How is having a baby when you're older?

[Willy The Londoner]

OK Willy...short course in Genetics follows :

Imagine that you take a photocopy of a picture, the first copy will be almost 100% perfect, there will be only a few small imperfections....dust on the copy plate, minor imperfections in the paper....

Now....take a photocopy of the photocopy and the original tiny imperfections will be seen again PLUS the same again from the extra copy.

Then copy this copy thousands of times....each time making a copy of the copy. Each time you make a copy the tiny imperfections ADD to the overall deterioration of the image. After several thousand copies of the copy, the picture would be filled with imperfections.

Wow I understand that Professor.  Seems like it is just as well that there are not a thousand Willy's around.

Willy

[shaun]

From a personal standpoint I can't even imagine me raising another child.  I think children are great.  I am hoping that grandchildren are better.    I love my father philosophy.  Spoil the grandchildren to punish the children for everything rotten they did to you. 

[Wilfred Motosue]

Thanks so much for all of your inputs. Wow, much to think about. Most say NO, it's a bad idea to have a kid at my age.  So I want to ask you another question.  For all you who have or had children and told me all the work and frustrations that wil come with having children:     DO YOU REGRET HAVING THEM IN YOUR LIFE OR YOU WOULD STILL DO IT AGAIN? 

Please tell me your age and if your children are still young or adults already.

THANKS!!!

Wilfred

[Wilfred Motosue]

That's a real tough one. Especially if you have never had any of your own. Your probably thinking the marital bliss that you are experiencing will be enhanced and completed with the addition of a child. This is by no means a prediction or a put down of your potential parenting but just consider the possibilities.

I have 5 of my own.  I have raised an additional two that belonged to someone else.  I now have a new 10 year old daughter that I may not live to see graduate. So I think I can speak with a little authority.

Kids are not all googoo- gaga and adorable cute. They of course have their precious moments but 99% of the time they are hard work and a pain in the butt.  They are going to demand your time, effort, money, sleep and commitment from the time they leave the womb. If you re 20 to 30 years old you just take it in stride and endure it but at age 60 plus you are going to be worn out ALL THE TIME.  This goes on for what seems forever but at age 6 or 7 you start to get a little relief. They can change their own clothes and fix their own peanut butter sandwich. And if your intimidating enough they may even make their bed and help mom around the house but don't count on it. Kids are inherently lazy about housework and would rather go play. you had better learn to count to three cause your going to be doing it a lot. But the relief is short lived. They soon become young adolescents with a mind of their own. It is now on the eve of their teens you begin to realize the real work has just begun.

Get ready for......

bad grades
eyeglasses.
immunization.
homework
fights
fights without taking off your eyeglasses.
arguments
bedtime
backtalk
sleepless nights
bed wetting
measles, mumps, chickenpox,
headlice.
naps
tantrums
tantrums in the store
tantrums in church
piano
gymnastics
what do you mean, your pants don't fit?
I just bought those shoes last month!
band
football
basketball
smoking
drugs
it's not mine. it belongs to a friend.
I don't do drugs, honest
Mr. M this is the sheriffs department. We need you to come down to the station.
I don't have to listen you you.
I'm not a child. I am old enough.
I do what I want. Fuck you dad!
Rehab.
college... take a deep breath.
now let it out.
 community college 9,000 per year
 a good school, 35,000 per year.
there goes your 401k.

what the heck, you almost done.
dating,
marriage,
grand kids.
are you even going to be around for the last chapter?

OK, I have spewed enough. Dont take offense but seriously, it is a lot of work and at your age I doubt that you can handle it. And I dont think you will be around to finish it. 
So ask yourself and your wife. Are you up for the marathon of a lifetime? Do you have the endurance to pull it off? Does she realize that she will probably complete the task without you? Can she do it? Will you leave her debt free with enough resources so she can pull it off?  If you answer no to any of these questions then you should consider dropping the subject and put your efforts into enjoying the marital bliss and not spoiling it. You've worked hard all you life you deserve to relax and enjoy life for a change.

Thanks Pineau. I read your post over and over to make sure i really want to go through all of this.
Wilfred

[Wilfred Motosue]

And just to scare you half to death Wilfred.......

Do a Google or Wickepedia on "Tellomeres or Gene Tassellation"....then you will see just what is happening to a 60 yr old as far as gene integrity goes...and the possible consequences.

This is not a shot at you personally...it happens to all of us when we get beyond 50 or so.

Thanks David .  I will study this and make sure i have a conversation about this with her doctor. l will be asking about all the tests that can be done.  I am scared about this problem of course.
I am kind of confused  but did I see a notice that you and your wife just had a baby? Then I want to congratulations to both of you!!!  I will be on the look out for any of your posts about your new adventure.
Wilfred

[shaun]

Wilfred,

I don't regret raising three children.  I enjoyed them and still do. They are all adults now and are successful.  I am proud of all three.  If I were in my 20's again I would do it again but now I am 56 and ca't imagine me doing it. I am not saying I won't do it because circumstances could lead me to do it again but if you mean by choice then the answer would be no.

But Wilfred, you need to make a choice that is comfortable with you.  If I had never had children I am not sure what my decision would be.  Most people have the desire to raise children.  If you think you should do it and are willing to take the risks at an older age with other health issues then I would say go for it.  There is nothing like the joy of raising a child.  Some of my best memories come from my children.

[Neil]

I think kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.  I remember the utter terror I felt when my wife first became pregnant.  We do what needs to get done though.  I think it made me who I am today.

The doctor placed my first daughter in my arms seconds after she was born.  I remember the look on her face as she stared back at me.  I remember them calling me Daddy.  I recently watched them both graduate from high school.  They are worth every minute I spent raising them.  No regrets.

[Pineau]

Wilfred,

I am 59.
Lori, Gerry,Jennifer, Lisa, Erica, and Chandra, are all adults. All successful and raising their own families.
I have 17 grand children and 1 great grand son.  I can look back, sigh and say "I did it". But I don't know how. It was a struggle to say the least.  I got an early start I was finished raising MY kids by the time I was 47 so I did not have the worry of my widows survival.

Would I do it again? Probably not. But if so I would have a much better plan. And absolutely not at my current age.

I now have Katie. A 10 year old daughter that came with my new wife. I set out thinking no way. I made a hard and fast rule I will not accept another youngster. But when I fell for her mom I sort of set that rule aside. I will probably regret it. At my age and my family history I can say with near certainty that I will not be here to see her finish college. I think that is not fair to her and it is selfish of me. I will clock out just about the time when she will needs me the most. When she is starting her life struggle of school, marriage, family. But that's me, a selfish s-o-b.

[Wilfred Motosue]

Thanks again to all of you for your candid posts. There are good points on both sides of the fence.
Everyone is different too. And the children all come out different too. I think ,perhaps, it's whatever genes that they inherit cause I've heard from parents that you can raise 2 childen the same, at least you thought so, but they develop with  2 diffferent character and personalities. wow. So I'm thinking, if we have a child,  no matter how good we think we have raised our child, how they turn out might not be because of us. It just might be how they are made up inside, perhaps. So I shouldn't blame myself too much if he/she didn't come out as we wanted.  So I need to first , if we decide to have a child, check my sperm out and try to make sure we use a "good one" if that's possible , so we don't have problems from the  beginning and hope we have a child that has a good attitude and good outlook toward others and life. Geez , one guy said that his child was very good and he had no problems until the child hit the teen years. Yikes. So many scary turns in the road of parenthood huh? Life becomes unpredictable when you're a parent,  it seems. 

Thanks for taking so much of your time to clue me in on your experiences in raising your child. It is so interesting and thought provoking on my decision.  I want to bless my fiancee with all the love and happiness that she is giving me and this is one of the ways perhaps. Of course I have to be committed in wanting a child myself also cause this is a partnership and we have to do everything together or it won't work.
wilfred 

[Scottish_Robbie]

'Everyone is different too. And the children all come out different too. I think it's whatever genes that they inherit from you parents cause you can raise 2 childen the same, at least you thought so, but they later have 2 diffferent character and personalities. wow. So possibly how your child develops is determined by how you set an example in your life and they copy and follow your example and the other is what genes that child inherited from you as their parents.'

Wilfred
Sorry mate I have to disagree with this little piece you have written.

My kids are from hell and get into trouble, smoke hash etc..THEY NEVER GOT THAT FROM ME OR MY EX WIFE.... I am not saying I was a saint because I wasn't, but ...