a domestic flight. This direct service has only been available for the last two months and came about because of Melbourne's insistence on red tape. China Southern Airways were initially going to introduce a direct flight between Melbourne and Guangzhou. After having read about all the pit-falls others have suffered, I am keeping my fingers crossed that things are all that they appear to be.

The points you make are very helpful and I will check out some of the tips you have given me. I am already well versed on Chinese history and culture but I reckon I could do with some help on dating tips so I will certainly be researching the sites you mention. I have a reasonable grasp of Mandarin but I'm sure I'm very capable of screwing up given the chance.

I suspect that you may be from Christchurch. If so, I hope the latest shakes this week have not disrupted your life too much. My heart goes out to the people of Christchurch after the events of the last few days.

Anyway, thanks again for taking the time and effort to post the above.

Offline David K

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Re: Ladies who visit you first.
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2011, 09:26:38 pm »
...After having read about all the pit-falls others have suffered, I am keeping my fingers crossed that things are all that they appear to be.
.. The whole thing is an exercise in the development of trust...as all true relationships
are... and this is territory traversed by Chinese sages in times past.... LaoTzu (2500BCE) for example .. (Amazing how much information can be conveyed in just 4 symbols )
... or Seng-ts'an.. (600AD)

...I have a reasonable grasp of Mandarin but I'm sure I'm very capable of screwing up given the chance....
I would suggest investing in an electronic translator.. and preferably a good one..
Its saved the day many time for Yan and I.. its very cheap insurance...
Speaking of which, make sure you have adequate travel insurance.. mine was autoprompted when I brought the ticket, but I suspect China Southern may not
be up with the play here... 
Likewise, be overcautious with updating your vaccinations...

And similarly, if all goes well, prepare for your upcoming battle with NZ Immigration.
Photos in abundance. Save EMAILS, backup Yahoo or whatever you use
Attached is the Beijing checklist as a start :)

..I suspect that you may be from Christchurch.
Auckland actually. Tho I have friends in ChCh who have boulders appearing overnight
on their front lawns.
But the earth did move when my lady arrived..

Bon Voyage..go well.......
Nothing Real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists