Name change

[Willy The Londoner]

In talking here in the past few days, many women keep their Chinese name and their Chinese passport.  If they give up the Chinese nationality for a foreign one they lose any pension right they have built up here.  China does not allow dual nationality.

OK its nice for the men to have a beautiful Chinese wife named Mrs Whatever.  But in the long run is it just self satisfaction in the mind of men? Is it really in the interest of the women?

We go into these things all lovey dovey but we know that breakups do happen,  deaths do happen. So the question should be 'What happens to her if we part or I leave this earth if she has given up her Chinese birthright"

Willy

[Neil]

Not exactly along the lines of what I was wondering, but if she does change her name, does it affect her name in China?  I mean, I know it's a connected world, but is it that connected?

[maxx]

Neil In China and when buying airplane tickets for international travel.My wife uses her family name.In America she uses my family name.My wife's passport has her family name.Any official business in China my wife uses her family name.My wife I.D. card her social security card.And any official business in America.My wife uses my family name.

[David E]

Vince

If you are married or in a legal de-facto relationship when you eventually depart this mortal coil, I imagine that your Will (no not Willy !!!) will mention that your wife is the beneficiary....does not matter then what she is called as long as she can provide proof of her marriage and domicile with you...should be easy.

That is what my Lawyer advises me anyway

[Willy The Londoner]

Just to make my thoughts clearer. If a wife changes her name and takes on a foreign passport then in the event she wants to return to China at any time she will need to obtain a visa and abide by all the restrictions upon it.  Even risking a visa not being granted.

Willy

[Pineau]

When I married Jing she changed her name from Hu Jing to Jing Hu Pineau. So she actually kept her name and just added mine at the end. We did this on the marriage certificate and it made ting so smooth in applying for her green card and SSN, drivers license etc. And we didn't have the confusion of people asking if we were married or just living together. Also when Jason stated school we changed his name also. That made everyone in the household have the same family name avoided a lot of questions from his schoolmates and teachers.  It was a clean break and I think it was the right decision.

When Fiona arrives in America we will do the same thing for her and her daughter. It just makes the future so much easier.

One thing that Willy mentioned is certainly true. Since she is an American now, when she visits China she needs to apply for a VISA same as me.

[Willy The Londoner]

Maybe keeping her own citizenship isn't a bad idea? But then again maybe she wants to stay? I'll let you know in 30 years or so?

I for one look forward to hearing the result in 30 years or so.

Willy

[Vince G]

We'll Be Friends 'Til We're Old & Senile… Then We'll Be New Friends!

[Martin]

Neil, I am going to take a stab at your question, although I have no first hand knowledge.  But, if she legally takes on your name, then she will have to legally get a new passport with her new name on it.  Also, he ID needs to be changed.  She cant legally go by Mrs Pridgeon, and then try to keep all her old documents to use them when they are handy.  Either she has to go all the way, or go the route that Maxx suggested, where, everyone knows her as Mrs Pridgeon, but legally, her name was never changed.

[Jim]

Gina said it may even impact her retirement if she changed her name. But, I dont know if that truly is the case. Plus in China it is not normally the practice of wives to take their husbands name. At least that is what I have been told.

[Arnold]

Plus in China it is not normally the practice of wives to take their husbands name.

Very true Jim . Like Maxx said .. I'd keep chinese Matter's in your Wife's Family Name and after moving to whatever Country .. there do it with her taking your last Name . This way , she'll not loose anything that she has acquired so far in her Life there .. or just keep it the way it is and not change it at all . Weigh matter's and choose what's best for both of you . Qing wanted to carry my last Name and I wanted her to keep Qing instead of Cher , talked over and done with .

[Willy The Londoner]

Can I ask, why you men want your wives to change their name. It may be the practice in your country But for a good part of the world it is not so.

Why does she have to take your name? The people who matter know that you are married.  Why does it matter if someone you have never met before and are hardly likely to meet again thinks your not married. 

She can call her self what she likes in any country provided it is not for an illegal purpose .For her own sake she should keep her own name.  Give it up officially and she loses any pension rights in China and much more.
 
WE know that at the moment you are in love etc etc and are together until your dying days.  BUT how many others have thought that and have ended up with a split relationship.  We can name them on here, but how many other members are no longer here because the relationship has floundered and they have gone away quietly and not told a sole.

So fellows think to the future. 

Do not be selfish.  The taking of your name officially is more to do with your ego and not her true wish i feel.


Willy

[Martin]

Well, for some, it is important.  My first wife, I never asked her to take my last name, but she did.  And even though it really was not an important thing for me, I was really honoured when she did it.  To me, it seemed like such a giving thing, to give up her last name in place of mine.  I see nothing wrong with the idea, provided both agree with it.

[Jason B]

My take on the whole thing is that Xia will never change her Chinese name and to us it is a non issue.  Like most girls on China Love she adopted an English name (Wendy) and that is what all my family call her and how she introduces herself to other people here in Australia and usually she will just say that she is my wife.   My family are also aware that her surname is not the same as mine (Shi - which means Stone) and do not care one way or the other.  She is my wife and that is all that matters.

Using her Chinese name also made it easy when she needed to get her first couple of Australian documents (Medicare, registering for the hospital to do natal and have the baby and to register for English classes etc.) as the only identification she had was her Chinese Passport.  It also matches the name on her visa so there is no problems for any papers that we do.  Although at times we do get some confused lookes as to why they call an Asian girl's name and a laowei comes with her.  This usually only lasts the first visit somewhere, but seems to be all the time we go to the doctor as we go to an English speaking Chinese doctor so we can both better understand what is going on.

As Willy mentioned I think that a woman taking a mans name after marriage is an old fasion thing.  Not for everyone and when I am trying to make it as easy as possible and not cause any problems for Xia to assimulate into the Australian way of life a non issue for us and others may do as they wish.

When the baby is born it will have my surname.  If it is a  boy it will be Jack, if a girl Laura, we will find out during the next ultra sound on monday 7th November.

So my name is Jason (NEVER) Wright, her name is Xia Shi - Wendy (ALWAYS) Wright, and the baby will be Jack or Laura Wright with a Chinese middle name dependent on whether boy or girl but will be Xia's mum or dads name.  If you are confused do not worry for I am Wright..

[Neil]

The thing I worry about is when the immigration interviewer asks her: Why didn't you take your husband's name?  Don't you really love him?  Isn't this a true marriage?  Meanwhile, she hasn't got a clue what the hell he's talking about and she fails the interview.  It is pretty common in the west for the woman to take the husband's last name.  And really, what makes our customs any less important than Chinese customs? 

If everything did go sideways some day, I think it's pretty easy to change her name back, if she really wanted to do that.  Mind you, my ex-wife still has my last name.  At least, until this spring.   Apparently she's getting married.