if a men told you his past at the begin

[chen yan]

Hello everyone, it is a long time I haven't been to this forum.
I am keep travelling during these days.

But now I have a question didn't understand that need brother's help. I hope I can get answer from the brotherhood. this forum always the first place I think of asking.

[Pineau]

It is hard to tell his motives. It could be he just wants to be open and honest with you (which I doubt). Or he is bragging (which I doubt).  or  he is testing you to see your reaction. see if you are pleased, shocked, curious, or repulsed.

Maybe he feels so comfortable talking to you that he is willing to expose himself without fear of your reaction. Are the two of you that close yet?

Prior relationships are not something I would discuss with a woman until after we were very close. No way I would discuss it with someone I just met.  I may be wrong but I think he is wanting to add you to his list of exploited Chinese women.

[Arnold]

3 long term relationship and one night stand with around 10 girls in China since he work here due to he feel so lonely).
 Yan, this alone should tell you something.. that this Guy is NOT marriage material. If he is telling you his past or not. Like Gerry said, you might be just another number on his "Belt" .

[chen yan]

1

[yvictor]

I made the same mistake whnen dating my current wife - felt the need to brag to her about past relationships.
She didn't like that obviously and told me so, and I made sure not to mention past relationship again.
So I think this can be just a bragging man kind of thing.

To Pineau's post about " list of exploited Chinese women": ha-ha, unless you have more information I don't agree with you, since when are one night stands about "exploiting" someone?
Maybe this guy was "exploited" by those 10 ruthless women :-)

[chen yan]

yvictor,
how long you have dating with her before you feel it is time to tell her your past relationship?
For me, I donn't know him long time although he told me a lot about his friend and family,most are very personal stuff.
I do hope he just like you said just want to brag his past but one one knows the truth...he also told me that his friend suggest him it is better not to tell the women too much your past ,but he didn't listen his friend.
We both though it is better to not begin,cause he knows I am afraid of it, and he also feel afraid whether he will disappoint someone again,I saw his tear when he said this.
I am not sure if he is using his honest to get someone's mercy ,cause I  hate to be cheated by taking advantage of your mercy since I have experienced it once and feel I become more  ruthless and numb which I donn't like it at all ,so I try to use my not very strong faith to think positive.

 Shaun, I remember the 24 hours rule ,So I become more  rational before make any conclusion.
for me ,it is a nightmare to experience this trap again, but lucky I got everyone's help here. I feel so weak in my faith of trusting right now, but I am glad that I stay steadily in my own mind. I will be more patient ,so donn't worry I will keep walking to the right direction .

[maxx]

Chen Yan the man is trying to make you feel sad for him.He tells you how he dated all thees girls.Slept with all of these other girls.Then tells you.He did it just because he is lonely.Oh and he cries to.While he is telling you this.You need to run away very fast little sister.And never look back.This man will bring you nothing but sadness.

In the United States we would call this man a game player.He is trying to play with your feelings for him.To get what he wants from you.He is very bad man.And you need to stay away.For your own happiness

[Martin]

I might be wrong but it sounds like we're talking about a certain guppy.

[Willy The Londoner]

I think maybe you are right Martin.   Just for record it was not me even though my early exploits here were well documented.  But brag to women numbers - well that is not on. He seems like a bit of a thicko to me.  Probably cannot count above ten as he only has that many fingers for that purpose.

Why cause embarrassment - he obviously has not understanding of the lady in question or he has no feelings for her. 

I have never passed information on women in my past to my now wife.  No names no figures no imature score cards.

Chen Yan - wait for the right man to come along.  He sounds as if he just wants to add you as another statistic - don't be just a number.

Willy

[chen yan]

Thanks everyone here, I feel glad I can learn a lot from it to block tragedy happen.
I know there must have a good men be there for me.

[Neil]

I might be wrong but it sounds like we're talking about a certain guppy.

Ha.  I was thinking the same thing Martin. 

Yan, I really hope you can meet a good man.  Someone you can trust completely.  Everything you've said about this man makes me believe he's not a good man.  He told you about his previous relationships?  I told my wife that she took my virginity (I have two daughters from a previous marriage).  haha.  Seriously though, I'm glad you didn't fall into his trap. 

[Rhonald]

 First - Hello Chen - It is always nice to hear from a friend again.

And I feel so disappointed to hear about this... what's happen to my coutry's girl...

The country girl has moved to the BIG CITY and everything moves  faster  in a BIG city.
 

If a men around 35 years old told you about his past (3 long term relationship and one night stand with around 10 girls in China since he work here due to he feel so lonely) but actually he have already tired of it , why he should tell me this ??

How long has this guy even lived in China? Three long term relationships at 35 only living in 1 country is already quit significant (commitment problems maybe?). If he has had this many just in China then I sure hope he has lived there for at least ten years. If only a couple of years then you have concerns to be careful with.

Since you asked us here on the forum I see you wished to get a honest Western male perspective and this shows that you are careful with your Heart. I think you have a deep desire to marry and be able to travel to new lands but not at the expense at being vulnerable. It is good to see you are being careful with your quest. I hope you do find that one special fellow because I think your carefulness also shows that you would be a true companion.
  Take care Yan.

[Rhonald]

I might be wrong but it sounds like we're talking about a certain guppy.

Ha.  I was thinking the same thing Martin. 

Well that individual is older than 35

[Willy The Londoner]

I know there must have a good men be there for me.

Well to be blunt Chen Yan my wife says you will only get second best as she has already got the best man there is. 

Willy

[yvictor]

yvictor,
how long you have dating with her before you feel it is time to tell her your past relationship?
For me, I donn't know him long time although he told me a lot about his friend and family,most are very personal stuff.
I do hope he just like you said just want to brag his past but one one knows the truth...he also told me that his friend suggest him it is better not to tell the women too much your past ,but he didn't listen his friend.
We both though it is better to not begin,cause he knows I am afraid of it, and he also feel afraid whether he will disappoint someone again,I saw his tear when he said this.
I am not sure if he is using his honest to get someone's mercy ,cause I  hate to be cheated by taking advantage of your mercy since I have experienced it once and feel I become more  ruthless and numb which I donn't like it at all ,so I try to use my not very strong faith to think positive.

Chen Yan,
My case was a little different: we were in different countries and we only interacted by emails for several months before we first met in real life. It was during that early period when we tried to get to know each other when I brought up this topic with her. I think I was secretly hoping she would also tell me about her history :-)