Her new business has her dealing mainly with ladies, but some men have expressed interest in her music teaching. But if an unmarried or even married male friend/student/ or teacher keeps asking her out for a dinner (just the two of them)..... comes to a point were good weather comments need an umbrella.
Rhon
No way could I disagree with this situation.
If my wife was asked to dinner by a male friend, I would expect that she sought my endorsement BEFORE the event. But my point is that for her to go to dinner (or some such other one-on-one meeting) without my knowlege would be getting a bit close to the bone for my liking.
However...if she DID go out with another Man in secret I personally, repeat personally would consider our marriage at serious risk when I finally found out.
If, for instance , your wife discussed with you that she wanted to meet a prospective music client for dinner because it could be good for her Businesss, then maybe you would look at it in a different light ??
If my wife told me shewas going to dinner with a male friend...just for the fun of it...I would likely explode !!!!! as I am sure most husbands would...rightly so.
There must be a boundary as you say...to have male friends as partof an overall social circle does not seem bad to me, to go into private one-on-one situations with other Men...seems VERY bad to me.
What got up my nose was the sweeping statement from a first time poster that the marriage under discussion by Pineau was in trouble because the wife had male friends...even though we dont know if the husband was an adulterer, a wife beater or just an opportunist looking for a way to hang on to his wife's home for himself !!!!
Ron, I confess to enduring some good weather, well for the past couple of years. But if I was experiencing some of the hypothetical situations you and David have presented, of course, we would be in the middle of a typhoon. Except that a man keeping asking my wife out for dinner (candlelit or otherwise) should not necessarily reflect badly on my wife's moral fibre. I would expect her to be honest enough to mention it, candid enough to joke about it and gently tease me with it, loyal enough to dismiss it, reflective enough to engage in a reaffirmation of what we mean to each other. I would be surprised if my wife doesn't already know it's not kosher to have assignations with men, so I know she is keen to police herself in that department. In fact, I try and encourage her to socialise more. But if I have to edit the lifestyle of someone who already edits herself, I think the marriage would have begun its descent down a slippery slope. I don't worry about what she does when she is not with me. I focus my worry on whether she is all right, safe, healthy, happy and eating enough.
"Don't know much about
zeros and degrees,
Don't know what a slide rule is for,
But I do know that I love you,
And I know that if you love me too,
What a Wonderful World it would be."
There must be boundaries, as you and David have said, but who sets them? With a child, they need their parents to set boundaries to educate them in responsibility and moral guidance until such time as they are mature enough to take responsibility for themselves. But adults? Some adults never grow up, but I still don't believe we have the right to police our spouses, even if they have indulged in irresponsible childish actions. I consider that my wife and I are responsible adults, who do not make excuses for our transgressions, but face up to them. I encourage my wife to make more friends. My wife encourages me to play more badminton (with single men, single women, usually playing doubles, haha). She says, 'Have fun. You like it. Do it', and sometimes I wish I stayed at home and spent some more precious weekend time with my wife.