Sometimes I think people insist on pre-nups just to convince themselves and their relatives that their future wife does not care about his resources. If you are that worried to begin with then let me terrify you, a true gold-digger or a woman marrying just for a green card will wear you and your lawyers ass out with a well planned and executed VAWA case. If you are lucky, when all is said and done, you are not jailed and labeled a wife beater or sexual predator requiring you to register with authorities ( regardless of whether you did or did not ) and guess what that pre-nup will most likely be tossed aside by the judge. Anyway, on the lighter side here is a pre-nup for you red-necks out there( I am not going to mention any names in particular because you know who you are);
Bubba's Handy Dandy Prenuptial Agreement:
This here is a potential legal document that ought to be taken serious. It just might be binding in a court of law iffin' it is signed and dated by both parties and yer lawyer.
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For The Man o' The House:
What's mine is mine and that means a wife don't touch, don't snoop through, and by all means don't tell the locals what all we gots and ain't gots.
Property: All buildings, shacks, trailers, sheds, motorized transportation, land, huntin' tools, corn stills, and animals are to stay in the possession of the Man o' The House iffin' the woman goes a wandering off playing in another's pasture.
Child Support: Iffin' they don't look like me, I ain't supporting 'em in the event the wife partakes in wandering off the marital property.
Money: The Man o' The House earns it so he gets to keep it. 'Nough said!
Mother In Law Rules: Must abide by the 500 mile restraining order that will be taken out upon the day of the marriage. Postal mail will be permitted if weekly financial assistance is abided by.
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For The Little Woman:
Iffin' you came into this marriage with clothes on your back and kids from yer previous marriage you get to keep 'em.
Housework: You agree to keep a lookin' good, cook, clean, tend to the land, garden, livestock, keep repairs up on the homestead, and be aimin' to please yer man at the drop of a dime.
Man o' The House Signature:___________________________ Date: _____________
Little Woman's Signature: _____________________________ Date: _____________
Lawyer Signature: ____________________________________ Date: _____________
( for entertainment purpose only. Could result in a lump on yer head, black eye, tender groin, and endless lonely nights if yer crazy enough to hand it to yer woman to read... or worse, to sign it.