I have thought this through. And I will keep thinking about it for a long time as well.
If my girl gets her work Visa fast, then this problem will be over for now. And we can think about it later when we return to China together for holidays.
I have my own house at Finland already and a stable and good government job (I can not be fired without me screwing something up, its in our law for my job). So I "can afford to loose" this money. Which I of course do not want to. And I believe I will not loose it either.
But if something goes wrong. I will have myself to blame.
I have really nothing to spend my money, because I have no one to spend for. I have been saving my moneys to start a family when I find the right one. And thats what has happened. And thats what the money will go for as well. I don't spend much, because its boring alone. Sure some occasional mens nights out. But that does not cost too much...
Of course when we get married. I will get that prenuptial agreement related to everything at Finland that I own. So that will be covered in any case. And I will of course explain it clearly to her. Tthe Finnish prenuptial agreement can be bent and modified to cover almost anything. If I cheat, then we go by normal divorce rules, if she cheats - then by my rules, if I die - normal rules, if she wants a divorce - I keep my stuff. If I want it - she gets her share etc... Anything that we can both agree to and is reasonable.
We talked today quite a few hours during my work time (on Fridays, theres like nothing to do, only day of the week like that hehe). She thinks that we can do whatever I feel that is right and that it was wrong for her to pressure me. On the other hand her parents are pressuring her, because they want her to have a good and secure life. I know things will take a worse turn, if I don't do this. Because last visit at her family I promised them as well. That we will buy a house together from China, to which we will retire to later on during our lives.
She would really "loose moore" by cheating me, than gain. Sure she would gain that house downpayment money, and rest of the house money will not be paid for in many years anyway, which would be left for her and the family to pay anyway after that.
But if she keeps me, when we retire to China, and sell my Finnish house. We can easily buy a house from Hainan or where ever she wants to live at then. And live a good life. She loves me, but I think she also thinks about this. If she keeps me, she will benefit even more.
Also her family has spent close to 100 000rmb for schooling her. So that she can get a job from foreign country. So her family does not have much left anymore either. If they take my money, then her schooling money would be wasted. As she would not be able to stay at Finland easily. So it is a win win, if she keeps me and stays at Finland with a good job and salary.
She is not the most beautiful girl in many mens eyes at China, neither the thinnest. So her options would be a little limited anyway I think. But I like her that way, not too thin, something to grab. She is still beautifull in my eyes. And looks will change over the years. But its the personality that we grow to like and love that matters.
She is very open and openminded. So am I. So we can have conversations about anything and it feels so easy and relaxing. I can only imagine later on, when she learns Finnish language even better. Things will be even easier and good.
I have thought about this in quite many different aspects, hers, mine, my Finnish familys, her parents... Like I said before. I feel that this is something that I have to do. For us to be happy together for a long time and for us to have a good relationship, trust etc. If I break this one promise now. It can lead to bad things later on as well. And me + she would loose all of our faces, more like our heads as well. If the parents found out that we don't do this.
They are quite "traditional". Even though I don't understand everything too well... But I understand this.