hi ,how are you ?

[wild imagination]

dear friends .
i have been busy these days .i want to find some quite time to write sth on the forum but i just can't find the peaceful time which only belong to me .at night i should watch over my son on  his school work .the teachers are so crazy they assign so much homework .he should spend at least 3 hours each night on school work and he is just 10!
from my personal point of view ,i hate forcing my child to study all the time but the parents around  me are so snobbish and crazy .they are vanity too.each time when the test result come out they like to compare each other's children and seek for the superiority  over those who did bad .
because i have been so loose on my son .he has been one of the last students in test.which make me feel embarassed.in fact i think the score didn't mean  that the children will succeed in the future but with low score always he might lose confidence because he can't catch up with .
it's too hard for me to be harsh on my son.but all the people around are harsh .
i object to doing all these stuff which i disagree with but i live  in such society what i can do ?
how much i wish i could find leisure time to write some eassy on the forum and enjoy life.but
i can't find the peace in mind .
at day time i must work hard to make a living .
last time my sister told me that in china there are some people who begin to travel around the world now too as the westners .they fly to other countries then rent a car and drive all over !how i wish i could have that kind of life .
but i must be trapped here until i finish all the responsibility .i don't know if i could still move that fast as now and have the same figure as i am now when i could do .
sad isn't  it ?
life!
i scacifice my blooming age for working hard .hope one day i could achieve my dream but when that dream do come i would be an old woman .
no wonder some women want to find rich man in that way they could live an easier life and attain their dream earlier .haha .he could travel the world when they were still beautiful and young .
i ever look down upon women who were too realistic but maybe in some aspect,they are right !
i always choose the poor men and live a tough life ,what i get ?my ex was that poor but he betrayed me when we begin to turn better.now at 40 i must start from scratch and consume my poorly left beauty to struggle again in life !!
all my life ,struggle and work hard .my god !
dear friends say sth to give my strength to go on !
take care!

[Vince G]

Some wise words...

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.

[Arnold]

Very True Vince .
Life can only be Lived when one remains Hopeful and Strong as the World/Society makes living not always easy . Unfortunely , some of us do have it very hard right from the start and some later in Life .
I feel for you situation Lily , as being married to a chinese Lady myself .. I and most here have learned many things about Chinese Culture and Chinese Men's beheavour's towards their aging Women overall . It's not a pretty picture , but what are we to do ? My Wife went through some of this herself and it really saddens me .
As our Heart goes out to your Situation , believe me .. all here would love to find a good Man for you and change your life for the better . All we can do though , is .. as mentioned before .. only Hope and never loose that Hope . Because you never know what's around the corner of Life and you must be prepared for it when it does come , not to miss out on maybe " the one and only " chance Life will throw your way .

[Willy The Londoner]

Keep your hopes high Lily.

My wife was past your age when we met.

 So remember there is always another Willy somewhere waiting for you to take in hand and show just what a good woman you are and what a good wife you will make.

As Arnold says you mever know what is just around the next corner.

Willy

[Pineau]

Lily,

You are not alone. Everyone here has heard the sad stories of how terrible Chinese men are to their women. We have heard the stories of tragic divorces and how unfair life is for Chinese women. But that is a reality. Accept it and move on. Life is not fair and if you think it is then you will always be disappointed.

Also many of the men that come here have suffered the tragedy of divorce. Some of us (me included) have had our hearts crushed and our lives destroyed by a deceitful woman.  We come here to share our story, find comfort, get advice and make a plan for recovery.

When I first posted on this forum I was an emotional wreck. I caught my wife cheating with another man. I was lost and did not know what to do. But after sharing my story here the members of this forum listened and gave me advice and understanding. They did not solve my problem but provided a place for me to ask questions and get the encouragement I needed to put my life back together. With their help I came up with a plan. A plan to get out of my miserable condition and work toward improving my situation and be happy.  I did not know what to expect when I headed off to China but I knew I must do something and not just sit and feel miserable.

When I met my wife she was in the same situation as you. She was 42 years old and divorced from a horrible man. She was alone and raising   her daughter on a small income. For seven years she had very little time for herself and made her priority to provide for her daughter and giving her a good education.

When we first started talking on QQ neither of us dreamed that one day we would be married. We were just friends. But when we met face to face in China something told me that she was the right one.

I am just one example but it happens all the time here. A man comes here, tells his story, gets advice and runs off to China looking for a special woman. And many times he comes back with the perfect wife.

You seem to be stuck in this mood of despair. But you don't have to be. You should not give up hope. You need to stop thinking about how miserable you are and come up with a plan to achieve happiness.  We can't solve your problems for you, but we can certainly help you make the right decisions to plan for a better future.  It happened for me and many of the other members.
                 
                           IT CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU.

So tell us your story, tell us what you want , ask questions and ask for advice. You are in the best place on earth to get the kind of help you need.

[2hip]

Lily,  You are doing the noble work right now.  You are working long and hard hours to provide shelter, food, clothing, and education to your child.  There is nothing else on this planet that is a tougher work for a single parent.  Your son, even though he is barely out of childhood, will absorb all that you do for him.  Perhaps it can't be different for you now and you are struggling with the heavy load.  It breaks a man's heart to hear the struggle with no relief in sight.  Any good man seeing your situation would feel pain at seeing it.  May God bless you with the strength and vision to carry this noble work out until things get better for you.