How much luggage to bring?

[Mark_in_Canada]

In about 36 days, ah yes. I am counting down the days until I leave for Hangzhou to marry my beautiful girl. I was thinking of just bringing the
two carry on luggage, this way I did not have to wait for checked luggage, and nothing will go missing.
Just like to ask opinions of others that have traveled to China, is that enough ?. I will be there for 12 days.
Thanks!!!

[shaun]

The two trips I've taken before I took way too much stuff.  But then again I take things to leave there.  I won't take more than 4 days of clothing and am considering 3 days worth.  Hand washing and hanging it out is pretty much the norm over there.

[Martin]

I know when Chong went, he only took carry on. Worst case is, you run out of clothes, and you buy new stuff there.

[Rhonald]

I know when Chong went, he only took carry on.

That's because all his clothing was reversable (yes even his briefs) so he felt that he had twice as much clothing then just the one bag.

On 5 of my seven trips I also got away with just carry on, however, on the trip I married, needing to also take a suit, I took check in.

[Pineau]

You really dont need that many clothes. 3 or 4 days worth is about right. She will wash them and put them away before you run out.
I however carry my briefcase for important papers and my laptop. A carry on with my medications and things that cant be replaced if lost. I also carry two large checked bags full of food and gifts.  I used to look like a pack mule everywhere I went but now I have most of the stuff I need already in China, I just pack just essentials and the FOOD.

[Mark_in_Canada]

thanks everyone! Your comments are much appreciated!

[Willy The Londoner]

Hi Mark

Am I reading this correctly?  You have not been to China before so I take it that you have never actually met your lady face to face.  Yet you are planning to marry during your short stay here.

I do not want to put a dampening on the proceeding but!!!   I came here for an intial six weeks at first - to meet up with the womern I had been in contact with for many months, we had contact in all ways possible. I had all the papers ready for marriage but after we spent a few days together it was obvious that in real life we were not really suited. But that is another story.  Having stayed on and been living here for more than two years, and married someone I met here, I have seen a lot of marriages and unfortunately the ones that have not succeed on the whole are the ones where marriages took place within days of first face to face contact.

You may have made your plans but for any other still contemplating their journey I would suggest that getting married on the second trip is far better.

If you get married as and when yo plam I wish you all the best.

Willy

[shaun]

Even the third or fourth visit if possible.  October will be 2 years for Peggy and I.  Now this isn't the norm but I think by now we know each other well.  It wasn't the plan but we've used it to our benefit.  Neither of us are under any illusions about each other.  I know there are still things we don't know about each other but there is so much we do know.  There are guys here that married their first trip out and have been successful but I think I have seen more disaster than good.

[Mark_in_Canada]

your right, we have not met before. We have known each other for more than one year now. It seems we are well suited for each other. At least
our communication seems very good. I do respect what you have to say, as you have more experience in these matters than I have.
Maybe, it is true, tht you cannot really know someone until you spend actual time together. To be honest this is in the back of my mind as well.
I have been in two long relationships before this, with woman I have only known for a few months.
This is the longest time I have spent getting to know someone before making a comitment. Does it it make this better, I am not sure, but I am following  my gut instinct. I guess, if I feel things are not what I expected, I could back out.
I wonder whar she would think if I told her that maybe we should see how things go this first trip, before making a decision.
She is already planning things now, and may not be happy with my suggestion. Any suggestions, would be appreciated.

[Neil]

before I made my first trip to meet my wife, she wanted to get married during that first trip.  I told her that it's not a good idea.  We had to meet and be sure before we made any rash decisions.  She agreed and then she realized that it was a very mature outlook.  she didn't want a husband that made quick, impulsive decisions.  Take the car out for a test drive, so to speak.  The pictures sure look nice, the engine sounds great, but maybe it doesn't have reverse gear.  That might be a deal breaker...  (I hope that wasn't a terrible analogy.  I'm not talking about sex (completely) either.)

[Martin]

Well, I got married on my first trip, as did another former member, whom I consider a good friend.  Both of us had our marriages go south.  His was ended by his wife...he had married the same day he stepped off the plane.  He had never met her on web camera, but had spent many months getting to know her.  In my situation, I ended mine, after she lived here for 3 months...here, being Canada.  We had gotten married on the first trip.  We had done the web cam, emails, MSN, QQ, phone calls, you name it.

I am not telling you this, to tell you what to do.  That choice is yours.  And its not for me, or anyone else to tell you what to do.  But just be aware that things are different in face to face, than they are in the cyber world of emails and web cams.

[Pineau]

I met Fiona online in the summer of 2010. We began talking on QQ in July of 2010 (just over a year ago). I made two trips to China before we got married. I spent two weeks with her on my first trip. All day every day. She did not let me out of her sight until it was time for me to go to my hotel. I am glad to have that time with her. I learned a lot about her and her history family and ex husband. Much more in that two weeks than in several months of correpondence.

And I found out that her personality is much different that the one she portrayed online. I thought whe was a frumpy middle aged single mom. She is a middle aged single mom but she is far from frumpy. I was certainly surprised to find out she was fun, exciting and borderline crazy. I would never have guessed how different she was had I not shown up and spent the time with her. In my case I was happier with the  lady that I met face to face than the one that I had been talking to online. But it could have been the opposite. She could have turned out to be someone that was totally incompatable. The point being that they are on their best behavior and they portray the person they think  you want them to be. Unless they are very comfortable and confident in your relationship they will not reveal everything about themselves online and maybe not even your first face to face visit. Maybe you feel you have already talked enough and you know enough about her to make the commitment. I cant tell you what to do but I will suggest to you that you visit her first before making a commitment.

[David E]

1 year and 4 visits before my wife and I married........

I can say with some certainty that you cant begin to know the real person until you have spent some actual time together.

But everybody is different and will have different ways of doing things....there is no guarantee.

As they say..."festina lente" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jason B]

4 visits until we were married....would have been 3 but some papers were wrong (might be something to check if you plan to marry on the first trip - if there is a problem with papers can take time to fix up).

One thing for sure Xia would not marry me until I did the whole down on the knee and propose properly thing.  Even though we both knew that we would marry.

But be honest, meet her, and then decide together.  All that everyone has put here is their own experience and advice.  But what YOU TWO decide to do together is what matters and only what should matter.

[Pineau]

Ah HA !, there is you out. Your perfect excuse not to get married on this trip. Leave some essential document back home and you will need to make a second trip to retrieve it. 

Don't really leave it at home. Hide it in your suitcase. Just in case you decide to get married this trip, ( Oh look honey! here it is !)

Just joking, I have a devious mind sometimes.