Willy
Just from my perspective.....
Like you, I aint young anymore
. I had a long term marriage with 2 children and we just grew apart over time, especially when the kids grew up. We both sorta drifted into seperate lives and ultimately divorced, that was in 1999. She had a very smart Lawyer and it all cost me an arm and a leg, I even had to buy her out of my Business as she was a Director. This left me with no option but to work like a dog to get back my financial safety.
I felt at the time that I did not want to do this all again, for a start, I had no experience in relationships outside of my marriage, I did not know how to start off on this track again in the modern World, where women seemed to want entirely different things from a marriage than they did when I got married the first time (1964). I had done pretty well for myself financially and got the feeling that all the women I came into contact with saw me as a cosy life for the future, a meal ticket and that sort of stuff.....in short I was a real "committment phobic "...with good reason (IMO)
A good friend of mine met and married a georgeous Russian woman on Internet, and I was very envious of him
...luckily (for me) I saw how this panned out over 2 awful years for him as she ran him ragged and evewntually skinned him for lots of money. This reinforced my views on steering clear of longterm relationships in the future.
But life gets a bit pointless when you are older and on your own, it IS lonely at times and the main cure seemed to be work, work, work...which I got more and more to realise was a "non-life"
Sure, I had many dates and managed somehow to get my wiper fluid changed at regular intervals (
)...but it was all a bit meaningless.
My Lawyer is a Chinese Man by descent and he talked to me a lot about the qualities of Chinese women.......I half listened and one day decided to do an internet search and found CHNLove........
And you all know the rest of the story !!!!
In summary, when you find someone who you KNOW is right for you and she KNOWS you are right for her, then all the previous fears and uncertainties, the possibilities for another disaster, the concern for having to reinvent your life again...they all disappear, they dont figure. I was (and still am) ready to do anything for us as a couple, with the greatest of pleasure, We cannot know with CERTAINTY that this will last for ever, but we both will try our dammdest to make it so....you just get that knowlege and feeling that it is all worth it.
I have grown a lot emotionally in the long time I spent on my own (and I recommend this to anybody who divorces after a lengthy marriage...dont jump straight back in again...you aint ready yet ) I know more about my own wants and needs now than I ever did and I sincerely believe I know enough about the value of a loved partner to make sure that I contribute properly to the welfare of our partnership.
Having said that...I know there are only 2 guarantees in life...death and taxes