How many Chinese hearts have been broken?

[Iceland]

Yesterday I was chatting to a beautiful lady on Chnlove I had never contacted before. I noticed that she had first posted her profile with the agency/Chnlove 3 years ago.

For some time I have wondered about this ... that is ... I have seen many ladies there who have had their profiles up for several years but where still apparently looking although I am sure they had been contacted many times.

I asked her about this and she told me that in all this time it was true that she had been contacted by many men. In some cases she had thought that she had met someone interested and serious but in the end they had all disappeared.

She told me that the last one she was in contact with through EMF's had after 4 months of letters suddenly sent her a letter last month to tell her he had decided to quit her and stop the communication.

I asked her if he had given her a reason for this and she said that he had said in his last letter he was quitting because he had realized he could not give her a good enough life.

Then he had just blocked her away from sending a reply. She told me she was trying to get over this experience and that is why she was chatting there for the first time.

And I could hear through her story that this man had broken her heart badly after getting her hopes up high by pretending he was serious about her and capable of going through with his words.

And it got me wondering ...

There are many stories here and there on the Internet about Chnlove/agencies being a scam.

Well, we all know that the admire letters are fake and that some of the agencies have been swindling in several occasions and scamming men ... but how many stories have not been told of men who have fooled/scamed the ladies and broken their hearts?

I bet there are thousands of these that we never get to hear.

The fact is that most of the ladies on Chnlove, at least those who are over thirty, are real and really trying their best to find a soulmate. According to Chnlove policies they have to prove their identity before they're profile is submitted.

The men, however, don't have to prove anything. Anyone can sign up and they only need an email to do that. This means of course that any jerk can sign up with a fake email and then fake their profile, not to mention all the men who have no intentions of going through with their promises or do not have the means to do it.

These men can easily play with the ladies hearts back and forth and then go ahead and break them completely without having to face any consequences for their doings. They can then go ahead and do it again, and again.

So, having read many comments from men who are not "happy" with their experience with Chnlove, I wonder if they have ever thought about the story from the ladies points of view.

I bet, that to every "scam"-story men tell of Chnlove and the agencies, there are at least 10 sad stories of men who have been the real dirt bags.

[Vince G]

I bet, that to every "scam"-story men tell of Chnlove and the agencies, there are at least 10 sad stories of men who have been the real dirt bags.

I will bet your right. I think this is the subject that started me reading and replying to the forums. I had written plainly of sending fake EMF's to women isn't a smart thing to do. I have read about some men making fake profiles and sending letters out as revenge. There are some that sent letters to see if the woman writes back? (but the translator will). Yet the best advice given by others... "If she won't give you another way of communicating (email, ph, QQ#) just drop her"? How many times I have said if the translator edits it out why blame the woman?

These guys remind me of my ex-wife. In one breath she'll say "He never worked" and in the next breath says "He worked all the time and was never home"? This is what these guys do. First they say it's all the translator then they say if she won't give her number drop her. Meanwhile the poor woman doesn't know what is going on except the western men are crazy.

[David E]

Yep...

I completely agree Vince....

There are thousands and thousands of "Men" out there who are "would-be's/could-be's/wanna-be's/sleazes/misfits/cranks and no-hopers who's only pleasure in an otherwise miserable life is to spend a few bucks and have some fun with Chinese/Russian/Other women.

They have not the slightest intention of ever getting serious and actually visiting such ladies...they just get their jollies by being bastards. They pretend to be Mr Perfect with false/deceitful profiles...just because they can in the modern Internet World.

The small minority of genuine and decent Men...(such as the Bros here) have to contend with the results these morons generate in the minds of decent Chinese (or other) Women.

Add this to the never ending quest for Money that CHNLove has via the EMF system and it is a miracle that any relationships can survive.

But some do and that must be testimony to "hope springs eternal....."

[shaun]

I agree there are some real sleaze balls out there.  Peggy tells me that I was the first man to not ask her to take her clothes off on the web-cam.   That impressed her the most.  What kind of sickness is this.  These women are real, they have feelings, they have dreams just like we do.

I really feel bad about the first woman.  She had been on for a long time.  The last thing the translator told me before I walked away from her was that if I didn't work out that she was finished looking for western men.  I've checked a few times and the last time was a couple of weeks ago when I checked out Willy's flaming thread on the other site.   She hasn't updated her profile in almost 2 years.  Don't get me wrong, I love Peggy and wouldn't change a thing about her but it hurts a little to know that I am some of the baggage of the other woman's dislike for western men.  The agency caused that mistrust but it is still there.

But then you have another dynamic.  These women who come over and their husbands treat them like crap.  It burns me up when I see it.

No it isn't a bed of roses for many of these woman who choose to look beyond their country for a husband and it breaks my heart for them and angers me when I see a man doing it.

[David K]

Its a two way trip; Western hearts have been dinged as well
One Webcam session is worth a thousand EMFs

[chen yan]

The first and hardest thing for ladys who put their profiles in the dating website is to pick out the good man and kick out the cheater. It takes a lot of time to filter out the bad man and it's very annoying that you couldn't help to think why there are so many basters with all day long wander around to waste of my time? Where is the good man ? I guess good man is too busy to show up in the dating webstie.

Here,We are not even mention some young lady who just step out from school, no one have ever teach them how to prevent fraud in the school and their mother only remind them be careful those older man. They only gain experience after getting hurt. I think the first lesson for a lady to learn is be smart and learning how to avoid fraud .  But there are still have some women who haven't take this lesson in their older age. That's why there are so many broken hearts.

[Kiwi303]

Theres a saying:

"Life's a Bitch, and then it's over"

Me, I'm rationing to one EMF a fortnight or a month, there will be plenty of time in China to get to know each other while I'm teaching English there.  That's the whole point of going to China in the first place, I prefer to get to know someone in the flesh, rather than a polished online presence.

[Axiom]

The small minority of genuine and decent Men...(such as the Bros here) have to contend with the results these morons generate in the minds of decent Chinese (or other) Women.

This. A thousand times this.

A few stupid, selfish people will always destroy things for decent, honest people.

[Willy The Londoner]

Most of you guys will never know the full extent as to what a lot of these women go through.  During my time running an agency the rubbish that came from men was unbelieveable.  They think because they spent the cost of a McDonalds meal for one that they can say just what they like to women.  Women that have paid two or three months wages to be with a Chnlove Agency in the hope of finding a decent man.

Some of the worst offenders were quite irate that I closed the agency and removed from them a cheap perverts and game players facility.

Willy

[john1964]

I am embarrassed to reply to this post but something inside me tells me that i have to do so.
I have always been intrigued by China and the people there so in early 2010 i decided to make my dream come true to plan my first vacation and see the sights, one web site lead to another and it was "Chnlove" , I had no intention what so ever of finding a Chinese bride, I received the usual "admiration" mail from many women but only one took my attention,  I replied to her letter and we exchanged daily mail for a few weeks and i found myself very attracted to her and i could not wait to finish work every day just to read her e,mail.
I am sorry to say that i, in the beginning thought this site would be a good way to find a friend and nothing else, I tell you all now that i had no intentions to mis-lead any woman or break their hearts .
MinYing, "My wife" told me that she had several contacts with men before me but she after a while felt them to be not sincere so the letters ended, The longest contact was six months with a man from America but she felt he was playing games with her and she never met him , or anyone else from the "agency", Several times she thought she had found someone that she connected to but after a while she was very disappointed with the men playing games.
MinYing had almost given up with "western" men until we started to  correspond and we both felt a connection very soon in our contact,

The bottom line is that i joined to find a friend and have a bit of fun, Not to break hearts or mis-lead but to enjoy myself,
I love my wife with a passion and would give my life for her but there are still "men' out there who get a "thrill" out of breaking hearts, I am not one of them.
 
   

[Bee964]

How many times I have said if the translator edits it out why blame the woman?

I read somewhere in Chnloves' policies that the agency is supposed to give the lady the translated letter as well as the original in the mans native language without any editing. Did anybody else read this in their policies?

From my experience it seems that there are some men that are real dirt bags playing these women on various sites. There also may be just as many women doing the same thing to the "rich western men" on these sites. Maybe not as many or maybe more, I do not know. I never really looked into the exact numbers, but I have experienced it. You just have to be careful in your search for your Mr. or Mrs. Right. I thought I was careful in my search and was taken for a ride by both an agency (about 5 months of EMF's) and almost one lady. I am sure that there are many stories from many people on these sites about problems that they have experienced in their search. But also there may have been hearts broken by their opposite just because one person may have fallen for the person they have been writing to and it was not reciprocal. If a man is writing to a woman for some time and has fallen for a woman but the woman does not feel the same she will continue on in her search and may break the heart of the man. Same can be said for the woman that falls for the man but the man does not feel the same way. He will move on in his search, thus breaking the womans heart. I would not classify these people as being players or of playing games but they are searching for the right person to fit in their lives.

The people that deliberately do this are not that many in my humble opinion. Some here may feel different about this. I also think that it is because of a couple rotten people that we as western men get a bad rap on any foreign dating site. The same can be said of the foreign women, that it is because of a couple rotten people that these women get a bad rap as looking for a rich man only or the ever present saying "looking for a green card".

I hope that the vast majority of the women and men on these sites are really looking for their soulmate to fulfill that dream of having the happily ever after type of life with their mates. As with anything on the internet, you have to be careful about what you say or do.

Dave C