I am beyond confused at this point

[2hip]

Okay Guys,  I'm 60 yr old American.  Pretty average in every way.  Decent guy, I guess.  I feel just overwhealmed with the responses of admirer's mails.  Haven't responded to a single lady yet.  I have several questions for you to field if you are up for it.
     If you are lucky enough to snag one of these low flying angels what is your experience in real life with the language barrier?  I think one of the most tantalizing things about a companion is the conversations and intelligence of our mates.  I would hate for either one of us to starve to death due to lack of interaction.  I look at the Chinese language and feel instant trouble.  If I am interested in the ladies who are mid 40's and up won't they experience the same dread in learning English as I do in trying to learn Chinese?

I understand the formula that these agencies are using.  Most of these letters are just translators trying to hook up a guy and get a fee going.  I don't want to use the shotgun approach on seeing how many quail I can bag.  I've been lurking on this site reading until I'm blind.  Are most of these more mature women pretty much on the even keel?  Would it work to send a short note of introduction and followed by flowers?  Then try to get over there to meet her within a month or so to see if she is real or not?  I just don't have the patience for months and months of emf to find out I was just allocating funds to the fat cats.

I could spend several weeks a month, every month, in China to really check out the lady and her intentions.  How would she view me living there until we figured it out one way or another?

Respectfully, Alex G.

[Vince G]

Well you've come to the right place and you do sound like a decent guy. First HIDE your profile on chnlove. This will keep the scanners from chewing up your credits, which I read recent they no longer have the first letter free? By hiding your profile you get to choose. The language barrier can be a bitch best keep an eye out for one that actually speaks english other what their profile says. You will have to learn some chinese and how you learn is up to you. You have a better chance with the over 45 ladies of being real.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Zhip , welcome to this forum , along with the facts that you have been reading a lot of us have in the back of our minds more than enough info to fill pages , so at each pause ask a question and you will be answered promptly , yes hide your profile , and most of those letters are simply fishing to catch a spender , but saying that there are many honest ladies in your age area it is the agencies and the translators that are not , you can cross reference any lady that does catch your eye , the agency or her direct may have her also listed at Asia Friend Finder or one of the others will put it in I think it is Chinese Love Links , over there you can talk direct including emails ,videocam  and QQ info after a few emails back and forth .
 One thing to remember is these days I would say 50% are quite happy to be living and if they are under 50 staying in China especially if they have a pension coming to them , so good luck and fire away with the Questions , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Scottish_Robbie]

good point, hide your profile then YOU CHOOSE who to write to. Pick the ladies who FIT your ideals/criteria. try to also get into the habit of using/learning (at least) some chinese.  The first 6 things I learned off by heart was Ni Hao (Hello), Ni Hao Ma? (how are you?) shi(yes), Bu (no) wo ai ni(I love you, zaijiang(goodbye) every so often I throw in some other words, after looking up my chinese/english dicionary.

in my experience of chinese ladies, their english was ok as in passable, as long as your english sentences does not become too long (like this post) then the translation and understanding of them should be ok.  I decided not to use chnlove anymore, found a much better and cheaper way of talking to the lasdies, although I cannot guanentee how they look before chatting to them
Oh and welcome to you

[David E]

2Hip

One factor that weighs heavily on the issue of "real" women, or Translators fishing for credits is the individual Agency. Some have a bad rep. (Changsha) and some of them actually work hard for their Women and try to help you find your Princess. Having said that, CHNLove is an EMF machine in general and many of us have been burned many times !! Also, many of us decided to continue the search with other means such as China Love Links, Blossom or even making new friends on QQ. Whether or not you find someone quickly is in the Lap of the Gods, but as long as you dont send money to ANYONE , then you cant get seriously scammed. Sending flowers is a nice gesture, but dont do it until you know you are communicating with a real person.

I think it is best to explore all avenues open to you. To take the time and trouble to go to China early is a very smart move. Many Men cannot or will not take this step and end up getting disillusioned with the EMF slow drip. So, yes, get off to China as soon as possible.

Language...always gonna be a problem of some sort. I could say with some confidence that you (or I, and many others) will never be conversationally fluent in Chinese....to the point of having deep, meaningfull debates on the meaning of life  ) But a Chinese Woman who is keen to find a Western Partner will have an easier time of learning his language...but it takes time. Modern translation methods via hand held machines or internet based translators allow for high levels of accuracy, so communication is not a show stopper. The last time we needed to resort to machine translation was when she asked me why the balls in the English Bowls game always went straight to begin, but then began to curve as they slowed down !!!!.....( this as a result of watching a World Championship game on TV !!)

I dont have any problem communicating quite complex issues with my wife, she has been learning English for nearly 3 years now and we only rarely need to resort to our computer based translators.

As a generalisation, at your age you will have a better chance of success with the 40 + women...more so than the 20-25 year olds who are from a different Planet !! Most women of this age group ( 40+) have been married before and have a child so they have virtually no hope of a happy marriage in China...so they are prepared to move Heaven and Earth to make a go of a western relationship. And I can vouch for the fact that they will also move Heaven and Earth to make their Western Man happy  !!

So....pick a few likely women from CHNLove, or any of the others and get going...dont respond to admirer letters UNLESS they are from Women who you would consider eligible and within the age group you mention...and be careful which Agency you use....ask us here about any of them, there will always be a valid opinion somewhere within our Brotherhood 

Have fun...

David

[Clayton]

Welcome Alex G and remember there are some Chinese ladies who speak reasonable English ,you just have to look a little bit hard to find them, and once you have her on skype or QQ you are home and hosed.

Cheers
Leeroy

[shaun]

2hip, welcome.  You have made a good choice to ask questions here on this site.  Lots of good info, a lot of knowledge and a few loose screws. (Not talking about sex only Canadians.  )

Everything that has been said is good so I won't bore you with redundancy.


Shaun

[Martin]

*cough*  What was that about the Canadians?

Welcome to the forum 2hip. If I can offer one piece of advice...don't under estimate the language barrier. From my perspective, its pretty important to be able to communicate.

Also, chnlove is not the only route. There are other ways that may better fit what you need. Like China Love Links, or getting QQ and seeing what might come your way.

[Willy The Londoner]

Welcome Alex,

There are a few here around your age and beyond. And there is a number of them, like me, living here in China.

I see that you are looking for an age that is sensible to you. My wife is in that age range.

When I came here in early summer 2009 I had very few words of Mandarin Chinese. I came to the South east of China to meet a woman from chnlove but after a couple of days we knew that it would not work.  But I loved the place and there and then decided to stay.

After being here a few months I met my now wife.  Her English was almost nil other than counting 1 - 10.

But we got on well together, we both realised that there  may be language problems and realised that at first, hand signals and body language were going to be the main source of communication, plus a Besta pocket translator, of course.

My wife soon realised that at my advance age that me learning her language was going to be difficult so she set out to learn English.  And now we communicate OK.  No, we do not have long and meaningful conversation, but we talk and still occasionally use the Besta on odd occasions. My language, more Cantonese than Mandarin, is still poor but I go shopping alone, I order the odd item by telephone and generally muddle through. 

Now like many women in their late 40's my wife does not really want to live elsewhere.  Her extended family and friends are all here.  But as I long decided that I would live in China as long as they will have me, that is not a problem for me.

My advice to you is forget any language concern, you can get over it.  Unless you intend to take her back to the USA and will be leaving her for many hours or even days at a time whilst working, then she may have a problem, not you. But you will find that learning from each other is fun.

Come to China and spend as long as you can.  It took me from June until September to meet the one I wanted to marry and in that time I had employed a woman to cook and clean for me. She had no English at all but I got by in those early days without a problem.

I would recommend that you seriously think of coming to say Guangdong Province.  It is easy to travel to, has a warmer winter and you can breath in the summer months. Plus at 60, have any sudden medical or other problem and you can get to Hong Kong very easily and from there they have numerous flights to the USA everyday where you can deal with any problem in a quicker time.

Plus you can always contact a member living here should you encounter any problem.

Willy

[2hip]

Gents, thanks for all the hard earned knowledge.  I appreciate advice given from those who've been there and done it.  Hate spinning my wheels, so to speak.  Man this stuff is blowing what is left of my mind..snicker..

[Rhonald]

Man this stuff is blowing what is left of my mind..snicker..

Wait until you see what is blowing in the wind! 

[Scottish_Robbie]

I see that you are looking for an age that is sensible to you. My wife is in that age range.

hahahaha Willy, you trying to get rid of Younyou???

[Willy The Londoner]

No chance matey.  What and miss the chance of her sorting our Rittle Lobb when he comes to visit.

Willy